Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Envelope

Gulf's Point of View

"I don't want to be unfair to Hughie. And I have a promise to him. So I am sorry. Maybe we are really not meant for each other."

I tried so hard to hold back my tears. I wanted to cry so bad. I wanted to hug Mew so tight. A big part of my heart wanted to take back everything I said but my determination to be true to my words outpowered everything.

My heart is in pieces. But this is for the best. This is the right thing to do.

"You're telling me that I am the one you love but you are choosing someone else over me. If that's what you want, then you will only hurt all of us. You know to yourself that you still love me. And you also know that you don't really love Hughie more than me. You would hurt us all three. Sooner or later, Hughie will realize that he is not getting the love that he deserves. I was selfish, Gulf. Why can't you be like me and stop being selfless? Give yourself the chance to be happy."

"The last time I gave myself the chance to be happy was when I decided to marry you, Mew. And where did it lead me? To a broken heart. That is why I'm scared, Mew. And you can't blame me."

I stood up from being seated on the sand and turned my back. The surrounding is now dark and you can hear the crickets from afar.

"If you still love me Gulf, and if you love yourself, please give me a second chance. I can still make you happy. I promise that I will be better. I promise that I won't hurt you again. Please come back to me," he pleaded.

"I have made up my mind, Mew. Loving you does not mean that I should take you back. I might not love Hughie now, but I might love him in the future. Maybe three years is not enough?" My voice broke.

He stood up and made me face him. His eyes were still bloodshot. He is close to crying. He reached for my hands.

"It was three long years, Gulf. You weren't the only one who was hurt. I was hurting too. I also longed for you. There was not a single day that I did not blame myself. I admit that it was my fault. And I know I'm being selfish again. But I'm just selfish when it comes to you. I want you so bad. Because I only love you."

I shook my head.

"I'm sorry, Mew." I am moved by the sudden outburst of his feelings. But we are not only talking about ourselves here. I have to consider Hughie with my decisions.

"If that's what you really want..." He let go of my hands and bowed his head. "...then there is nothing more I can do. Even if I want to kneel down before you, beg you to take me back, I know that it will be useless. It won't change your mind." His voice was devastated. "Can I at least hug you for the last time?" he asked sadly.

I nodded even though I wanted to burst in tears. He hugged me tightly and I hugged him back. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore so I let myself cry.

This decision is very hard for me. It's true that I still love him. But I don't want to be unfair to Hughie.

In that hug, I felt his fast heartbeat. I'm sure that he can also feel mine.

The hug was long. Five minutes, I guess. He did nothing but hug me tightly. I cried silently as I embraced the warmth of his hug.

He then broke the hug and immediately turned his back against me. He started walking away.

"I guess this is goodbye? I wish you and Hughie all the best in life."

I wanted so much to run towards him and hug him from the back. It pains me to see him hurting. But my legs wouldn't move. And my heart was getting number in each passing second.

I cried. And this time, I cried loudly.

He stopped from walking away. In that moment, I thought that he would come to me to give me a hug and comfort me with his touch. Because the truth is, it was only his warmth that could make me feel better.

But I was wrong. He heaved out a deep sigh before speaking, his back still against me.

"The boat will be here by seven to take you home. I just want to let you know that I respect your decision to choose Hughie. But I also want to let you know that the moment you leave this island, everything between us ends. The moment that you leave this island without me, everything is totally over and we are then free from each other. Maybe it's time that I move on too." His words were emotionless.

I cried harder as I nodded to his statement even if I knew that he couldn't see me.

"But if you ever change your mind about leaving, I will only be in the house waiting for you."

He resumed walking and went inside the house.

My knees felt so weak to keep me standing so I fell to the sand. I cried so hard as I hugged my knees. Until no more tears were falling down my eyes.

It's so painful. Why is this happening to me? Why can't I just be happy?

I know that in love, you are really not safe from all the heartaches. But why is my heartache too much? And why does everything seem to be just heartaches? When will I be happy?

The peacefulness I felt earlier was now gone. It went away in bliss. Because I know that the only thing that could make my heart peaceful is to be with Mew.

