Chapter 33

Chapter 33: Hugo

"Sir, we're here."

A flight attendant woke me up. I scratched my eyes before checking the time on my watch. It's the 29th of October.

"Thank you. Can I have a can of Coke before I leave?"

"Of course, sir."

"Thanks."

She then left to get my Coke. Our private plane owned by my family just landed here in Spain.

My heart is still heavy. I have asked the Lord and all the saints I know to let these all be just a dream. But no matter how I wish for it, nothing else can be done. Because everything that happened was true. Everything was real.

On my way back here, I did nothing but cry and blame myself.

I can't help but blame myself for not being beside Hughie when he died. What were his lasts words? What were his last wishes? That I don't know.

I blame myself for wasting my time going back to the Philippines. I fucking wasted my time. On the wrong person. Only to find out that Mew was cheating. And what was his reason?

He could not share me with Hughie?

Who told him that he was sharing me with Hughie? Who gave him that idea?

He had all of me for him. I was his, and his alone.

What I did for Hughie was what a friend would do for a sick friend. And he was not just any friend. He was Hughie for Pete's sake!

Hughie was not sharing me with Mew.

And Mew was so selfish to even think of that! He wasted my time. He wasted the time I should have just devoted to Hughie. Fuck!

At first I felt hurt with what Mew did to me. But when I found out that Hughie died, all the pain because of Mew suddenly faded. All I could ever feel was the pain of losing a friend.

Mew really does not deserve my love. And I don't deserve his kind of love. I deserve more. I deserve better. And Hughie deserved better too.

It was afternoon in Spain when the plane landed at Barcelona airport. I went straight to Tita's house where Hughie's body was laid.

I was so hesitant and did not want to go in at first because I was not sure if I could handle it. I am uncertain if I could bear the sight of Hughie inside a coffin. It would surely break my heart. That is if it wasn't broken yet.

For three years, I've seen how jolly Hughie was as a person. He was the most thoughtful man I have ever met. He was the kindest. The bravest. And above all, he loved me so much.

He was a great loss. But no matter how much it pains me, all I can do is accept it.

While I was inside the taxi leaving BGC, I waited for Kuya Dominic to take it back and say that it was just a prank. But to my heart's shatter, it was not.

Eventually, I forced myself to enter the house, hands trembling, and knees so weak.

My heart was surely in pieces. It was truly heartbreaking.

And there he was. Inside his coffin. Lying there lifeless but still very much handsome.

I could not help but cry as I approached him. I shook my head, still in disbelief.

"I'm so sorry, Hughie. I'm sorry if I was not beside you when you died."

I hate myself so much. I wasn't there. I wasn't there during the last seconds of his life. I wasn't there for him.

I cried so much in front of his coffin. Other guests stared at me but I did not care. Tita and Kuya Dominic were just around the corner and allowed me to have my moment to talk to Hughie alone.

My cry resonated inside the huge house. I could not hold back the shaking of my voice.

"You were so good. I didn't deserve you. The world didn't deserve you. But you didn't deserve to die early either." My voice kept breaking. My chest hurts so much.

I had difficulty breathing because of the intensity of my crying. The pain was too much.

Why did he have to die so early? What is it with good men that they die early?

The moments in the past that we shared together flashed back in my mind.

There was this one time when it was my birthday. He knew how much I liked the movie "Call Me By Your Name" so he surprised me.

I thought that during that day, we would just watch an ordinary movie. But I was wrong.

He was the sweetest. The most thoughtful.

He rented the whole cinema. CMBYN was shown to the public 3 years ago already and it was no longer being showed in theaters. I wasn't able to watch it in cinemas because I didn't know about that movie when it was released in 2017. I once told him how much I wanted to watch the movie on a huge screen. But I did not expect him to grant my wish. He called the production company and paid them for a special screening. That's why it was just the two of us inside the cinema.

There was this one time when the manager of the fast food I was working for got so angry at me because of a mistake I made while serving a table. The manager embarrassed me in front of my co-workers and I told Hughie about it.

The next day, the manager apologized to me. His face was swollen, as if he was almost beaten to death. And that same day, I noticed Hughie's swollen hands. I was still able to notice his hands even if he tried to hide them from me. I found out that he was responsible for my boss' face.

But it was all nothing compared to what he really did to me. His reluctance to accompany me for three years to help me forget Mew. That was the kindest thing he ever did to me.

We were strangers. And how can one be so kind to a stranger?

Tita told me about Hughie giving Aron a few million pesos from his personal savings to keep Aron away. It made me feel more guilty.

Hughie was so good. No one deserved him. Not even the world.

I would never forgive Mew for wishing Hughie to die. He was so shameless! He was heartless! A true ingrate!

I lost count of the time I spent standing in front of his coffin, crying as if there was no tomorrow.

