Chapter 44

Chapter 44 Title: Blame

Chapter Theme Song: You Right by Doja Cat, The Weekend

[Iris’s POV]

“Ladies and gentleman, we ask for you continued indulgence for a few more minutes. The president will be here shortly. Please remember to keep you questions brief as we have a lot to get through today. Thank you for your patience.”

Whispers rippled through the room upon Daniel’s announcement. We hadn’t returned to Silverstone City because Xavier and Daniel had both agreed that the damage was too great to be handled remotely. I couldn’t help but agree and hopefully the public would see that Xavier wasn’t to blame for this tragedy.

I had returned around one in the morning from my meeting with Artemis. He was right. I had a fiancée and prior obligations. I had a job to do and a purpose to fulfill. There wasn’t room for any other emotions. Glancing across the room, I took in the faces of all the gathered reporters and my palms began to sweat. They were waiting. Waiting to see what Xavier would say. Could anything he said make the public change their opinion about what had happened? When I had gotten in this morning, I went to check on Xavier. He had still been asleep and I hoped that by morning he would return to his normal domineering self. Seeing him so vulnerable had caught me completely off guard and I had truly wanted to help him. But, I couldn’t allow myself to feel that way again. It no longer matter what I wanted. Artemis was right. Wolf would always get what he wanted—no matter who was in his way.

Footsteps came towards me and I inhaled a deep breath. The sensual scent of his cologne invaded my senses as he passed by me in one swift motion. He didn’t even look at me. He was wearing a dark grey suit with a black dragon embroidered on his jacket’s breast pocket. As he stepped toward the podium, he swept his icy blue gaze over the crowd. Determination and strength radiated from him and the room fell into complete silence. I smirked to myself. He was back.

All eyes were focused on Xavier Gray as they waited with baited breath for his statement. But before he opened his mouth, his gaze fell on me. I flinched. There was such anger in his eyes that I felt it to my very core. My brows rose in question as I thought, “What the hell did I do now?”

Suddenly, he broke off the stare and fixated his eyes on the reporters.

“I would like to personally thank everyone for coming on such short notice. Yesterday’s tragedy shook everyone in the region and I was no exception. I have no other information to give on the matter since the investigation is still ongoing. The only thing that I have left to say is that I am sincerely sorry for what occurred. It should have never happened.

“My party and I will continue to strive towards making reparations to the families who lost their homes and loved ones yesterday. As president of this nation, I will assume full responsibility for what took place. My party is not to blame since they weren’t even aware of this project. The Dragon Party has always had this nation’s best interest at heart and they will continue to act accordingly. Thank you again for your time.”

A dead silence fell so thick across the room that I wondered if anyone was breathing. His announcement was so shocking that it had taken everyone by surprise. What the president had just done was nothing short of political suicide. Glancing over at Daniel, I could tell from his shocked expression that even he wasn’t aware that Xavier was going to assume full responsibility. I shifted uncomfortably in my shoes. He hadn’t done anything! It was my fault and the guilt was eating me alive. I was the one who had dragged him into this hell and he was paying for it.

In one brief motion, Xavier turned and walked away. Whispers began floating through the air as he walked towards the door. I bit my lower lip hard as I watched Daniel dismiss the reporters and then I turned on my heel to follow Xavier to the office he was using. I clicked the door shut and whirled around to face him.

“Why? Why would you do that? You could have made any number of excuses as to what had happened but you… You have just ruined you public image and, more than likely, your chances to win the election!”

He ran his hand through his hair, making the neat combed hairs fall across his forehead, as he let out a ragged breath. Looking over at me, his lips curled up into a sardonic smile at my bewildered expression.

“And why, exactly, do you care about my public image, Miss Young? It’s not like you actually care what happens to me, right?”

He stepped towards me with a predatory gaze and I took a self preservation step back. Images from our passionate kiss last night raced through my mind. I could feel my face growing warm as I cleared my throat and did my best to maintain a professional facade.

“Ahem. It is one of my responsibilities to ensure the safety of your image, sir. I was just expressing how ill advised it was to have made such an announcement to the press.”

He shook his head and turned away from me. I just stood there and watched as he walked over to the mini bar to fix himself a drink. Pouring three fingers of an amber liquid into the glass tumbler, he swirled it around before he brought it to his lips.

“Right. Responsibility. You wouldn’t care if I lived or died. Just as long as someone was around to sign your paychecks, you would be just fine, right?”

My brows furrowed and I took a step forward.

“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked, genuinely confused by his attitude.

Flopping down into a chair, a small burst of laughter escaped his lips. It sounded raw, rough and hurt. Hurt? I rubbed my temples and tried to understand what was going through that head of his.

“Would you mind clarifying, sir?”

Without a moment’s hesitation, he said, “You left me.”

I blinked. Once. Twice.

“What?”

“Last night, you left me when I was at my lowest point. I was lonely, confused and broken. Sound familiar? I thought you of all people would understand, but no. You just left me.”

