Deny

I thought her words would affect me. For the first time I got so mad at her words. Not with her but with her words. I just thought that people may see it that way. But for me, all I want is for them to pay.

It’s just people would not understand. People will not get it unless we’re in the same shoe. So what if I’ll be evil? Wasn’t I valid to be this way after all the evilness they did to me? Just like in the court, when the victim says he or she did that as self defense and pleaded not guilty. That’s me.

I’m doing this for myself. And the fact that this is a long overdue self defense is something. I suffered for how many years, thinking that this is fine, but it’s not. This is enough. I’ve had enough.

”Sibal,” I called him while he’s driving. I saw him looking at me through the rear view mirror.

”Can you stop by an ice cream store please?” I said without energy left in me.

He nodded and continued driving. Minutes later we stopped through a store not so far from the library. He opened the door for me then as soon as I stepped out I offered my palm, asking for some money. I saw him get stunned and confused by what I did. Which is new because Sibal is always composed and serious.

”Please?” I timidly said.

He blinked and rummaged through his back pocket and got some dollars in his wallet. I accepted the cash and hugged him with no energy still. He stiffened.

”Thank you, Sibal. I’ll tell Aciel to pay you.”

He didn’t say anything. He’s just looking so confused and stunned.

”And stay here.” I added because he’s about to follow me inside.

I got inside the colorful store. Mixture of pastel colors welcomed me as well as the bright staff.

”One ice cream please.” I said with no emotion.

”What flavor ma’am?”

”Any.”

There’s kids inside. Some are with their guardians I think. I’m like a loner kid there. After getting my cone, I occupied the empty table beside the glass wall. I watch the cars pass by and the busy people bump into each other.

I’m still thinking about what Lulu had told me. She has a point. Maybe it’s true, that things are meant to happen if it’s for you. And if we put control on things, it’s more likely to get messed up. But what’s for those lives that’s been messed up all along? Those lives that had nothing to lose anymore? What’s for them? What’s for us?

”Aren’t you too lonely?”

My spacing out stopped because a man suddenly sat in front of me. My lips parted. What’s this? Why is he here?

”Angelo.” he said while eating his cup of ice cream.

I raised a brow. Now, I remember his name. The guy in the construction way back. And the guy who I… Oh shit. I shut my eyes and shook my head. I heard him chuckle.

”Alia right?”

My cheeks are heating up but I managed to nod at him as an answer. I can’t look him straight in the eye.

”Why are you alone?”

”Why are you alone as well?” I asked back. I shut my lips again when I realized that upfront answer of mine.

He smirked and ate a spoonful of his ice cream. “Right, I forgot. You’re straightforward. No words needed.”

I raised a brow because his words seemed to mean something. I narrowed my eyes on him, and I think he felt that because he glanced at me.

He hissed. “Aren’t I supposed to be the one who’s mad here? Supposing the last time and you…”

”Shut up.” I uttered.

He chuckled. I narrowed my eyes more. Why is he here anyways? We are not close.

”… kissed me.” he still continued.

I groaned and rolled my eyes. “Alright. I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean to do that.”

He cock his head on the side. “You didn’t?”

”As if I want to kiss you.”

”Ouch.” he jokingly said.

I smirked and continued to lick my ice cream. He smirked as well while looking at me.

”It’s your fault, for being at that moment.” I said.

”Oh wow.,” he laughed. “I liked it. Thank you very much.” he sarcastically said.

We laughed again. And became silent again. Now that I remember it…

”Why are you on his pad anyways? You know Aciel?” I asked.

He scoops his ice cream with his eyes looking bored. He nodded when he looked at me.

”You’re friends?”

He pursed his lips. “I think so,”

My brows furrowed. “Why is he mad at you then?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know? Try and ask him.” he grinned.

I watched him in front of me. My ice cream is melting because of spacing out. That night, I remember how mad Aciel is. They’re friends but it seems like Aciel doesn’t even give a damn about him. And not to mention he’s not present on the Long Beach.

”How about you? What’s your relationship with him?” he asked.

I’m quite taken back by his question. Every time this question is asked to me, I freak out. Because I don’t know what to say.

”Just… uhm… we’re friends.”

He raised a brow. “Yeah? But the way he acted that night says something else.” he smirked. “Why are you even denying it? For sure he’ll go berserk knowing that her girl is trying to deny him.”

I gulped. But that’s the truth. We’re not in a relationship. What do we have? It’s a plain consent. It’s something that I owe.

”It’s up for you to believe.” I said simply.

He nodded repeatedly.

”Where is he? He’s letting you eat alone here, like a kid?”

I portrayed an emotionless face. I didn’t answer him just because I think he doesn’t need to know.

My phone vibrated. I checked the screen and saw Aciel’s name there.

Aciel:

I told you to tell me where you’re going.

I blinked not knowing what to reply.

”That’s him?” he asked.

I raised a brow. Hr shrugged. “What do you expect? You have an eye.” he pointed outside. I saw Sibal’s hawk eyes staring at us.

Oh Jeez. I forgot.