Chapter 46 1 Has Been Deceiving Me
·
Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou
He Yu was indeed crazy.
Many days have passed since the night of horror, and he has already been discharged from the hospital, but he didn't tell anyone, and he didn't go back to the main house.
Now everyone is disgusting and hypocritical in his eyes.He owns a flat in a certain new development in downtown Shanghai, and he didn't go there much after getting the key. At this moment, he chose to live there alone.
When he first saw those videos of Xie Qingcheng, he was very shocked, but after waking up, he was not reconciled.
When he calmed down in the hospital, he wondered if he might have misunderstood.
Could it be that the criminal gang had ulterior motives, and Xie Qingcheng's past was taken out of context.Xie Qingcheng is not such a person.
With such anticipation and last hope, he returned home—he wanted to confirm it himself, and he didn't want to be disturbed by anyone.
However, what he didn't expect was that the things that were revealed were far more cruel than the tip of the iceberg he saw on the video.
The truth is terrible.
The deeper he investigated, the sicker he became.
On the table were medicines to control the condition. After taking a few pills, he never touched them again.
Because it doesn't work at all.
The results of his own investigation made his inner world collapse even more, and it was no longer something that could be controlled by some pills.Moss grew on his heart, and his senses were numb. He wanted to kill and devour blood, and morality and law suddenly became unworthy of mentioning in his eyes.
That’s right, life is nothing at the time of the onset of mental Ebola. If a person is not afraid of death, what social rules of the game will he be afraid of?
He Yu was sitting on the black armrest sofa, his cell phone rang many times, it was a message from Xie Qingcheng, but he neither answered nor read it.
He just raised his eyes and looked at the entire white wall in front of him.
The floor height is more than five meters, and the walls are as wide as a huge screen in a movie theater.
At this moment, thousands of chat records were densely projected on the wall.
——This is Xie Qingcheng’s private sending and receiving of all the traces that can be recovered from the cloud traces through black technology in the past many years.
Information related to He Yu.
He Yu is a top hacker, he has always had this abnormal ability, but having the ability does not necessarily mean that he will actually do certain things, just like there are many people in this society who are capable of killing people, but a few of them will become real hackers. murderer?There is a clear boundary in He Yu's heart, and he has never crossed that boundary before.
But once you pry open the dusty door and step inside, you can see what it's like inside.
He looked blood cold.
Although the time interval is too long and the news recovery is incomplete, the information that can be obtained is sufficient.
Starting from the earliest recoverable content, he saw that his father offered Xie Qingcheng a high price and invited him to see a doctor for him, but Xie Qingcheng was not so willing at first, and said that case No. 3 had died and was dying. Formerly, he had a serious tendency to violent attacks. Although he sympathized with He Yu's experience, he really didn't want to waste his time on long-term entanglements with mental Ebola patients.
"Taking care of this kind of patients has no results, and it doesn't make much sense. I want to use this time to do some more worthwhile topics."
He Jiwei sent him a message: "He Yu is different. He is still too young, and he will definitely not go the same way as Case No. [-]. I know that mental Ebola will not be without any pain for you. Attractiveness, Dr. Xie, please look at my previous friendship with you, come to our house at least once to talk. See my son. "
"Mr. He, I have other important things to do, and I don't agree with the companionship therapy that other doctors told you. Maintaining a long-term relationship with a doctor will make the patient feel dependent, and the treatment will be forcibly terminated at that time. , just like drug withdrawal, it is more likely to affect the patient's emotional rebound."
He Jiwei: "But I have no other choice. I can only try this way."
"..."
"Doctor Xie, for my sake, please at least see him once, okay?"
It was so difficult when I came, and I begged thousands of times.
What about the day you leave?
On the day of resignation——
He Jiwei: "Doctor Xie, you still decide to end this job."
"Yes."
"Beyond the contract, after all, there are still favors. You have always been very kind to He Yu, and sometimes even quarreled with me because of him..."