But I have to make this decision. For Hughie. For the best.

Maybe it will be hard for now, but I hope it won't be long. Maybe in the coming years, we would all forget about this. And we will all find true happiness.

I didn't notice that the boat already arrived. I forced myself to stand up.

"Will it be only you, Sir?" the boatman asked.

His question was like a temptation. I wanted to tell him to wait because I will just call Mew so we can leave the island together. That I want to leave this island with him.

But I did not do it. I had to stick to my decision.

With a heavy heart, I boarded the boat.

When the boatman started the engine, I wanted to jump off the boat and run towards the house. But I was scared.

I was scared to hurt myself again.

And my conscience was also stopping me because I kept thinking about Hughie. I can't let him down. After all of his sacrifices for me.

He has done a lot of things for my sake. It would be unfair if I won't sacrifice for him.

With a very heavy heart, I left the island. I watched how the island became smaller and smaller as our boat moved away until it was out of sight.

I left the island without Mew. And I left a piece of me on that island.

I'm sorry, Mew. I have to make this sacrifice. This is how life works. You have to make sacrifices for you to be happy. There are sacrifices that are worth it. And there are those which are not.

I just hope that this sacrifice is the first one. I just hope that this sacrifice will someday be meaningful.

I hope Hughie would not hurt me. Because even if my feelings for Mew is much deeper, I still chose Hughie over him.

---

It's been a week since my father's burial and the kidnapping. I thought that Hughie would be furious with Mew about what happened and go to his house to challenge him for another fist fight. But he did not.

Hughie acted like nothing happened.

The wounds on our head are now healed. And we are now living in my old house, where I grew up.

Hughie and I will be back in Spain tomorrow to finish all my contracts. My mother told me that I have to return here after a month. Because of my father's death, I have to take over his position in the company.

Hughie and I haven't talked about it yet. I'm not sure if he would agree to leave his career and life in Spain to live here in the Philippines with me. He's done it before so I'm not sure if he'll be willing to do it again.

MG Airlines. That's the new name of the merged airline company. It was changed three years ago but I only knew about it now.

Hughie has become extra sweet. He has always been sweet but now it's as if he consumed all the sugar we had in the house. I wonder what's with him. Maybe he found out that I chose him over Mew so he's showing me that I made the right decision?

Hmm. I smiled on my mind.

Every morning, he would bring me breakfast while I'm still in bed. And everytime we're watching a series on the television, he is always hugging me as we sit. He is so touchy. And at night, he would always kiss me on my forehead and remind me how much he loves me before saying good night.

And now that it's our last day in the country before we head back to Spain, he wanted us to visit Star City, the biggest amusement park in the area.

He told me that he hasn't experienced riding extreme rides yet so I agreed that we do it. He purchased unlimited rides tickets even if he wasn't sure if we will be able to ride on all of them.

But he made the most out of it. We almost rode on every ride. Even the most extreme of rides. He had a hard time convincing me about the roller coaster because I was so afraid to be on it. Especially when I heard the screams of other people who went before us.

"Please, Gulf. Promise that this will be my last request," he said before chuckling.

"Last request for today or last request forever?" I arched an eyebrow as I crossed my arms.

"Last request forever."

"Hmm. I don't believe you. I know how demanding you are. I'm sure you will still have many requests in the coming years."

"Promise. This is my last request," he joked.

I gave in to his request even if I knew that he was bluffing.

"If I fall from here, I will really kill you, Hugo!"

"Don't worry because I won't let you fall." He winked at me.

I felt butterflies in my stomach.

The ride looked very fun. Not until it started.

My vocal chords almost exploded because of my screams. He held my hands and lifted them into the air. Good thing that there are safety harnesses so we won't fall off even if we don't hold unto the bars.

"Holy shit! Waaaaahhhh!" I screamed.

"I LOVE YOU GULF!" Hughie screamed beside me. "I LOVE YOU FOREVER! I LOVE YOU!" He screamed repeatedly.

His face was filled with so much joy, but I noticed the extreme sadness in his eyes.

Why are you sad, Hughie? You've been acting weird lately. Do you have a problem?