It took me a day to finally accept Hughie's fate. I forced myself to look at the bright side instead. That at least he won't have a hard time anymore. He won't feel the pain that he has been enduring. The few weeks he spent for chemo, I witnessed how much he was hurting. I witnessed how he tried to show that he was strong, so that Tita and I would not worry so much.

My face was beyond devastated as I watched his coffin descend to the ground. I feel so heavy. And the feeling of your heart slowly breaking once again filled me.

I hugged Tita who was crying loudly. I did not want to take away her moment so I just cried quietly. She is Hughie's mom. I don't want to ruin this moment for her. Tito, her husband, was also just quietly crying next to us.

"Rest in peace, Hughie. You will always have a special place in my heart." I dropped the white flower into the pit. His coffin was now fully underground.

After the ceremony, people who attended his burial started approaching Hughie's mom so I stepped aside to give them privacy.

I felt someone stand beside me.

It was Mew.

He was in his black suit.

How thick could his face be to show up here? He has no respect! He has no decency! After he asked for Hughie to just die, he had the audacity to show his face here?

What for?

I clenched my fists. But I did not want to ruin Hughie's burial. I did not want to make a scene. Hughie deserves a peaceful burial. I have no right to ruin it. And so does Mew. Mew is not worth it to be the reason for this day to be ruined.

Instead of talking to him, I decided to just walk away.

"Gulf, I'm sorry," he spoke. I can sense that he was running after me.

I ignored him and just kept walking.

I felt him grab my wrist but I pushed his hand.

I turned to face him.

In a soft but firm voice, I spoke.

"You have no right to be here, Mew. We're done so don't ever try to approach me again. Don't bother telling me that you're here because you're mourning for Hughie's death after you wished him dead two days ago! Because that is not the case!"

"I'm sorry. I did not mean that." His voice was full of remorse. "I was just carried away by anger and sadness. I hope you can forgive me."

Fucker! What a pathetic excuse! I laughed sarcastically at what he said. But I would rather preserve my strength than waste it in talking to him.

Arguing with him will be pointless. The best thing to do is to just leave him and walk away.

So I turned my back on him and left.

I was so furious on my way back to Hughie's ancestral house that I almost beat the red light. My hands were trembling because of anger as I held the steering wheel. Good thing I was able to control myself.

I would be lying if I tell you that my love for Mew is now gone. Because the truth is, it is still here.

My love for him is still here. Anger just consumed me. And I have no plans in forgiving him.

Now that Hughie is gone, I don't know how I will start forgetting Mew. I failed for three years. So I'm not sure if I will ever forget him.

Mew is supposed to be here, comforting me. He was supposed to be there for me when Hughie was still fighting for his life, because I knew that he knew how important Hughie was to me. He was just so selfish to not understand that.

I lived in Hughie's old house with his family for a month. His mom requested that I accompany them for at least a month.

I can't imagine how hard this was for her. They no longer have a living child. First, they lost their daughter who died because of suicide. And now, Hughie. That is why I could not say no to her request.

After that encounter at the cemetery, I never saw Mew again. I unfollowed and blocked him on all my social media accounts.

And after a month, I returned to the Philippines. But I was not there for long.

If I have learned anything in the last three years, it is to dedicate time to the right people and not waste a single second that you can be with them.

Hughie and my father's death taught me that. And I also learned the same thing from Mew.

So I went home to pick up my mother and take her with me. She and I left the country. I let Tito Achilles, my father's younger brother, temporarily manage the company and become COO which my mother assumed after my father's death.

I could not process my annulment with Mew because it was a long process.

I want to forget Mew, really. But at the same time, I also want to just be with my mother. I want to spend time with the most special person to me. Before everything gets too late.

Rather than waste my time with Mew and our annulment, I would instead spend more time with my mother. And let my heart heal from all the heartaches.

We traveled across Europe. At first I toured her in Spain. Then we travelled to Italy specifically Crema to visit the place where they shot Call Me By Your Name. Hughie and I had plans of visiting Crema together when he was still alive but it did not happen because of my busy schedule. Now I feel guilty.

The place was so magical because it was special to me. I've been wanting to visit Crema for a long time.

The next country we visited was France. Paris to be exact.

My mother also did not want to miss United Kingdom where she met an Englishman who later on became her boyfriend. And because of her new found love, she got busy.

That is why when I visited Russia, I was alone. My mother was not with me when I made a big decision in my life which I knew I would never regret. A blessing came into my life.

I have long felt that something was missing in my life. And I knew that it was someone whom I can give my love to. Someone I know who deserves my love.

"Hugo! Dinner is ready. Come out of your room."

"Yes, Papa!" he replied joyfully.

A little boy who looked so much like me came out of his room.

"What will we eat tonight, Papa?" he asked.

"Your favorite chicken nuggets and vegies." I could not hide the excitement in my voice. After hearing what I said, his face turned pleased and excited as he tried to sit on his little chair.

Hugo is my biological son who is now five years old. And yes! I named him after Hughie. It's been six years since Hughie died.

