Deserve
As much as I wanted to get away, these tiny gestures of Aciel gave me the most hard time. That’s why my only escape is to busy myself and reason out ridiculous things just so I can buy more time.
”Sorry Angelo, I had few subjects to attend.” I said to him,
We met in a coffee shop. He just nodded lightly and offered me the drink he bought before I arrived. I thanked him.
”How are you?” he asked.
”I’m fine. Good. Uhm, how about you?”
He’s looking straight at me, one thing about Angelo is that kind of feel he gives in people. He is indeed a comfortable person to be with but with his reflexes, he never fails to make people feel awkward, or is it just me?
”I’m not gonna beat around the bush anymore. I know you know the reason for this meet up.”
”About my father,” I answered.
He nodded. “But before I proceed to that, how is it going between you and Anderson?”
My eyes stopped on my drink because I was caught off guard.
”Uhm, I’m still… trying to figure out what to do.”
He didn’t answer. Instead, he put a tabloid on the table and there, I saw my face as well as Elijah.
Famous model Alia Hampton and Forbes placer Aciel Evans dating? Read page three for the article.
My lips parted. That’s probably because of yesterday. Aciel coming to my work is a big scoop for everybody.
”I’m not against any of your decisions, Alia. But based on what’s happening, I think the outcomes are slightly different from the decisions you’ve told me before.” Angelo blathered.
”I’m doing my very best Angelo. I don’t know what to do anymore.” I spoke.
I bowed my head and stopped my lips from trembling because of the tears that’s clouding my eyes. I felt this different kind of exhaustion that will never fade by just a simple rest. This is bottomless and profound.
I hid my face to wipe my tears that fell. I don’t want to make no sense being so emotional right in front of him. This is not the kind of set up we have.
”I’m sorry.” I laughed raw while I kept on wiping my tears.
I’m so surprised when he stood up and came beside me. He held my face and using his hankie he helped me wipe my tears. I was stunned for seconds before I realized we were in an awkward situation.
I cleared my throat before speaking. “T-thank you, I can manage.”
He sighed and let me. He just sat there beside me.
”I think I’m gonna change my plan.” I finally made up my mind.
”You mean?”
”I couldn’t bear to do all these things to him. I can’t continue treating him as if I don’t love him. I can’t. If I have to end this, certainly not that way.” I exclaimed, still a little bit emotional.
”Your decision is long overdue already. Your relationship is the talk of the town already. I’m afraid that it will cause more damage once you tell him the truth.”
I sighed heavily. Of course I know that. All I’m feeling now is remorse and regret. He’s right, he’s making sense. If I change my decision now, it will cause more damage for us.
”Specially that your father is getting out of hand as time goes by. The more you buy your time, the more he’s making plans and getting out of this chaos he made.”
“Why don’t you just send him to jail? “ I suggested it desperately.
”You know I don’t have the power to do that.” he uttered.
”But you can just help me. I can testify. I can just sue him for exploiting me and he’ll be behind bars without any of us being affected.”
He didn’t answer. He looked at me intently before he uttered some words.
”And what will I benefit from that?”
My lips went flat line. There’s this heavy baggage that’s been dug into my chest, so heavy that I didn’t know how to react.
”You’re still pursuing that?” I asked without enough energy.
He avoided my eyes and looked far away. His face turned serious and his jaw moved in a harsh way. I gulped and chuckled without any humor. With all the errands that I did this past week, what are the odds that this is the only time I felt so tired.
”I’m just so dumb to believe that for once you treated me as a friend, Angelo. I shouldn’t have hoped that you’ll see me as one.” That’s all I said and left the table.
”Alia,” he called me.
I ignored him and pretended not to hear him. I am hurt. I am disappointed. But there’s still a part of me who blames myself because I should be the one who understands him.
”Alia,” he tailed me.
Since the parking of the coffee shop is in the back, I turned to the edge of the coffee shop to get into the car where Sibal was waiting.
”Alia, please.” He held my arm.
”What?” I blurted and faced him when we reached the part of the parking where there’s no people around.
He sighed like he’s having a hard time.
”I am not an object that you can use, Angelo. I’ve been true to you, ever since. I’m just so disappointed in myself for hoping that in the midst of this all, I found a friend but no.”
He glided his tongue to the inside of his cheeks. “You know where I am coming from.”
”Oh, yes I know! But remember? You are not the only victim here, Angelo. Aciel lost his family too. Out of all people, you should be the one who understands him, not the one who’s seeking revenge against him.” I said angrily.
The wind blew into our face, but that didn’t affect the tension that’s building between us.
”I don’t want to be your friend, Alia.”
Daggers pierced into my heart when he said that. I was about to answer him and spat some harsh words but he came to me and pressed his lips into mine. I was so shocked! Adrenaline told me to push him but my body won’t move because of too much puzzlement.
When he pulled from that kiss, he looked into my face.
”I don’t care about revenge, Alia. While you’re hoping to find a friend in the midst of this, I was hoping that I have someone like you in my life.”
”W-what?”
I stepped back and shook my head, not wanting to admit what I just heard.
”Or maybe yes. Half of me wants to get under Aciel’s nerves, but all I get was the feeling of enviousness and jealousy. I lost everything in my life. Family, friends, wealth, while he has everything including you.”
I gulped. I couldn’t believe this.
”What in the hell did I do to deserve all this while he’s living the life I’m supposed to have as well. He ruined everything for me, Alia. Now why does he still have you? He doesn’t deserve you, Alia. You deserve me.” he said desperately.
I shook my head continuously and stepped back.
”So please, run away with me. Leave him, Alia. Come with me.” he offered his hand.
With all the strength left in me, I brought my palm to his face and slapped him to make him feel the frustration he has given me.
I gritted my jaw. “You just prove to me why Aciel deserves all this while you’re left with nothing.”
His eyes widened a fraction. All the hope and desperation disappeared and left with coldness and dullness.
”No one deserves me. But Aciel for sure deserves everything he’s got today. Because he might have suffered from his past but never did he think bad for someone. He never plays dirty. He plays fair and lets the law decide. So before you look at someone’s trash, make sure you’re keeping an eye on yours.”
That’s all I said and left him. I ran into the car and saw Sibal standing outside with his cold face. I was panting and for sure my face was pale as paper.
My stomach crumbled and I felt extreme dizziness. Before I knew it, Sibal ran into me before my whole world blacked out.
