Ache

Even though I was weirded out with what happened to the forest between Silvana and the guy that he called Asmo.

I still went to the forest, hoping to see Silvana but she was not there.

I don't want to risk looking for him in the forest because I'm not familiar with the forest, what will happen later.

"Hey are you okay?" Alta said.

I nodded.

Currently we are at the park where we used to hang out after school.

I still remembered how often we were here in the park. Just like Adra was drunk and injured when we brought him home with...

Fuck shit.

My head hurt again because of the memory.

What?

What did I just remember?

Alta is injured…

We are here in the park, he is resting.

Or is she sleeping? Did she faint?

And who is with us?

Who is with me to bring him home Kila Tito? And why is he injured?

Is all of this an illusion or what?

Maybe it's just my imagination and made up by my brain? Am I going crazy?

"It's like you're thinking deep!" She said,

"Not really, it's just that I met a friend here."

"Huh?" Alta's eyes widened at what I said.

I frowned at him.

Why does she look so surprised? Is it surprising that I made a new friend?

Am I not supposed to have new friends now? How can I ever do that? Are they expecting me to only have them as friends? Not that I'm complaining but it's just that, they ditched me, left me here alone. I came here to visit and be with them, not for them to leave me alone without any company. I'm already lost with my life, with my own thoughts, and they are not there with me.

"W-what do you mean Adra? New friend? Is it a boy? Or a girl? How tall? Where did you meet him? What do you remember? What happened?" She asked continuously.

What is wrong with her? Why does Alta seem so surprised? I don't think that this should be a big deal.

"Wait, calm down Alta. What did you say? Then why do you have so many questions? Why are you so worried about me meeting someone here? Meeting someone new? What is wrong with that? And why does it need to be specific with the height and gender? What is going on with you? And why do you act so surprised about it?" I asked her.

I saw her panicked, searching for something to say.

"Huh? N-nothing it's just that… I'm very happy that you found a new friend Adra. Can I meet your new friend?" She asked.

"What? You want to meet her."

She sighed. "Thank goodness, it's her."

"What? Why… Why are you acting so weird lately Alta? I don't understand you… I don't understand everyone around me. All of you are doing something weird like you are very cautious about something that I don't know You blurt out things then you take it back. Whatever you say, you take it back like you are hiding something from me. I don't know what is going on anymore. If mom is giving me a lot of restrictions, here I get a lot of confusion. What is going on?" I asked her.

I looked at her.

Ever since I got here, she's been so distant. Maybe mom is right. Maybe it's right that I don't come back here because it won't do me any good.

I was just confused by what was happening around me.

First is with Silvana, next is the mysterious guy, Asmo. And now with Alta.

"Ouch!" I screamed in pain as my head ached, more painful this time.

And this stupid headache! What the fuck is wrong with me?

Even I am confused myself!

"O-are you okay Adra?" he asked.

"No I'm not, Alta. I'm a mess. I'm a mess with what's happening around me. No... I don't know what's going on. Who am I anymore? I feel like I lost myself for the last few years and I wanted to come here to help me find myself but I'm more confused. I didn't only lose myself but I lost you guys. I lost you. I don't know if you still see me as a friend anymore because you are hiding something from me and even though you deny it I know that you do. I don't know what it is but I don't care anymore because you just proved to me that the ring you are keeping from me is more precious than our friendship."

I said. I face palm. It was wrong for me to come back. I should have listened to Mom. This wouldn't happen if I only listened to Mom.

"That is not true, Adra. You didn't lose me. It's just that… you are safer this way. Not knowing things."

"You are lying to me Alta. This is enough." I said as I stood up and walked away.

I left the park. While I was walking to our old house, I met Asmo.

I stopped walking.

His eyes widened when he saw me but it changed back to his usual serious face.

What is with him?

I frowned at him.

He was about to pass me. I didn't let it pass.

"W-where is Silvana?" I asked him.

"She is busy."

I didn't expect him to answer but damn, his voice is deep.

I noticed it just now.

Shut it, Adra. You need to focus!

Find out what the people around me are hiding.

"O-okay." I said. I watched him walk away from me.

That night I didn't sleep. I sneak out of Alessandro's house just to go to the forest, looking around but no one is there. I stayed inside our old house and Alessandro didn't like what I did. He said it wasn't safe for me to sleep there anymore. Our house is damaged and open, my life is at risk but I don't know why I'm not scared about it.

I feel safe in my own home. Near the forest.

Even though Alessandro got angry with me, his crush on me didn't last long. He said sorry and asked for my forgiveness because he couldn't be there for me, he knew that he should be with me spending time but he is busy.

And I told him that it was fine.

I went back to our old house several times and I always met Asmo. I wanted to talk to him but our eyes always met. I can see the longing on his eyes when he looked at me.

But what is he longing for?

