“WHISPERS OF UNCERTAINTY: LOVE AND TRUST”

I let out a sigh at everything Calum was saying.

I know his behavior well. He wouldn't speak unless he was sure. And because he knows me so well, he has even more reason to speak and ensure that what he's saying is correct.

"I haven't thought about that yet," I admitted to him.

"Why do you need to think about it? Like I said, I'm sure that something will happen again and again between you and Marius," Calum replied casually. His tone remained unchanged, and so did the expression on his face. Eventually, I couldn't help but laugh. "What's so funny?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I shook my head one after the other, accompanied by a wide smile. "Why do you seem so serious about the idea of something happening again between us?" I asked, amused.

Although I wanted it to happen again, of course, I was still somewhat hesitant. My goodness, I would even agree to a quickie if it meant being with Marius.

"It's because you're too hesitant," he laughed again. Taking a sip of his coffee, he continued speaking. "I know the truth, Sam. Are you going to lie to me?"

"That's it. What are you trying to say with that?" I asked, puzzled.

"For a complete and happy family that MJ deserves."

"What does that have to do with what we're talking about?"

"Come on," Calum shook his head. "Haven't you considered that if you agree to Marius' setup, there might be a chance for you to forgive him? That you might regain your trust in him. And most importantly, your family could be whole again. Something that MJ deserves," my friend explained to me.

I fell silent for a moment after Calum's words. Everything he said was right. That's why I couldn't find any reason to speak up or object. It was just for us. For our well-being. Especially for MJ.

"It's not that easy to do that," I said.

Almost whispering as I avoided looking at Calum and instead focused on the cup of coffee in front of me.

"What do you mean?"

At that point, I raised my head and met Calum's gaze. Everything was serious for me at that moment. I knew my friend noticed it, so he also became serious.

"I'm afraid that Marius might find out or sense that I still love him," I eventually admitted to Calum as the real reason holding me back.

"Sam, even I know that you still deeply love that man. What do you think it was when you had sex with him? It wasn't just sex, that was making love," I corrected him.

"See? Even you know that love was the reason for what happened between you two, right? Whether he said it to you or not, I know and I'm sure you felt it for him," Calum said.

"Yeah," I agreed. "But it's difficult because I'm afraid to trust him again. And besides, I don't think we need to rush everything. Maybe it's better if we take it slow. Maybe it's better if we let everything unfold naturally," I responded, emphasizing the seriousness in my tone.

Calum didn't speak after that. He just shrugged his shoulders and continued sipping his coffee.

*****

Marius arrived a few minutes after that conversation with Calum. I personally set the table for him. It was already past seven, and MJ was still asleep, so we had some time to talk by the poolside.

"When will you go back to your house?" Marius started as we faced each other.

I forced a smile. "The truth is, maybe we won't stay at your place for a while with your child. Kuya and even Lana want us to stay here instead while—-" I paused with the rest of what I wanted to say because truthfully, I didn't know how to admit or tell Marius about it.

"Yes?" Marius asked, demanding that I continue with what else I wanted to say.

I shrugged my shoulders and avoided looking at him. Then I gathered enough courage to say what I needed to say.

"As long as the situation between us isn't okay yet," I continued, looking him straight in the eyes.

I don't know if I was just imagining things. But because I kept staring into Marius' dark eyes, I could clearly see a sparkle in them. And that brought joy to my heart. But of course, I didn't show it to Marius. And I succeeded in hiding it.

"Really? So that means there's a chance or you're also considering giving this a chance between us?" Marius asked.

His tone and the joy were evident, and I could also see it in his open expression.

"I didn't say that," I replied instead.

I could feel the tension between us since a while ago. Even though the weather was a bit gloomy and it seemed like it might rain. But with the gl ances Marius was giving me, I had to ignore the apparent conflict it was causing within me.

I couldn't come up with any words to say. My lack of courage seemed to blend with the overcast sky, making me unable to speak up and initiate a conversation between me and Marius. And that was because of what I said and admitted to him earlier.

"Have you considered my offer?" Marius asked me after a few moments of silence between us.

I prepared myself for that question. But even though I did that, I still failed. I still wasn't prepared for what I could say. So I was speechless.

"I don't think that would be necessary," I replied firmly and then looked away from Marius.

I heard Marius let out a deep sigh, and it reached my ears. I could feel his struggle. The disappointment that my words brought him. I was just making it difficult for myself because I was affected by the emotions I saw in Marius' eyes.

*****

Marius stayed at the house the whole day. In the afternoon, he suggested that we go to the mall. He wanted to take his child shopping. But it seemed like MJ intentionally fell asleep, so in the end, we didn't bring him along.

"I won't agree," Calum firmly refused as he hugged his arms, standing in front of MJ's crib. "The child is sleeping so peacefully, and you want to wake him up? It's better for the two of you to go on a date!" he said.

Calum wasn't raising his voice, so MJ wasn't waking up.

"You could just not leave," I said with a shrug.

Calum quickly registered his protest on his handsome face. "You're so harsh, you know? The guy's been here all day, and you won't even accompany him? Give in if he wants to take your child shopping. At least, even without MJ, you'll be together. I'm sure he'll still feel happy. He'll appreciate it."

"You speak as if you're so sure about everything. Are you Marius' spy or something, knowing exactly what he feels and thinks?"

I sighed. I opened my mouth to speak, but eventually, Calum didn't allow me to speak.

"Accompany Marius, and I'll take care of my godson here," Calum said as he approached me and guided me out of the room.

I didn't object to what Calum wanted. Deep down, I knew that I also liked that idea. But above all, it was his assurance that it would lighten Marius' mood that made me decide to follow his suggestion.