"I would have the same attitude as anyone else. Because this is what I should do with the money."
"But He Yu is already dependent on you, you should know that."
"I have told Mr. He from the very beginning that long-term companionship treatment will have such an impact on patients. This is actually what we expected."
He Jiwei: "Doctor Xie, you are different to him..."
Xie Qingcheng: "But to me, he is the same as all patients."
"There is no difference."
The conversation isn't over yet.
He Jiwei said: "Xie Qingcheng, if you insist on leaving, I can't force you to stay, but even if the contract is terminated early, we originally agreed on ten years. Some remuneration, I promised you, cannot be fully honored."
Xie Qingcheng: "It's okay, I don't care."
Having said all this, He Jiwei understood that it was useless to talk to Xie Qingcheng.
After being silent for a long time, his message became: "...Then think about how to tell him, you left too suddenly, you have to find a way to make him accept it as soon as possible."
Xie Qing replied simply: "If Mr. He has no objection, I plan to tell him that the original contract period is seven years, so that he will feel more comfortable. But we also need your cooperation."
"..."
"Xie Qingcheng, is there really no room for negotiation on this matter? Qin Ciyan's matter has hit you so hard, do you have to be so desperate?"
"Mr. He, there is nothing absolute, this is a job."
"I couldn't, and never have, with more emotion."
"I have to resign."
"Can't wait for the contract to expire?"
"No."
"...Xie Qingcheng, your heart is really colder than I imagined."
"That was the whitest lie ever told him."
The city lights outside the window were flickering, and the huge billboards were constantly changing. The light reflected in He Yu's living room was flowing, like sparkling water waves, washing away tens of thousands of messages projected on the wall.
The running water took away the lead, He Yu seemed to have seen Xie Qingcheng's face clearly today.
His patience, equality, and acceptance of him are all fake.
It's based on the scriptures, it's false and submissive, it's just talking on paper, coaxing him to lie to him.
Even the contract period mentioned at parting was not true.
He really believed it then.
I believed Xie Qingcheng and it was time, so I decided to leave.
Is the truth so...
ten years.
Originally, Xie Qingcheng was supposed to stay with him until he graduated from high school.
But after Qin Ciyan's incident, Xie Qingcheng would rather cut his salary than resolutely leave him.
How scared is he?
He deceived himself together with He Jiwei, but he was still so calm and composed, speaking the truth with certainty, telling himself that this was a normal parting of a relationship.
The reasoning is all from Xie Qingcheng, but he is like an ignorant, unreasonable buffoon.
Too stupid……
all fake.
fake! !
Xie Qingcheng's words that once supported him, gave him strength in the pain of his illness, and made him struggle to guard his heart are indeed just words spoken by a psychiatrist to a patient.
It's like a surgeon saying to a terminal cancer patient: "If you persevere, there will be hope."
In fact, the doctor knew in his heart that there was no hope.
It seems like the police are trying to persuade young people who want to commit suicide: "You are not ugly! Why do you think so? Everyone is unique, and there will always be someone who likes you. Come down quickly and give me your hand!"
But did the police really fail to see the ugly face and fat body of the boy who committed suicide?
That was just the most vain consolation.
Xie Qingcheng's medical concept, the concept that led him to the society, had given him inner support for ten years. Even if Xie Qingcheng chose to leave in the end, He Yu did not hold any resentment towards him.
He tried his best to understand what Xie Qingcheng said, and what Xie Qingcheng called, the end of the relationship between normal people and normal people.
He finally reconciled with Xie Qingcheng's choice and reconciled with himself.
But unexpectedly, none of these were Xie Qingcheng's sincere words.
Just a doctor's treatment, some pretty words.
Even the length of the contract he told himself was fabricated.
He couldn't help thinking of when Xie Qingcheng and himself were eating in the cafeteria, they met a gay couple. At that time, they were both very uncomfortable and got up to change places.
He was a little surprised, and asked Xie Qingcheng, aren't you a doctor, why can't you stand it?