He looks stupid as he continued screaming from the top of his lungs.

I really wanted to choke him after the ride. I was only stopping myself.

"I hate you! I almost puked because of that ride!" I complained jokingly.

He chuckled at my reaction. But the smile has left his eyes.

He took his phone out and approached a girl to take a photo of us.

I was still a little dizzy because of the ride but I agreed for the photo and smiled at the camera. He placed his hand around my shoulder.

"You guys look perfect," the girl commented after returning his phone.

"No, we're not," Hughie said as he laughed.

As we were walking towards the exit of the amusement park, Hughie saw a karaoke machine.

"Wait. I want to sing." He smiled and pulled me towards the machine.

"Do you even know how to sing?" I teased him.

"Just listen. Don't you trust me?" He raised an eyebrow as he asked for the songbook.

*now playing Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran*

"This song is for you, Gulf."

People started to surround us.

Hughie's sweet voice is so pleasing to the ear. He looked me in the eyes as he sang.

The song ended and all I can say is that I am so amazed with his voice. It was so beautiful and full of emotions. I couldn't really tell if he was happy or sad because he sang the song with mixed emotions.

"Why didn't you tell me that you have a good voice? You have to sing to me everyday!" I teased him again.

"That will be the first and last time that you'll hear me sing. You can only wish that I'll sing to you everyday." He stuck his tongue out.

"Hey! It won't be the last! I won't let it be the last!"

He just laughed at me.

After that, we decided to eat at an Italian restaurant. While waiting, Hughie was silent. It was as if he was thinking deeply, spacing out moment after moment.

"Are you okay?" I asked worriedly.

"Oh. I'm fine. Don't mind me. Let's order." He smiled weakly before calling for a waiter.

The waiter took our orders and immediately left. Hughie is again quiet. He's usually talkative especially when he's with me.

"You have a problem and you're not telling me. What is it?" I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. "You've been acting strange."

"I'm just tired. Sorry babe." He held my hand that was on top of the table.

"Okay. Let's eat dinner fast so that we can go home and you can take a rest."

He just nodded.

Our food came and we ate silently. He glanced often at me. It was as if it would be his last time to see me eat.

After that silent dinner, we headed home. While we were inside the car, he held my hand the whole time. He does not usually do that because he wants both of his hands on the steering wheel for safety driving and to avoid accidents. But tonight, he made an exemption because he was holding my hand as he drove.

I wanted to ask him again about what's going on but I chose not to. I just shrugged my shoulders and sat quietly,pretending that his weirdness means nothing. Maybe he's just really tired which explains his weird actions.

It was eight in the evening when we arrived home. My mother was waiting for us in the living room and immediately stood up when she saw us enter. She kissed my cheeks.

"How was your trip?" she asked.

"It was fine, Ma. Just tiring. Hughie was so energetic and forced me to ride on every single ride." I complained. Hughie let out a chuckle.

"Hughie, tsk tsk. You always make Gulf tired," my mom teased. "Don't drain all his energy tonight, will you?" she said before she winked and smiled maliciously at him.

"Don't worry, Tita. I will let Gulf rest for tonight because tomorrow is our flight." Hughie smiled. "I'll just shower. Excuse me." He motioned to go upstairs.

"Have you eaten dinner?" My mother asked me.

I nodded. Hughie was now upstairs.

"By the way, Mew came here this afternoon and handed me this." She handed me a brown envelope.

My heart started racing. I have been convincing myself to stop thinking about Mew since this morning because I did not want to be unfair to Hughie. I would be mean if I kept thinking about him while I was with Hughie. But now, I was reminded of him.

I accepted the envelope from her.

"Good night, hijo." she said before she kissed me goodnight and proceeded to her room to sleep.

What might be the content of this envelope?

I opened it and saw a document.

"Declaration of Nullity of Marriage." I read the heading of the document.

I stopped for a second as I absorbed what I just read.

"Petitioner, Matthew Darth Fletcher."

My hands started trembling as my knees weakened. I had to sit on the couch because it felt like I would fall to the ground.

I did not know it would be this painful. It hurts.

So much.