My throat went dry. Fuck, I didn’t think he had woken up right after I left. Was I supposed to stay with him throughout night? I felt terrible about leaving him, of course. But, I had to find out the truth.

“Yeah, a lot of good that did,” I thought as I internally rolled my eyes. I looked over at Xavier and I wasn’t even going to argue with him. He was right and I was a jerk.

“I am truly sorry, sir. I had some work that needed to complete and by the time I was finished it was almost time for the press conference.”

He shot out of his chair and went over to the scattered stack of files on his desk. He swore under his breath as he rummaged through the documents.

“Again, I am reminded how fortunate I am to have such a dedicated employee. She cares so much that I maintain my lofty position and my crystal clear image.”

Although the tone of his voice held no inflection, every word he had just said was dripping with sarcasm and anger. I knew that he was probably feeling lonely. Who wouldn’t in his position? It is rare for a regular person to find a circle of people that genuinely care about them in this life. With someone like Xavier, I was sure it was near impossible to find people that he could sincerely trust. The thought of him being all alone was enough to make me want to rush over to him. I took a step forward. I wanted to go to him, to give him a hug and tell him that everything was going to be fine. I wanted my fingers to smooth down his rumpled hair and reassure him that I would always be there for him. But, I couldn’t. Artemis’s words rang in my head as I took a step back.

“Remember, you have a fiancée. Act accordingly.”

[Xavier’s POV]

“So how are you feeling these days?”

I glared at my personal therapist. “How do you think?”

We had arrived back in Silverstone City late this morning. Honestly, I should have probably stayed until I could hear of the public’s response from my announcement. But, I needed to talk with my therapist. Something was wrong with me. I just knew it! I have never been so emotional in all my life.

It all started going downhill after I watched Iris leave my office around midnight. I had wanted her desperately to stay. The images of our passionate kiss were, in truth, a little blurry but I still remember how it felt. I wouldn’t say that I was a hundred percent drunk while we were making out, but I definitely wasn’t sober. Not that it mattered. I had wanted to kiss her. I had wanted it so badly that I couldn’t hold back anymore. I wanted to melt into her.

Iris had a soothing air about her and it comforted me to have her around. However, I knew that we couldn’t and wouldn’t end up together. It was a terrifying thought. The knowledge that she wouldn’t always be by my side was becoming unbearable. I had tried ignoring her but that didn’t work. In fact, I had a sneaky suspicion that it had made my longing for her worse. What the hell was that about?

I heard my therapist tap her pen against her notebook, bringing my attention back to the present. She pushed up her round framed glasses as she studied me intently. She was waiting for me to answer her question. What had she asked again? Oh, right.

I inhaled a deep breath and then blurted out, “I have majorly fucked up! I don’t think I can't control myself with her anymore.”

She crossed her legs and her brows rose as she asked, “When did you first notice this?”

I always had issues discussing my personal problems with people—my own mother included. I just didn’t like exposing myself by sharing my struggles with others. I always had to be the strong person in the room. However, when I started seeing my therapist, Luna, I found it most refreshing to dump all of my cares onto her. Other than the dozens of confidentiality contracts she had signed that made it near impossible for her to break her word, I knew that she was very fond of travelling and certain luxuries. So what if I paid her a king’s ransom? She was worth it. After a thorough investigation, I found her to be one of the rarer breeds of her field. She actually cared about her patients. Luna would actually take the time to listen to me instead of writing me off as having an abnormality. Normally, I only came to see her when I didn’t know how to go about controlling my raging emotions.

Letting out a shallow breath, I replied, “Ever since Miss Young became my secretary. I am always thinking about her for absolutely no reason other than the fact that I like thinking about her. I also acted like a fucking teenager with her this morning because she had left me last night while I was out stone cold from drinking too much. When I woke up and saw that she wasn’t there I felt…”

I shifted in my seat. God, this was uncomfortable. I looked over at Luna and she was grinning at me like a fool. What the hell was wrong with her?

Snapping her notebook shut, she leaned forward with a glint of amusement in her eyes.

“Tell me, Xavier. Do you feel an uncontrollable urge to fuck her whenever she is around you?”

“What a professional way to put it,” I said dryly.

“Just answer the question.”

I didn’t even have to think about it. Leveling my gaze to hers, I said emphatically, “I would never force her to do anything she didn’t want.”

Luna rolled her eyes. “I know that, Xavier.”

“It’s just—” I shifted again in my seat. “Her touch feels comfortable and harmless. I’ve never felt like this before.”

“Uh-huh. And have your panic attacks returned since Miss Young has been in your employ?”

I shoved down the rising sense of fear at her words. Considering everything that had happened in just the past few days, I was actually quite proud of myself.

“No, they haven’t. I just feel like my emotions are all over the place. What is going on with me, Luna? I really don’t—”

“Oh, Xavier,” she said with a broad smile spreading across her face. “You’re in love with her, you dummy.”