But Xie Qingcheng told him at that time that medical concepts and personal ideas are two separate things.
As a doctor, he really believes that homosexuality has no psychological problems, but as Xie Qingcheng personally, he cannot accept this kind of same-sex relationship emotionally.
So now He Yu can see clearly.
As a doctor, Xie Qingcheng is willing to lead him to the society and treat him as a normal person.
But as Xie Qingcheng, he didn't establish any relationship with him, not only did he stay away from him - He Yu couldn't help but recall that Xie Qingcheng once asked Xie Xue to stay away from him.
Xie Qingcheng was scared, and he ran away. He would rather not have more rewards, and let him and his relatives distance themselves from him...
He Yu leaned on the armrest sofa, watching everything in front of him with his face propped up.
He smiled slowly, his lips were thin, and when viewed from the side, the curved lines were a little strange.
"You doctor, are you so hypocritical?"
He whispered softly, whispering to the empty white wall in front of him.
The wound on the shoulder was still wrapped with a bandage, blood was oozing, and there was a dull pain, like snake venom spreading along the scar to the fingertips and heart.
"You have such a human skin... Xie Qingcheng."
At this moment, He Yu felt that what he did before was like a joke, what was restraining his heart, what was getting rid of the control of the disease.
Over the years, what has he been working hard for, what is he obsessed with, and what is he believing in?
He slowly closed his eyes. Apart from the gunshot wound on his shoulder, the scar on his wrist also seemed to be aching.
He thought, how could Xie Qingcheng be so hypocritical.A pair of hands covered his eyes, making him follow for so long ignorantly.
He told him that being sick is not scary.
He told him that if you are in pain, you can cry out for pain, you can ask for candy, and no one will laugh at him.
He opened his hard heart word by word. He thought that what Xie Qingcheng stretched out to him was a pair of warm hands, but it turned out that it was just a cold knife.
He Yu protected himself very well, but Xie Qingcheng's knife went deep into his heart.
It's so sad.
He Yu has lived for 19 years, wearing a perfectly fitted mask, never telling the truth to others, and never getting too sincere words from others.
During these 19 years of illness, only Xie Qingcheng had asked him——
"Aren't you in pain?"
don't you hurt...
He Yu slowly stood up from the armrest sofa, raised his hand, and pressed it on his heart.
He looked at the overwhelming cold information in front of him, like a heart-piercing snowstorm blowing head-on, he lowered his head, bowed his body, and smiled slowly...
It's really interesting, he actually seemed to really feel the terrible pain.
Is this pain?
With deceit, with futile effort, with his stupidity and loneliness.
If so, he would rather remain numb forever. What's wrong with being a grass?Why should you be punished by lies?
He read page by page, sheet by sheet, line by line, word by word, every word was like a knife cutting his heart.He originally thought that his heart had a thick callus, but at this moment, it hurts like it doesn't even belong to him...it doesn't belong to him...
He Yu raised his hand and touched his forehead. His fingertips were cold, and his limbs were numb. He knew enough. He suddenly got up, and almost violently swept away everything on the coffee table in front of him.
The fragments smashed to the ground!
He was panting, he wanted to find the projection remote control, he lifted it up, he wanted to close this Pandora's box——! !
however……
At this moment, he saw a message belonging to Xie Xue among these nebula-like messages.
Sent six years ago.
On his birthday.
"Brother, Aunt Li is sick. I'm hanging the water with her. When will you come back from a business trip? The procedures in the hospital are messy, and my head is getting dizzy. If only you were here..."
When He Yu saw this news at first, he just felt his head was slightly pulled by something, like a moth landed on a spider's web, and he didn't react at first.
But after a few seconds, he suddenly raised his head and looked at the message in disbelief. The moth stuck to the spider web began to struggle and flutter crazily, the wings fluttered and the phosphorous powder fell, fanning the mountain roar and tsunami in his memory——
six years ago?
his birthday?
That day...
