39. Sinful Book 2

ANTONIO'S POV

I watched as Sewa laid unconscious on the hospital bed, looking very peaceful but at the same time very fierce; she had a few cuts on her face, but she still looked very beautiful. Tears came to my eyes as I watched her; all this was my fault. Everything had been my fault from the beginning, if I had just listened to her when she warned me about Samantha, we wouldn't have been here. I let my eyes run over the length of her body, stopping at her stomach. I placed my hand over her stomach, letting the tears flow freely from my eyes.

I had been too busy crying my eyes out while letting Sewa go through a worse pain. I had no idea pain could make a person deaf and blind. I had been sitting there, but I couldn't make out what was happening, I couldn't move; not until I heard Diego crying and tugging at my shirt that I came back to earth and saw what Samantha was doing to her. I was so angry that I pushed her away using my fist.

Luckily, the police entered the house right that time. I had tried my best to explain what was going on, but no audible words left my mouth. My eyes were trained on Sewa, as she laid there unconscious, her body curved like she was trying to save her stomach from getting hit. Seeing her there on the floor, lifeless did a lot of things to me I didn't know were possible.

Thankfully, Aaliyah and Larry came rushing down with Diego's luggage; they didn't know how or why Sewa was on the ground, but they explained every other thing to them, telling them that Samantha tried to kill Diego and she probably tried to kill Samantha.

"Samantha will be spending a very long time in jail," I rubbed Samantha's stomach. I remember feeling lost thinking I had lost Samantha and the child she was carrying, I thought about how much that would break her, and knowing part of it was my fault didn't sit well with me. I had cried and called for all the doctors available to check on her to make sure she and the baby were okay. Fortunately, the baby was fine, but Sewa wasn't; she had gone through shock and pain and her body was giving out.

"Please come back to me, Cara, come back to me my love. Diego needs you, our unborn child needs you, I need you even more," I held her lifeless hands, bringing it to my forehead as I whispered, hoping that she could hear me. It had been two days since the incident, and Sewa was yet to wake up; the doctors said she just needed to rest, but she wasn't resting, she was in a fucking coma, and I put her in it. Tears spilled from my eyes at the thought.

I had hurt Sewa when I didn't intend to. I was scared, scared that I would fail as a father, that I would turn out like my father did, what I didn't realize was that in my efforts to be different from him, I became him and even worse. I had taken a vow never to have kids because my father was horrible to me, and to my first kid.

I was eighteen, fresh out of high school, when I met this girl, Lia, she was pretty and the most famous girl in our rival school. I met her at a party and we had sex without protection. At the time, I was a stupid boy who thought he had everything under control, and I could handle anything, but I was wrong. Kia came a month later telling me she was pregnant with my child, I was scared at first, but I embraced her and the child. The mistake I made was taking the good news to my father; I thought he'd understand me and even praise me for taking responsibility, but he didn't .

"Get rid of them," My father didn't look up at me. He had a paper in his hands, and his face was buried in it as he dictated my life.

"You're a foolish boy, you don't know what it takes to be a parent," He added, finally slamming the paper on his study desk as he shot me looks of disdain and disappointment.

"I'm willing to try, father," I was angry and annoyed at him for saying I should get rid of them, and even angrier at myself that I let him tell me what to do.

"No you're not. Get rid of them, or I will," My father spat. I walked out of his study, slamming the door behind me. It felt like hot fumes were gushing out of me as I walked further away from his office, and out of his house.

I didn't talk to my father for weeks, thinking he'd realize his wrong and apologize, but I must've been living in dream land, because my father never apologized, instead, he had a meeting with Lia, a meeting I wasn't invited to, a meeting that discussed the abortion of my child.

My father told Lia to abort the child and come to him instead, and Lia, being the whore she is, accepted my fathers offer and aborted the child without telling me. It was the first time I hit my father, and the first time I hit a woman. I was so angry that I wanted them to die and rot in the hottest parts of hell.

"You're a horrible man. You deserve to die!" I yelled at him, my hands on each side of the collar of the black dress shirt he had on.

"And you are just like me, if you can't see it now, you'll see it in a few years to come," the man smirked, a dark expression hovering over his face.

"I can never be like you. You are horrible," I yelled, but the man laughed, clearly enjoying my outburst.

"The only way you don't turn out like me is if you don't have children," he laughed, then peeled my hands away from his shirt, pushing me backwards. I sat down in that study and cried my eyes out.

I didn't know what I was thinking, going to meet him with my problems. He was a horrible man that didn't care about anything but himself. He didn't want me to become a better father than he was so he made sure he broke me to the extent I vowed never to have kids; that was until I met Sewa.

Yes, I was scared to bring another child into the world when I was still trying to get the hang of being a dad. I didn't want to fail and disappoint Sewa, but my actions and lack of actions did just that, hurt Sewa.

I bowed my head as I held onto Sewa's hands, crying my eyes out for the bad decisions I made while I was being selfish. I cried because Sewa didn't deserve to be hurt, especially by me. I cried because I wanted kids, and a lot of them.

While I was lost in tears, I felt Sewa's finger twitch under mine; I opened my eyes immediately, watching her closely. Her fingers twitched under mine again and then her right index finger touched mine. I jumped up immediately, and ran out to go get the doctor in charge. I couldn't quite keep my excitement in; my woman came back to me.

The doctors rushed to check on her, they ran some tests, and when they finished, they told me she was awake and I could go see her. I was scared and ashamed, but I was happy and overly excited that nothing horrible happened to her.

I walked into the room with my hands behind my back, keeping steady eyes trained on Sewa to know what she was thinking or feeling. She sat upright, looking over her body, the drips and wires all connected to her body in some way. She was scared. She touched her stomach, then her eyes widened as she looked at me, fear evident on her perfect brown orbs. The doctors didn't tell her about the child.

"Antonio, my baby," were the first words Sewa spoke to me, she was tearing up. I rushed to her immediately, hugging her to me, not too tight to crush her, but close enough to let her know that I was there for her.

"Our baby is fine," I let out a breath. Finally holding her like this, it felt real, it felt right, it felt like home. I didn't want to let her go just yet, but she needed air, and she hadn't forgiven me yet.

"This is probably not the best time to say this, but I'm sorry, Sewa, I'm really sorry," I tears spilled from my eyes. I could feel her heart beating aggressively against my body, or was that my heart?

"I love you and I don't want you to ever doubt my love for you. I'm really sorry," I hugged her closer.

Life couldn't get any better than Sewa in my life, being with me, loving me, bearing my kids. I wanted her to be with me for the rest of our lives, whatever the conditions may be, I only needed Sewa to live.