104

As I walked through the narrow streets of Alicante, I was already surrounded by happy, partying people who were dancing in small groups in front of the bars and seemed to be enjoying life to the fullest.

Unaware that everything was ephemeral and happiness just a very small whiff of something that passed you without a trace, without being able to grab and hold on to it.

Despite my unrelenting sadness, I tried to push the pain aside for the time being, even if it was hardly possible for me, but Isalie was probably already waiting in the apartment and I didn't want to drag her into this hole.

She was too smart and perceptive not to immediately notice that something was wrong with me... but at least I could try to hide it from her. Not for me, but for her and her pure soul.

"Damn it!" I cursed angrily at my fate, earning curious looks from a few tourists, who immediately avoided my gaze when I stared back at them.

How I would like to have such a carefree life. Just enjoy the high and I knew that with my butterfly I could do just that. With her I didn't need a villa. I needed no money, no power, no prestige. All I needed was her, air to breathe, and that one touch of happiness...

With a cigarette between my fingers, I turned into the street of my apartment and saw Hector's limousine from afar, which made me breathe easy.

She was up there, safe, and that's what, despite all the shit, was what put a satisfied smile on my face, no matter how bitter the whole day had been.

Full of anticipation just to be with her and to be able to forget the pain for a moment, I flicked the cigarette to the ground, took another deep breath and then pressed the doorbell.

The buzzer sounded and I pushed open the heavy door to rush up the stairs immediately.

Her scent was palpable, but as I entered the apartment and closed the door behind me, I could already sense that something was wrong. I had a sense for something like that and only walked very slowly down the narrow, dark corridor, stopping at the corner of the living room.

My gaze fell on Isalie, who was standing by the window with her back to me, looking out into the night.

She had tied her dark hair in a high ponytail, she had swapped my loose t-shirt for a red tank top and was wearing short black shorts underneath.

"Isalie?" I whispered, barely audible, and was about to take a step around the couch when she turned to me and I just looked at her in shock.

The warmth I had so looked forward to was no longer a part of her. Her eyes, usually so warm, looked so empty, as if someone had taken any happiness away from her, and her appearance... Her appearance showed only uncontrollable chaos.

My butterfly seemed broken, her wings unable to fly and the worst part was I had no idea what it was.

"Isalie," I breathed quietly again, swallowing hard because I didn't know how to deal with her, didn't know what to do, but she seemed so much stronger than me despite her condition.

"Thank you for being there," she breathed into the silence, hurrying towards me to immediately wrap her delicate arms around my trembling body.

"Tell me what happened," I demanded, because while she was hugging me tightly, I imagined the worst things, but Hector was with her.... What could have happened...

"Please," I added softly and immediately she looked up at me with wide eyes and I threatened to break at any moment as they slowly filled with more and more tears.

"Show me," she suddenly said quietly and broke away from me while sobbing, then pulled her top over her head so that she stood in front of me completely bare at the top and looked at me as if she were sharing her pain with me want to share. As if I were the person she was silently begging to rescue her from the darkness, even if it was just for a moment of silence. "Show me what you meant when you told me you wouldn't want to scare me."

She leaned forward and pulled down her pants to present herself completely naked to me, but I realized immediately that she wasn't giving me a view of her body, but of herself.

This was surrender driven in her utter desperation and had I been stronger at the moment I would have pulled the covers off the couch, gently wrapped them around her and held her in my arms all night. But I wasn't strong, not after that day and I gave myself to her.

I slowly unbuttoned my shirt, kept looking into her shiny eyes and understood without words that she wanted to feel something. She wanted to let go, have a whirlwind and I wouldn't be me if I wasn't more than willing to give her that.

As soon as I unbuttoned my shirt, I dropped it on the floor and took off my pants, after which we stood completely naked and gazed at each other in silence.

It wasn't about sex, it wasn't about climaxing. What happened between us here was so much more than just bare skin. It was like we recognized each other. Real life, our real feelings and then my butterfly was ready to let me see into her.

"I didn't want to tell you," she whispered through her tears, slowly walking towards me to place her trembling hand on my chest just in front of me. "But I don't want to hide anything from you. I don't want anything to stand between us anymore."

She looked up at me, pressing her hand even tighter over my beating heart while her other hand clasped mine.

"I shot Carlos," she breathed suddenly, and I thought my heart would stop, but she immediately let go of my hand and gently placed her hand on my cheek, making me close my shocked eyes to have them judged. "And it's neither your fault nor mine and I don't want you to think you could have prevented it or protected me! You couldn't have, Emilio. You're here, that's the only thing that matters now and it's the only one what keeps me going."

Her voice, so soft, kept breaking and it took me a moment to really realize what she had just said to me. She had killed someone and while he certainly deserved it, he would now be a part of her forever...

How I wish I could have saved her from that...

"I unknowingly took a child's father just because my father wanted to destroy me, little butterfly," I breathed, not knowing why I was revealing myself to her like that at that moment.

But there was nothing more that would have scared me and even if she had condemned me for it, it would have been her right.

"Are we monsters, Emilio?"

She looked at me, but not as if she hated me or even judged me. More like she accepts me and my actions and understands that it wasn't me who wanted to take this man's life. She was smart enough to understand that it was my father and I really hoped she would be strong enough to accompany me on my way to destroy him, because that's exactly what I intend to do.

"In the eyes of others, for sure," I gave her an answer to her question and immediately she snuggled her body even closer to mine.

"And what am I in your eyes," she whispered through tears, gently stroking my cheek with her fingers while her gaze was intently on me.

"You will always be my delicate butterfly, no matter what, Isalie."

She smiled wistfully up at me, standing on her tiptoes to eagerly place her soft lips on mine. Her warmth returned to me, enveloping me and longing for her, I cupped her tiny waist and rolled her around with my back to the couch while our tongues danced together like there was only the here and now.

Like there's no more darkness...