Wasn't Xie Xue with him that day? ! !
Many days have passed since the night of horror, and he has already been discharged from the hospital, but he didn't tell anyone, and he didn't go back to the main house.
Now everyone is disgusting and hypocritical in his eyes.He owns a flat in a certain new development in downtown Shanghai, and he didn't go there much after getting the key. At this moment, he chose to live there alone.
When he first saw those videos of Xie Qingcheng, he was very shocked, but after waking up, he was not reconciled.
When he calmed down in the hospital, he wondered if he might have misunderstood.
Could it be that the criminal gang had ulterior motives, and Xie Qingcheng's past was taken out of context.Xie Qingcheng is not such a person.
With such anticipation and last hope, he returned home—he wanted to confirm it himself, and he didn't want to be disturbed by anyone.
However, what he didn't expect was that the things that were revealed were far more cruel than the tip of the iceberg he saw on the video.
The truth is terrible.
The deeper he investigated, the sicker he became.
On the table were medicines to control the condition. After taking a few pills, he never touched them again.
Because it doesn't work at all.
The results of his own investigation made his inner world collapse even more, and it was no longer something that could be controlled by some pills.Moss grew on his heart, and his senses were numb. He wanted to kill and devour blood, and morality and law suddenly became unworthy of mentioning in his eyes.
That’s right, life is nothing at the time of the onset of mental Ebola. If a person is not afraid of death, what social rules of the game will he be afraid of?
He Yu was sitting on the black armrest sofa, his cell phone rang many times, it was a message from Xie Qingcheng, but he neither answered nor read it.
He just raised his eyes and looked at the entire white wall in front of him.
The floor height is more than five meters, and the walls are as wide as a huge screen in a movie theater.
At this moment, thousands of chat records were densely projected on the wall.
——This is Xie Qingcheng’s private sending and receiving of all the traces that can be recovered from the cloud traces through black technology in the past many years.
Information related to He Yu.
He Yu is a top hacker, he has always had this abnormal ability, but having the ability does not necessarily mean that he will actually do certain things, just like there are many people in this society who are capable of killing people, but a few of them will become real hackers. murderer?There is a clear boundary in He Yu's heart, and he has never crossed that boundary before.
But once you pry open the dusty door and step inside, you can see what it's like inside.
He looked blood cold.
Although the time interval is too long and the news recovery is incomplete, the information that can be obtained is sufficient.
Starting from the earliest recoverable content, he saw that his father offered Xie Qingcheng a high price and invited him to see a doctor for him, but Xie Qingcheng was not so willing at first, and said that case No. 3 had died and was dying. Formerly, he had a serious tendency to violent attacks. Although he sympathized with He Yu's experience, he really didn't want to waste his time on long-term entanglements with mental Ebola patients.
"Taking care of this kind of patients has no results, and it doesn't make much sense. I want to use this time to do some more worthwhile topics."
He Jiwei sent him a message: "He Yu is different. He is still too young, and he will definitely not go the same way as Case No. [-]. I know that mental Ebola will not be without any pain for you. Attractiveness, Dr. Xie, please look at my previous friendship with you, come to our house at least once to talk. See my son. "
"Mr. He, I have other important things to do, and I don't agree with the companionship therapy that other doctors told you. Maintaining a long-term relationship with a doctor will make the patient feel dependent, and the treatment will be forcibly terminated at that time. , just like drug withdrawal, it is more likely to affect the patient's emotional rebound."
He Jiwei: "But I have no other choice. I can only try this way."
"..."
"Doctor Xie, for my sake, please at least see him once, okay?"
It was so difficult when I came, and I begged thousands of times.
What about the day you leave?
On the day of resignation——
He Jiwei: "Doctor Xie, you still decide to end this job."
"Yes."
"Beyond the contract, after all, there are still favors. You have always been very kind to He Yu, and sometimes even quarreled with me because of him..."
"I would have the same attitude as anyone else. Because this is what I should do with the money."