Surrogacy is legal in Russia. Instead of looking for another man to dedicate my love, I chose to have my own child and shower him with all the love I have.

When Hugo turned one, we immediately went back to the UK where Mama and her new husband lived. Honestly, I'm happy for her. I know she struggled with my father's death. And it was time for her to move-on. I'm sure Papa also supports her decision and wants her to be happy.

I made sure to teach Hugo Spanish as well. That is why he can speak four languages. Spanish, English, Filipino and Russian. I stayed in Russia while waiting for him to be born so I have a little knowledge of their language. I taught him Russian, after all, he is half-Russian because his mother is one.

We have a contract with his biological mother and surrogate mother. In surrogacy, the egg will come from one woman and another woman will bring the fertilized egg for nine months. I paid almost twenty million pesos for my son, so the contract clearly stated that they have no right over my son. But of course, I am not totally against the idea of them knowing Hugo.

In UK, I continued modeling.

Since I was an established model in Spain, it was not that hard to penetrate the modeling industry in the UK. I immediately worked with different brands, both international and UK-based.

I hooked up with guys, especially with my fellow models. Because of course, I also feel earthly needs.

But I never had a serious relationship. I dedicated all my love on Hugo.

We already have our own house here in Nottingham and my mother and her husband Uncle Scott are our neighbors.

While Hugo and I were eating dinner, I received a phone call.

It was from my cousin Lisa, daughter of Tito Achilles.

It was another bad news. Tito Achilles just died because of heart attack.

It was a very sad news. But what shook me more was the possible implications of his sudden death. My hands trembled which caused the spoon and fork to slip from my grip.

"What's the problem, Papa?" Hugo asked.

"We will have to go to Philippines baby. For good, I think."

"Philippines? You mean where you came from? As in Pilipinas?" he asked, one after another.

"Yes. Papa has to fix some things there."

"Yehey!" he said excitedly, still jumping.

I'm not sure how I should feel. For years, I have forced myself to never think about Mew.

My attention was always on Hugo. That is why I'm not sure if I've ever moved on from him.

I guess I'll have to find out?

Our flight was immediate.

I can easily just sell all my shares of the company. But Dad worked very hard for it. This airline company was his legacy. I can't just sell it because I'm sure he'll be disappointed.

So I guess I have no choice but to occupy the vacant position Tito Achilles left.

Which means that I have to work on the same company with Mew.

Then it daunted me.

No matter how hard I try, I still have to face the man I never want to see again.

My chest started throbbing when our private plane landed.

And I know to myself the reason why I am nervous.

I called our househelp to check if the driver would be here to pick us up but I was told that the car is not here yet because of the heavy traffic jam.

Hugo and I still had to wait in the waiting area for the car.

While waiting, I noticed a little boy who was almost the same age as Hugo, crying as he tries to look for his parents. I felt sorry for the little guy so I approached him.

I can't imagine Hugo being lost in this crowded and busy place. I always make sure that he is in my line of sight.

"What's wrong baby boy? Where are your parents?" I asked him.

This kid looks familiar. But I'm very much certain that I haven't seen him before.

"Daddy left me to buy me donuts. Huhuhu," he cried.

"Your daddy is a bad guy. He doesn't love you," Hugo groaned. The child's crying got louder.

"Hugo, that's bad. Say sorry to this little boy," I reprimanded my son but he just rolled his eyes.

"But his father is bad. Papa does not even leave me unattended. While his papa left him. His papa is bad."

"I'm sure his dad is a good guy."

"No! He's not!" Hugo insisted.

Very talkative indeed! I guess he got that trait from me?

I want to pinch him at that moment.Tsk tsk. Kidding.

But even if he is often talkative, Hugo is a good boy and I love him so much.

"Come. Let's take this kid to the customer service so that we can announce it on speakers. So he can find his daddy."

I lifted them both to my arms. Fortunately, they weren't too heavy. Hugo is on my left arm and on the right arm is the other kid.

Wait, I haven't asked for his name yet.

"What's your name?" I asked the little boy.

Infairness, he is cute. But of course, my son is cuter.

"Matthew Darth."

I stopped walking.

What did he say?

"What's your name again?" I asked, my forehead frowning.

"It's Matthew Darth Fletcher Jr."

What the fuck? I almost could not believe it!

"What is your father's name?" my voice was almost a whisper.

My chest throbbed, anticipating for his answer.

"Jr.? Is that you baby?"

I heard a familiar voice from behind. At the same time, the child I was carrying turned to face the man's voice.

"Daddy!"

And there he was in his business suit.

My heart almost skipped a beat. But little by little, I felt anger creeping inside.

Mew was shocked to see that I was carrying his child.

I tried my best to keep a poker face. I deliberately did not show emotion.

I gently put the children to the ground.

"Hey babe."

We all turned to the man who called Mew.

My eyes widened when Tommy Saavedra approached Mew and kissed him on the lips.

I clenched my fists and pulled Hugo away from there.