56

Since Keeva didn't want us all to mug Rian, she asked us to go home. Padraig told us so and headed back to his Valentina, while Mandy and I also headed home.

We climbed into Rian's BMW and the feeling of her hand on mine as I shifted gears was so familiar and reassuring I never wanted to live without it.

"The worst is probably behind us," Mandy whispered into the silence and after I glanced over at her, she suddenly pulled her hand away and gave me an apologetic look. "Well, I didn't mean it like that. That shouldn't make Cathan's funeral look bad at all!"

She really seemed to be judging herself for her choice of words, but I immediately took her hand again and kissed it softly, giving her an encouraging look while we had to stop at a red light.

"I know what you meant. It's fine," I replied, but she still didn't seem relaxed. More like she's constantly walking on raw eggs and afraid she'll hurt me with something. "Mandy, you don't have to worry about me. I'm your friend, not a patient."

"I know," she murmured, taking a deep breath to shift her gaze to the windshield, which is where I was looking again after the light turned green. "But it's usually the case that people need time to cope with something like that. I just don't want to...."

She stopped and I tried to figure out what she was trying to tell me by glancing over at her until I realized it and shook my head almost imperceptibly.

"Stop it," I said quietly, squeezing her hand a little tighter so that she immediately turned back to me and listened intently. "I'm not going to relapse if that's what you're worrying about."

"Yes, it is, and I blame myself enough for even thinking of trying something like this this afternoon."

"That's behind us," I smiled reassuringly while listening to the soft music on the radio. "We found something better, didn't we?" I tried to embarrass her, remembering the last few hours in the cinema, and to my amazement it actually worked.

She blushed bright red and yet she giggled so sweetly that it lit my heart.

"That's correct."

"Well then. Don't worry about that anymore. Rian is awake, we're fine and everything else will come as it comes."

A nod of agreement from her and we were silent for the rest of the drive, each lost in our own thoughts to still be together.

Of course my thoughts wandered back to my old life. It was easy to push it all out and numb me. Up until a few days ago, I would have said with full conviction that I couldn't live without this stuff.

But now, I didn't even miss it. I just missed Jake. There was something about him that I was just too used to forgetting.

"We should go for a drink tomorrow after the funeral," I said, absorbed in my thoughts and noticed in the corner of my eye that Mandy was looking at me curiously.

"Both of us you mean?"

"No, with Jake and Jule."

"And the others? So Odran and Keeva?"

"Odran will certainly have to take care of Esme and Nero while Rian is still in the hospital. You certainly can't get Keeva off his side... Or rather off him."

"Senan!" Mandy admonished me at my allusion, but she suddenly laughed too and I enjoyed this light-heartedness, now that our head of family was sane again. Saved by his gypsy queen

"All right. Just the four of us," Mandy said as we pulled into the driveway and I parked the car and then turned to her. I kissed her softly on the lips and smiled gratefully before we got out and disappeared into the house.

"He's awake?" Odran wanted to know excitedly and got up from the couch so fast that he almost fell over the coffee table because of his injured foot.

"Yes, and now calm down," I instructed him, but he didn't think about it at all.

Hobbled and with a beaming smile, he approached me and almost swept me into his arms with far too much strength to hold me tight.

"Thank heavens," he breathed, and another stupid, provocative line was on my lips, which I didn't say, even though such emotional situations were too repugnant to me.

And that's when I got the idea of ​​what Mandy would expect from me for a proposal. Thinking, I looked over Odran's shoulder to the dining table where Chiara was sitting with Esme and where Mandy was also sitting down at the moment.

Did she want roses? Romantic music?

Did she want to be alone with me? Or should the family be there?

Fuck fuck fuck!

"You can let go of me now," I whispered to Odran, who immediately freed me from his grip and then wiped a few tears from his eyes.

My goodness they'd all gotten sensitive since they had girls by their side...

Was I like that too???

Nonsense, not me.

"Senan?" Mandy drew my attention and pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked at her questioningly and noticed at the same moment how in love and stupidly I was grinning at her, just because she looked into my eyes for a moment.

Fuck! I was probably even worse...

"Hast du Lust?"

"Do I feel like it?" I wagged my eyebrows provocatively and while Odran sat down on the couch again, I slowly walked towards Mandy. "Of course, I always feel like it."

"You see. Then that would be clarified," she suddenly said to Chiara and I really thought for a moment whether she meant a threesome, until Chiara stood up and pressed Esme into my hand.

"Thank you. At least I'll have a night's rest with my teddy," she said happily and quickly scurried past me to the couch to tell Odran the happy news that Mandy and I were probably going to play babysitter.

"I hope that was okay?" Mandy turned to me again and I gave Esme a big smack on her so soft cheek to turn back to Mandy with a wink.

"As long as I get a reward for it once she's asleep, I'm fine."

"You're such an idiot," she smirked, rolling her eyes while lightly slapping my arm to pick up Esme and trudge her to the kitchen island.

"What is it? Was that a yes or no?" I called after her challengingly and was amazed when she gave me the middle finger over her shoulder.

My only thought...

I had to get this girl to be my wife.