"But He Yu is already dependent on you, you should know that."
"I have told Mr. He from the very beginning that long-term companionship treatment will have such an impact on patients. This is actually what we expected."
He Jiwei: "Doctor Xie, you are different to him..."
Xie Qingcheng: "But to me, he is the same as all patients."
"There is no difference."
The conversation isn't over yet.
He Jiwei said: "Xie Qingcheng, if you insist on leaving, I can't force you to stay, but even if the contract is terminated early, we originally agreed on ten years. Some remuneration, I promised you, cannot be fully honored."
Xie Qingcheng: "It's okay, I don't care."
Having said all this, He Jiwei understood that it was useless to talk to Xie Qingcheng.
After being silent for a long time, his message became: "...Then think about how to tell him, you left too suddenly, you have to find a way to make him accept it as soon as possible."
Xie Qing replied simply: "If Mr. He has no objection, I plan to tell him that the original contract period is seven years, so that he will feel more comfortable. But we also need your cooperation."
"..."
"Xie Qingcheng, is there really no room for negotiation on this matter? Qin Ciyan's matter has hit you so hard, do you have to be so desperate?"
"Mr. He, there is nothing absolute, this is a job."
"I couldn't, and never have, with more emotion."
"I have to resign."
"Can't wait for the contract to expire?"
"No."
"...Xie Qingcheng, your heart is really colder than I imagined."
"That was the whitest lie ever told him."
The city lights outside the window were flickering, and the huge billboards were constantly changing. The light reflected in He Yu's living room was flowing, like sparkling water waves, washing away tens of thousands of messages projected on the wall.
The running water took away the lead, He Yu seemed to have seen Xie Qingcheng's face clearly today.
His patience, equality, and acceptance of him are all fake.
It's based on the scriptures, it's false and submissive, it's just talking on paper, coaxing him to lie to him.
Even the contract period mentioned at parting was not true.
He really believed it then.
I believed Xie Qingcheng and it was time, so I decided to leave.
Is the truth so...
ten years.
Originally, Xie Qingcheng was supposed to stay with him until he graduated from high school.
But after Qin Ciyan's incident, Xie Qingcheng would rather cut his salary than resolutely leave him.
How scared is he?
He deceived himself together with He Jiwei, but he was still so calm and composed, speaking the truth with certainty, telling himself that this was a normal parting of a relationship.
The reasoning is all from Xie Qingcheng, but he is like an ignorant, unreasonable buffoon.
Too stupid……
all fake.
fake! !
Xie Qingcheng's words that once supported him, gave him strength in the pain of his illness, and made him struggle to guard his heart are indeed just words spoken by a psychiatrist to a patient.
It's like a surgeon saying to a terminal cancer patient: "If you persevere, there will be hope."
In fact, the doctor knew in his heart that there was no hope.
It seems like the police are trying to persuade young people who want to commit suicide: "You are not ugly! Why do you think so? Everyone is unique, and there will always be someone who likes you. Come down quickly and give me your hand!"
But did the police really fail to see the ugly face and fat body of the boy who committed suicide?
That was just the most vain consolation.
Xie Qingcheng's medical concept, the concept that led him to the society, had given him inner support for ten years. Even if Xie Qingcheng chose to leave in the end, He Yu did not hold any resentment towards him.
He tried his best to understand what Xie Qingcheng said, and what Xie Qingcheng called, the end of the relationship between normal people and normal people.
He finally reconciled with Xie Qingcheng's choice and reconciled with himself.
But unexpectedly, none of these were Xie Qingcheng's sincere words.
Just a doctor's treatment, some pretty words.
Even the length of the contract he told himself was fabricated.
He couldn't help thinking of when Xie Qingcheng and himself were eating in the cafeteria, they met a gay couple. At that time, they were both very uncomfortable and got up to change places.
He was a little surprised, and asked Xie Qingcheng, aren't you a doctor, why can't you stand it?
