Chapter 53

LEILANI

One month passed. We've moved to a new town weeks ago. And we've settled in.

Nothing like a sweet air of serenity and peace. That is what Jacobville is.

It's a small town in Texas, very peaceful and so beautiful. Everyone knows everyone. Kindhearted people.

I walked to the bathroom of our new home and took out the washcloth. I came back to the living room and started dusting the windows.

I would have done this yesterday but it skipped my mind.

"Where's the woodpile, honey?" I heard Zavier's voice from upstairs.

"It's in the attics. At the back of the door!" I called backed, my voice raised.

I heard movements and knew he'd found it. I smiled, as I resumed dusting the windows.

An old woman who was going to live with her daughter's family sold her house to us. Zavier bought it.

A very beautiful and spacious one-storey building so beautifully decorated, I know it costs a fortune.

When we did house-hunting together, when we were still in Santa Orion, every house on sale in Jacobville wasn't as beautiful as this one. When it come up in the computer screen, I marveled at it's beauty.

"You like it?" He groaned, his eyes had left the screen to my face, one of his arms going around my waist.

I'd imagined us raising our kids in that house...seeing little kids running around and laughing.

"Yes, I love it" I'd said to him.

"We're done. We're getting that one." He'd stated immediately, closing the laptop.

Now, in the last one month, a lot has happened.

We've gotten our marriage license and we've fixed the date for our wedding. Coming up in a few weeks....two weeks to be exact.

The thought of it feels me with so much happiness, my heart becomes overjoyed. In two weeks time, Zavier and I will belong to each other legally.

Nothing will stop us again from being in each other's arms. I miss it so much. Being intimate with him.

Some days it's so hard to keep our hands away from each other. Especially Zavier, some nights he wants nothing more than to make love to me. But in the end, it's still him that stops it,saying it's not yet time.

Months ago, I would never have believed that he could make a decision not to make love to me, and stick by it. But then again, months ago, he never cared about me like a person, just like a woman he has to have sex with.

I signed breathlessly, smiling to myself. How time has changed.

I know for sure that Zavier loves me even though he's never said the words to me. I say it to him everyday, he never says them back but I know with all my heart that he loves me.

His actions speaks so much louder, what his mouth hasn't been able to say. I'm not in a rush, but I wish oneday he'll say the words to me.

In Jacobville, we're at peace. I love the town much and I'm happy. But lately, nervousness and panic sets in at every turn.

Especially now that I finally made the decision to tell Zavier about our child.

He's read all about them but whenever I ask him about children, he'll respond. "I don't think I want them, doll."

Those words break my heart all the time and it's the reason I haven't revealed my pregnancy to him yet. As heartbreaking as those words are, I grab onto hope too.

He always says he doesn't think he wants them, not that he doesn't want them. Just mixed feelings and Indecisions because of who he is.

He's not ready, but I have no choice anymore. Time is running out.

I'm almost four months pregnant and my body is starting a visible change already. My belle has hardened, no longer as soft and there's a slight bump to it.

Zavier is a very observant person, but he hasn't noticed the physical changes because he hasn't been seeing me naked, and we haven't been making love, but we sleep together.

But even at that, I fear that if he'll find out on his own very soon enough if I don't tell him because he has read, researched and studied all about it like he promised he would.

I don't want Zavier to find out on his own because I know it'll hurt him, and he'll think that I never wanted to tell him, when that has never been the case.

I've been waiting for the right time because I know it'll kill me if I give him the news and he doesn't like it but he's forced to adapt anyway.

I don't want him to adapt, I want him to really love my pregnancy and be happy about it.

I know Zavier might be able to 'accomodate' our child because he loves me, but I don't want that. What if something happens to me tomorrow?

Now, I don't really have the choice anymore, I can't not tell him now, I thought at the very last.

I finished dusting the window and took a deep breath. It'll kill me if I tell him about our baby and he doesn't like it. Just the thought of it has my chest burning.

A small knock came on the door.

"Who's there?" I asked, shifting the big chair back to where it used to be.

"It's me, Aunty Lani!" Came the familiar little voice of Romeo.

A radiant smile transformed my face, I dropped the washcloth and walked to the door, throwing it open.

The four-year-old little boy ran into the house and threw his arms around my waist as usual. "Aunt Lani!"

"Romeo, how are you doing today,baby?" I patted his curly hair.

He pulled back and stared up at me. "I'm fine, Aunt Lani."

"Where's Romeria?" I asked about his twin sister.

"She'll eating. Will come soon too! Where's him?" He asked wide-eyed.

I know by 'him', the little boy meant Zavier. Romeo and Romeria are the first friends we have here in Texas.

The four-year-old twins knocked on our door and visited on the third day we moved in. Since then, they'd been coming around. I later knew that they lived next door, and I got to know their parents too.

"He's upstairs in the attics." I replied the boy with a grin, patting his rosy cheeks.

He took off in a run towards the stairs. Stopped and came back to me. "My candy?" He stretched out his little hand.

I walked to the table, withdrew one candy from it's packet and handed it to Romeo. "Here you go, baby."

"Thanks, Aunt Lani!" He took the stairs and disappeared.

I stared after him with a smile on my face. I don't know why he and his twin sister always visits on everyday but I love their visits. Romeo always goes for Zavier and Romeria always follows me around.

I shook my head, and picked up the washcloth again.

ZAVIER [Zero]

I held the window and carefully placed it well in again. All done.

I got up and stared at it. Looks damn better. The old windows are all replaced and the carpet changed.

I have to go into town and get groceries in two hours. I stretched myself and walked out of the attics, only to run into Romeo.

He hugged my legs, "Uncle!" He screamed, his little arms tightening.

I stared at his curly mass and gently, untangled him from my legs. "How you doing today, little boy?" I groaned.

"I'm fine, I'm fine! Aunt Lani said I'll find you here." His tiny voice followed me out of the room to my own room.

He went straight to the bed and lowered himself on it. He watched me as usual.

At first I did my best to push the boy away. I was really uncomfortable around the little boy, but damn if Romeo wasn't a persistent little thing.

The boy follows me around everywhere and does somethings I do. At a point, I found his company....a tolerable one.

He asks so many questions, I try to answer and he also tells a lot of stories. His twin sister is more of Lani's shadow,and I've always wondered why the little kids favored Lani and I.

"I need to go buy groceries." I informed Romeo as I put on my clothes.

He clapped his little hands excitedly. "Can I follow?"

I spared the boy a glance. No matter how I pushed him away, he always stuck with me. Not that I'll ever admit it out loud but I've come to care for the little boy too. Some times, I even look forward his company.

Weird, but it is what it is.

"I guess you can follow if your parents don't mind." I grunted and headed for the door.

"They won't mind!" He ran closer and slipped his little hand into mine.

I stopped and stared at his hand in mine, then at his face. He grinned up at me looking so adorable. Then, I began walking again.

I've been thinking of kids a lot these days. And lately, when I think of a boy, I no longer see myself when I was a boy....I see Romeo.

Adorable little Romeo.

I came downstairs to see Romeria carrying flowers around the house with Lani. I stopped for a second and stared at them.

Lani said something and the little girl giggled, her little hand patting the rose flower on the table. Lani's smile was so radiant too as she stared at the girl.

I felt a pang in my chest at the sight.

Romeo's hand tightened on mine, drawing my attention to him. I stared at him and his rosy cheeks stretched into a huge smile.

The pang in my chest only intensified.

.

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