“MARIUS, ONE YEAR BEFORE”

"If only I knew where she was, Marius, you wouldn't have to tell me twice," Lana said, gently squeezing his hand.

If she wasn't mistaken, Sam's seven months pregnant now. Their baby. If only all of this didn't happen, Sam wouldn't be carrying everything alone now.

"I know I made a mistake. It was wrong of me to plan against her. But eventually, I fell for her too. And the love I feel for Sam is real. I've never felt this intense of feelings for anyone else," Marius spoke with deep regret evident in his tone.

"Let me talk to Andrew again. Maybe he knows something. Maybe Sam called him. Truth be told, I'm also worried about my sister-in-law. I want to hire a private investigator just to see her, but how can I do that? I know Andrew is the only one who can do that, especially since he has connections even in the UK," Lana continued, expressing her concerns.

Marius fell silent. He just picked up his cup of coffee and took a sip. After a moment, he excused himself from Lana.

He was in Baguio at that time to continue the delayed work. The Scott's Cafe branch they were building was nearing completion, but he still hadn't found the woman he knew Andrew had assigned to manage it. None other than Sam.

He drove his car along a familiar route that would lead him to a destination that would once again bring pain to his heart.

Marius could already see a familiar house in the distance, a place he visited every day. Not to check on it, as he knew the caretaker hired by Andrew was taking care of everything properly.

What he was referring to was Sam's house in Baguio. The house that once served as the sanctuary of their love when they were still happily together.

He parked his car right in front of the gate and got out of the vehicle. In his hand was a letter that he dropped into the mailbox at the gate.

He stood there for a sad moment, taking a deep breath. He didn't know if anyone actually retrieved the letters he left there. In fact, it had been five months since he started doing that. He wrote to Sam every day.

He knew that communication nowadays was not difficult using the internet. But he had already tried contacting Sam through all of her social media accounts and even email. Yet, there was not even a single response from her.

That's why he thought of doing this. Maybe he hoped that even the caretaker of the house would take the initiative and send or convey those letters to Sam.

"Sam, I know I hurt you deeply. But I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. There's nothing more important to me now than you and our child. Our family, Sam," he uttered those words while gazing at the facade of the house.

He didn't linger there for long. After dropping the letter in the mailbox, he left. He would come back tomorrow to drop another one. In this way, even if Sam didn't respond or even if he didn't receive any response from her, it didn't matter to him anymore. He had a feeling that if he didn't do this, he might die from depression. He might lose his sanity, and he might do something to harm himself. And that was something he didn't want to happen.

*****

"What do you need, and why are you here?" was Marius's formal question to Lena.

Marius traveled to Manila to take care of some important matters at the office. He would only stay for two days and then return to Baguio.

"Marius, I wanted to talk to you," Lena said in a pleading tone.

His eyebrows raised slightly, and then he briefly glanced at the woman in front of him.

"Isn't it clear to you yet that no matter what you do, I won't like you, Lena? That you ruined my life, and you're the reason why I can't be with or even see the birth of my child?" he said, managing to keep his voice low.

But the anger in his tone was evident. Because the truth is, he didn't even try to hide it. He wanted Lena to have an idea that he was still angry with her. Because he couldn't pretend otherwise.

"I know that I've made a huge mistake with you," Lena said.

He didn't speak. He really didn't feel like talking to her after what she did. She was just forcing him.

"But I hope you also see that I truly regret what I did," Lena continued. "I still love you, Marius. I love you so much."

"What's the point of this conversation if all I'll hear are the same words from you? My god, Lena. Give yourself a chance to live and be happy."

"But it's you that I love. I hope you consider opening your heart to me, Marius. What if we were meant to be together? And you're just being blinded by that woman who—"

"She's not just any woman, Lena! I love Sam! And no matter what happens, even if it takes thousands of years, I can wait, especially if it's for her and our child!" the young man replied and continued reading the paper in front of him.

"I love you! Why can't you see that? That's why I followed you here in Manila because I want to be close to you! Marius, I'll do anything for you!" Lena said as she started to cry.