But Xie Qingcheng told him at that time that medical concepts and personal ideas are two separate things.
As a doctor, he really believes that homosexuality has no psychological problems, but as Xie Qingcheng personally, he cannot accept this kind of same-sex relationship emotionally.
So now He Yu can see clearly.
As a doctor, Xie Qingcheng is willing to lead him to the society and treat him as a normal person.
But as Xie Qingcheng, he didn't establish any relationship with him, not only did he stay away from him - He Yu couldn't help but recall that Xie Qingcheng once asked Xie Xue to stay away from him.
Xie Qingcheng was scared, and he ran away. He would rather not have more rewards, and let him and his relatives distance themselves from him...
He Yu leaned on the armrest sofa, watching everything in front of him with his face propped up.
He smiled slowly, his lips were thin, and when viewed from the side, the curved lines were a little strange.
"You doctor, are you so hypocritical?"
He whispered softly, whispering to the empty white wall in front of him.
The wound on the shoulder was still wrapped with a bandage, blood was oozing, and there was a dull pain, like snake venom spreading along the scar to the fingertips and heart.
"You have such a human skin... Xie Qingcheng."
At this moment, He Yu felt that what he did before was like a joke, what was restraining his heart, what was getting rid of the control of the disease.
Over the years, what has he been working hard for, what is he obsessed with, and what is he believing in?
He slowly closed his eyes. Apart from the gunshot wound on his shoulder, the scar on his wrist also seemed to be aching.
He thought, how could Xie Qingcheng be so hypocritical.A pair of hands covered his eyes, making him follow for so long ignorantly.
He told him that being sick is not scary.
He told him that if you are in pain, you can cry out for pain, you can ask for candy, and no one will laugh at him.
He opened his hard heart word by word. He thought that what Xie Qingcheng stretched out to him was a pair of warm hands, but it turned out that it was just a cold knife.
He Yu protected himself very well, but Xie Qingcheng's knife went deep into his heart.
It's so sad.
He Yu has lived for 19 years, wearing a perfectly fitted mask, never telling the truth to others, and never getting too sincere words from others.
During these 19 years of illness, only Xie Qingcheng had asked him——
"Aren't you in pain?"
don't you hurt...
He Yu slowly stood up from the armrest sofa, raised his hand, and pressed it on his heart.
He looked at the overwhelming cold information in front of him, like a heart-piercing snowstorm blowing head-on, he lowered his head, bowed his body, and smiled slowly...
It's really interesting, he actually seemed to really feel the terrible pain.
Is this pain?
With deceit, with futile effort, with his stupidity and loneliness.
If so, he would rather remain numb forever. What's wrong with being a grass?Why should you be punished by lies?
He read page by page, sheet by sheet, line by line, word by word, every word was like a knife cutting his heart.He originally thought that his heart had a thick callus, but at this moment, it hurts like it doesn't even belong to him...it doesn't belong to him...
He Yu raised his hand and touched his forehead. His fingertips were cold, and his limbs were numb. He knew enough. He suddenly got up, and almost violently swept away everything on the coffee table in front of him.
The fragments smashed to the ground!
He was panting, he wanted to find the projection remote control, he lifted it up, he wanted to close this Pandora's box——! !
however……
At this moment, he saw a message belonging to Xie Xue among these nebula-like messages.
Sent six years ago.
On his birthday.
"Brother, Aunt Li is sick. I'm hanging the water with her. When will you come back from a business trip? The procedures in the hospital are messy, and my head is getting dizzy. If only you were here..."
When He Yu saw this news at first, he just felt his head was slightly pulled by something, like a moth landed on a spider's web, and he didn't react at first.
But after a few seconds, he suddenly raised his head and looked at the message in disbelief. The moth stuck to the spider web began to struggle and flutter crazily, the wings fluttered and the phosphorous powder fell, fanning the mountain roar and tsunami in his memory——
six years ago?
his birthday?
That day...
Wasn't Xie Xue with him that day? ! !
