55

After we slowly got dressed again, I flopped exhausted into one of the red seats behind me while Mandy stood in front of me and looked down at me, a little embarrassed.

"Shy again?", I wanted to provoke her a little bit and put on a dirty grin, which immediately encouraged her to sit sideways on my lap while she wrapped her arms around my neck and eyed me intensely.

"In love, I would call it," she suddenly whispered, and my stupid grin vanished instantly at her words. My heart skipped a beat at the seriousness of her words and I didn't hesitate for a second to gently place my hand on her flushed cheek to look back and forth between her beautiful eyes while she seemed slightly nervous. "I hope it was okay to-"

"Marry me," I cut her off, watching her eyes widen at my statement and stop breathing completely for a moment.

Her big eyes studied me intensely, probably to see if I was really serious.

"Senan," she breathed, glassy-eyed, and I felt my heart beating so fast I was actually glad to be sitting in the moment. Otherwise I would probably have passed out from the tension. If only because she didn't reply to that... At least I hadn't heard a "yes."

"We should take our time."

Fuck...

This sentence hit me with a force that painfully rushed through every vein in my body...

"I get it. It was stupid to even say it," I replied, deeply hurt, but I didn't let my emotions show. Instead, I put on a fake smile and at the same time carefully pushed her off my lap and then stood up as well.

"We should check on Rian," I explained quietly, averting my gaze from her to turn my back and walk ahead of her through the narrow row of seats.

"I didn't mean it the way you might take it," I heard her say apologetically behind me, but I didn't answer her and just kept walking down the wide steps to the exit of the large cinema hall, politely opening the door for her despite everything to stop.

I kept trying not to look at her, because while it didn't really change how we felt about each other, whether we were married or not, it hurt me a lot...

After she stood waiting next to me with her wistful gaze directed at me, I took a deep breath and enjoyed the smell of popcorn, before walking with her to the exit of the cinema. I took one last look at the snack bar, gave the ticket seller another friendly nod and then disappeared with Mandy out of the cool air of the cinema, through the glass door and into the heat outside.

"I'm still married," she suddenly said quietly when we got outside on the busy road and I glanced over at her, overwhelmed by this uncomfortable situation.

"And that is the reason?"

"Not quite," she wanted to explain, but I turned back to the street and ran ahead of her to the other side. I didn't even want to know why she didn't because I definitely knew it was me. She was perfect, I was just a failure.

"Mandy, you don't want to marry me and that's perfectly fine," I told her when I got over there, looking up at the bright sky when I suddenly felt her hand on mine and turned my eyes back to hers.

"Now listen to me very carefully!", she got a little louder and took my chin tightly in her dainty hand to give me a challenging look.

This kind of her made me proud again and at the same time incredibly horny.

"I want to marry you, you idiot! Of course I do!", she smiled and just from these words my heart danced a thousand melodies again. "But not like this. Not when your brother is in a coma. Not when your father's funeral tomorrow and certainly not with a proposal between popcorn and cheap coke. I'm worth a bit more fancy, am I not?"

A stupid smirk spread over my lips, which immediately laid a demand on hers to pull her into an incredibly beautiful kiss, which once again took everything inside me under the warm Dublin sun...

"I'll fetch the stars from the sky for you," I breathed between our passionate kisses, but she just giggled sweetly and shook her head slightly.

"Let's not overdo it," she whispered, and I immediately pulled away from her lips to pull her body tightly against mine.

"I would do anything for you, you know that, don't you?"

"I know," she mumbled into my shirt, snuggling even closer to my chest, which made me more than happy.

I never thought I could be there for someone. I never would have thought that someone could feel safe and secure with me. But she did. She was the exception...

She was the one... the one who made everything before seem utterly irrelevant.

My brothers have said so many times that I need to look to the future. That I should let my past be gone, but it was never possible for me. I never knew what they meant by that until this moment.

There was a woman in my arms who was really ready to share her future with me and from that moment on, my past didn't matter anymore. She didn't matter anymore.

Now the only thing that mattered was what was to come and I wanted to do my best to give her the best life possible. She deserved it... and so did I.

"Senan!", someone suddenly called me and while Mandy broke away from me and we both looked questioningly behind me, I recognized Padraig, who was walking towards us and was about to light a cigarette.

"Padraig?" I replied, looking at him curiously and excitedly. "How is he?"

Padraig looked back and forth between the two of us and I couldn't read his expression at all until he suddenly started to smile and my heart almost stopped.

"He is awake...."