It is impossible that he is longing for me.

That is crazy, why would he long for me? He doesn't even know me!

Fuck shit, Adra. The forest is making you crazy.

Even though I feel like I'm being watched whenever I go to our old house. I don't feel creeped out by it.

We almost talked a bit longer but Asmo cut off the conversation so I had nothing to do but say goodbye and hoped I would see him again, and talk to him longer every time.

There's something about him that pulls me in so I won't stop. I would never stop. There is something about him. He might be the key to the truth that I've been looking for. The thing is, I don't even know what I am looking for.

What exactly am I looking for? What exactly is the truth I'm looking for?

Fuck shit.

I'm not even sure about it.

I'm always going to the same spot in the forest. I was hanging out with Silvana and I always looked for Asmodeus until he talked to me.

Silvana appeared and we started talking again. I found out that his full name is Asmodeus. His name sounds good in my lips.

I wonder why that is?

Maybe because he is hot and handsome?

Even Silvana teases me about her. I told her to stop doing it or Asmo will ask her to leave me alone again. I don't want that happening anymore. I just want something I can be friends with, that is not keeping a secret for me. Not lying to me. I want someone to help me find myself.

"Amo?" I asked as I saw him inside our old abandoned house.

"You are here."

"Of course I'm here. This is our old house. What are you doing here?"

A ghost of a smile formed on his lips.

"Hmm?" I murmured.

"What's that?" I asked.

"What is what?" He asked.

"You smiled." I pointed out.

His face became serious again when I noticed.

Fuck shit. He is even more handsome when he smiles.

He smiled! I saw it!

"I didn't."

"I knew you smiled, why are you hiding it. You look happier when you smile—" I cut myself off when I realized what I just said.

He chuckled.

"See?" I said and smiled.

He stared at me as we both laughed.

"I can't believe you came back," he said.

My heart beat faster when he said that. My heart was beating so fast that it tightened and I couldn't breathe properly.

His eyes went down on my chest. Does he know that my chest is pumping and beating so much because of him?

Fuck shit. What is wrong with me?

My knees suddenly went weak when he looked back into my eyes. It slowly approached me. I can't help but stand right where I was waiting for him to come to me.

His arms caged around me. He hugged me tightly in his arms. For a second I feel like I belong...

Why do I feel like I belong to be in his arms?

I hugged him back even though I was taken back by what he did. His cold body pressed against my warm body. My heart is beating so fast because of him.

He pulled away and looked me in the eyes. His eyes tearing up.

"I'm happy you're back, Adra."

Before I could even ask him, he left. Instantly disappear. Out of the thin air.

It was so confusing! He is always doing that! Why is he doing that?

He appeared and then he was gone!

What is he saying that he is happy to see me come back?

Come back to El Colmillos? Or to our old house? And how did he know about our old house? Is he just from here? Is there a new House here that I don't know about?

In the past few years, there have probably been other Houses here besides ours.

But he knew me...

He knew who I was...

He knew my name.

Well, probably Silvana said my name to him.

*******

After what happened, I kept going back to our old house. It wasn't until Mom found out what happened that I returned to El Colmillos.

I want to explain to her but I know she won't listen to me. I let Alessandro handle it. I'm sure she wants me to go back to Manila but I won't let that happen.

I want to stay here.

I want to stay in El Colmillos. I don't belong in the city, typing in front of the laptop, my eyes on the screen all the time. I don't want to live a life like that.

Because I want to go back and remember who I really was before because even though I still know it's like I'm missing something...

There is something missing, there is a gap between my memories, I'm not sure but that is what I felt.

Unless I'm wrong, but I trust my intuition this time.

I've been avoiding the feeling for years and I won't avoid this now.

That is why I'm rediscovering my skills and talent.

I went to the mall and bought painting tools, canvas and equipment.

Even though I'm on leave for work I still have my paid leave. That's why I have money to buy a lot of things. I think I spent a little too much.

Because I can't carry all that to our old house.

I stopped walking when Asmo and I met again.

He looked down at what I was carrying. I almost don't have to drink because of the amount I bought.

I smiled at him.

"Here, let me help you." He said as he helped me with all of the painting tolls that I bought.

"Where do you plan to paint?" He asked.

I wasn't prepared for a conversation with him after what happened but I can't help but smile.

He is talking to me...

"Uh…"

"I-I don't know. Maybe in our old house but I'm not sure if there's anything good to paint there. I'm not even sure if I will get inspiration there." I said.

He stopped walking, that made me stop waking as well. I looked back at him.

"Underwater falls." He said.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Have you seen underwater falls?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"Is that what Silvana is supposed to take me?" I asked.

"He can't take you there, only I can."

"Really?" I asked.

He nodded.

"And you, if you remember it."

"Huh?" My brows furrowed.

"If you remember how Silvana showed you."