He looked at the girl. She was sitting on the chair in front of his working table, with her handbag resting on her thighs.

Marius sighed. Then he shook his head and opened his mouth to speak.

"Give yourself a chance to be happy with someone else, Lena. That's all I can say. And please, out of the little respect left for our friendship, let me be. Don't come here anymore; I don't like it and it's not helping my mental state. So please, this is all I'm asking from you."

"I cannot give what you want, Marius," Lena replied.

Her tone returned to being firm and determined. Marius realized earlier that she was just acting, and now Lena's demeanor confirms it.

"You know, Lena, despite the long time we spent together as friends, I only realized now that I don't really know you," Marius said meaningfully, giving Lena another cold glance.

"That's hurtful to hear!" Lena responded angrily, standing up.

"I didn't want to say this to you, Lena. But you're testing my patience. I feel like I don't know you anymore after everything you've done. And I believe there are many things you're capable of that I haven't seen yet, right?" he retorted to her.

He noticed Lena's chest rise and fall with his words, so he seized the opportunity.

"You know, truth be told, I plan to go back to my old self. Do you know that? The me before Sam came into my life. Now, if you're willing," he said, leaning back with a smirk against the headrest of his executive chair. "You'll be my first prospect," he added, casting a suggestive glance at Lena.

"That's rude!" Lena retorted angrily.

The corner of Marius's lips lifted. Then he took advantage of seeing Lena vulnerable.

He couldn't understand it, but it seemed like his old self had suddenly resurfaced.

The old man used women for his own pleasure. And if Sam wasn't showing any signs of interest, why shouldn't he give himself a chance to be happy? He needed to distract himself. And this woman, who had ruined everything in his life, would be his tool.

"Do you want to pay me back, huh? You agreed to be my bed partner," he said casually. It was like a typical businessman talking to another businessman.

Or maybe it was more accurate to say a typical playboy was taking advantage of a woman he knew was head over heels for him.

"I'm good in bed, Lena," he continued. "Isn't that what you want? Do you want to experience what I can do to you in bed? If I can make you happy? This is your chance to fulfill that dream. You seem fine anyway. What a waste. If only I knew you were willing, I would have fulfilled your dream a long time ago.

He almost whispered. He deliberately made his tone sensual. Truth be told, he missed this side of himself. And now, he would teach his long-cherished friend a lesson.

That's right.

He would teach Lena a lesson. Because she ruined his life. But he would make sure she wouldn't get pregnant. He could have her, but he wouldn't impregnate her.

"Think about it, Lena. Give me a call, and I'll come to your apartment to make you happy," he said, taking out a calling card and handing it to Lena.

"What is this?" Lena asked, her voice trembling.

"That's my contact number for the women who agree to be my bed warmer," Marius replied, seemingly without any remorse.

He saw Lena swallow and watched as she shifted her gaze between his face and the calling card she held in her hand.

"How long?" she asked.

He shrugged. "It depends if we come to an understanding. Who knows, I might fall in love with you," he quickly denied the last statement. "I'm telling you, Lena, you don't have to do this. But I'm also saying that I'm getting impatient. I don't want to be like this anymore, heartbroken. So, I'll just go back to my old self. Just sex, no emotional attachment," he explained further.

Lena nodded. "Okay, I agree. Because I love you."

"I don't love you, Lena. I love Sam. You've done me wrong. And no matter what you do, you can't force me to love you. But it still depends. Like I said earlier, who knows, I might fall in love with you," he said in a cold tone.

"I'll just text you my address, and you can come over to my place for dinner. I'll cook for you," Lena started.

"There's no need for that, Lena. I'll come to your apartment because I just want sex, nothing else," Marius interrupted.

Lena didn't speak anymore. After Marius said that, he returned his attention to what he was reading. He also heard the sound of Lena leaving his office.

Marius let out a deep sigh.

"Welcome to my world, Lena," he said, chuckling softly.

Enough. He needed to bid farewell to his desperate self. If Sam had completely turned her back on him like this, then maybe he should just go back to his old self.

The playboy Marius didn't commit to anyone and didn't get hurt.

Marius didn't cry.