Messed Up

I can’t contain my excitement the next morning. I woke up early to send Aciel off to work. He questioned why I woke up so early. I’m just curious about the conditions he’s saying.

I quietly listened to him and Sibal talked about some reminders that he gave. It might be not exactly the way I wanted, but at least he let me. He’s true to his words. He’s letting me go out without him but with Sibal. At least, I’m not locked up here.

"Message me when you're going out." he said before leaving.

"But you're busy."

”Just message me. I’ll find time to reply. ”

I nodded. He kissed my forehead before leaving.

After fixing some things in his penthouse I busied myself preparing to leave. I wore simple coordinates. Before telling Sibal we’re going, I message Aciel that I’ll be going to a library. I’m surprised to see Sibal already waiting for me at the foyer. I haven’t even told him that we’re leaving.

"At this address." I gave him the address.

During the whole trip, I tried to imagine how Lulu would react if she saw me. Arriving at the library, my heart thumped. I was so happy to see this place again.

Before, I was so scared that people would see me. Now I am free to be here without hiding from anyone.

"You can just wait here, Sibal." I said to him.

I peeked through the glass wall and I saw no one. It’s still early, maybe she’s inside. The chimes at the wood and glass door tinkled when I palmed the door to open it. I can’t help but be sentimental now that I see the books here. The scent of the books, the ambiance… all of it. It reminds me of my past.

In one second, Lulu came out from one of the shelves. My eyes glimmered.

"Sorry, I was just in the restroom-" I bit my lip to stop my smile.

She’s tongue tied. If only she could see her face at this moment. She looked ridiculously shocked! Her mouth dropped from seeing me at her library.

"Alia!" She ran and jumped on me.

I laughed and got a bit emotional from that scene. I know this is really Lulu's personality but I can’t help but to laugh at her sometimes.

“Oh my God, Alia. You’re here. ”

She cupped my face and scanned me all throughout. I smiled wide without saying anything.

”When did you get so tall? I’m taller than you before! We’re the same height now! ”

I laughed and hugged her again. She still has time to really notice that thing.

”Come here. Let’s sit. ”

Stunned, she guided the chair there. She looked at me like I’m sort of a saint or the queen of the royal family. Like it’s so impossible for me to be here.

I chuckled. "Stop it, Lulu."

She seemed back to her senses after I said that. She shook her head before looking at me again.

“You can’t blame me, Alia. I’m so damn worried about you! I thought we'd never see each other again. ” she pouted.

Now, I just realized. I don't know if it's because we haven't seen each other for a long time, but it seems like I see Lulu differently now. Before, I used to consider her as my mother, now she seems to be a close friend of mine.

“Don’t worry. I already found a way to see you. That’s why I’m here. ” I said.

She smiled and hugged me again. I laughed again at his aggressiveness. I’ve never seen her this way before.

"Did you come here alone?" she asked.

I shook my head. "I'm with a bodyguard."

"Body guard?" she raised a brow.

I nodded and turned my eyes outside. There’s Sibal standing outside the car and acting the way he should be.

"Aciel let me go outside without him as long as Sibal is with me."

She gasped and dramatically looked at me.

"Aciel?"

I nodded.

“Oh my! The guy you told me to work on some research? ”

I nodded again.

“He’s the one who bought you?”

I sighed and nodded again. I know she has a lot of questions. And this will be a long one.

“The same guy you told me who didn’t do you-”

"Lulu!" I sneered.

She bit her lips. “Sorry,” she leaned to me so she could whisper. “That means you’re with that hot guy?”

My eyes squinted because of the adjective he used. Hot guy? Did he even notice that?

"Even that man outside is hot." she giggled.

I raised my brow more. Even Sibal? She’s really something.

“Never mind Lulu. Let’s not talk about that. ” I shrugged. “What matters now is that I'm here. It will be easy for us to talk now that we are seeing each other. But I still need to be careful because Aciel might notice my strange behavior. ”

She sighed and nodded. “What more do you need to know?”

”I’ve just confirmed that your research is true. He’s the son of the late businessman who died years ago. But it’s not an accident Lulu, they were killed. ”

Her eyes widened. “They’re what?”

I eyed Sibal before talking again. I was a little nervous so I picked up the book on the table and pretended to read it.

“Aciel told it himself. That his parents were killed in front of his eyes. And the reason? I don’t know. ”

I could see the confusion in Lulu's eyes. She also seems to be distracted by the information I said.

”And that’s just not it. I think their death has something to do with the feud between this construction company and his parent’s business. ”

”But what’s this all about? Why do you need to know all those when we were just looking for your father so we can have information about your mother? ”

I fell silent at Lulu's question. Not because I didn’t know what to say, but because I didn’t know if he would accept my reason. I sighed before deciding to answer.

“Just… I need to pinpoint his weakness. There’s not much information about him. He's an orphan, didn’t have any relatives and such.  So it’s a bit hard for me.“

"Why do you need to know his weakness?" she cornered me more.

"So I will know how to get away."

"But you're getting away now."

I sighed heavily because it’s so hard to explain things to her in one go.

"Not just from him but from everyone who treated me badly." I blurted out. “All of them, Lulu. I want them to suffer. I want them to taste the punishment they deserve after all they did to me. “ My voice cracked explaining.

Her eyes weakened. "And that includes that man?"

I nodded.

"But you told me he didn't do anything to you yet."

I pursed my lips remembering Aciel’s face. The way he kissed my head this morning, bidding his goodbye. Memories of myself begging for him to do me flashed like a movie. I sighed heavily.

”If you want revenge, you can just sue him. Sue them! Now that you’re free to go out, it will be easy for you. ” she argued.

”Lulu, you don’t understand. Suing them means suing my own father. And that’s something I can’t do as of the moment. My top priority is to look for my father because he’s the only way to find my mom. ”

She nodded repeatedly. Maybe she had already noticed the desperation in my voice. She reached behind me to rub it, seemingly calming me down.

”I understand. Alright. I get it. “ she said.

“Please know that I’m with you, and I’m always on your side. But Alia,”she hangs her words.

I blinked the tears that’s forming in my eyes.

”Think about it well. I know you’ve suffered a lot and no one would ever know how much pain it caused you. Just remember that things are meant to happen if it’s for you. And if a person tries to revolve her hands around it, things are more likely to get messed up. ”

I listened to her. She’s not speaking straight. It’s almost like I’m solving a puzzle.

"Please, think about it well."