Forgive Me
”Oh? Aren’t you too early? Your shoot starts at nine, it's still seven in the morning, early bird!”
Calista, Zoey’s manager before and now, my manager greeted me with those words. I sat on the chair in front of her and put my bag on the table. As soon as I hit the soft cushion I closed my eyes feeling the lack of sleep.
”I forgot about the schedule.” I reasoned out.
When in fact, I really did go to work early with the intention of not seeing Aciel, and to avoid any conversations with him.
Calista just shrugged at my answer, he’s currently busy doing something. The studio is still unpacked with people. Later, all the staff will arrive. Due to tiredness, I didn’t notice that I had a nap sitting on the chair. When I opened my eyes, busy people were surrounding me.
Some of the people are wondering why am I so tired, some are guessing it’s because I’m busy and have a lot on my plate that’s why I’m so tired. And some don't care at all. They just proceeded to do my hair and my make up.
While I’m in the middle of the makeover, my phone that’s on the vanity lit up. My heart thumped thinking it’s Aciel but it’s not. The amount of relief I felt when I saw Angelo’s name flashed on the screen is enormous.
Angelo:
Do you have time today? Can we meet?
Angelo and I are still in touch. We don’t meet that often but we do meet sometimes to talk about some stuff. I can’t say that we are close to each other, I will say that we’re kind of casual.
I don’t know. I’m not sure. Maybe that short time of him opening up to me became a huge twist on how we treat each other. I’ve come to know that he’s actually a good friend and he makes sense.
Me:
I have a shoot today.
I can say that most of our meetups are about my father. He’s the only one who knows where my father is. And he just keeps on checking about my plans because my next decisions will be all up to me.
Angelo:
Alright. Let’s meet when you’re not busy.
”So Alia, we’ll only have seven sets for this shoot. The next session will be rescheduled because that needs to shoot outside.” Calista explained to me.
”Clothes right?” I confirmed.
”Yes, for a magazine.”
”Catalogue?”
He shook his head and looked at the board he’s holding, so the photographer answered for me.
”Just for a commercial magazine.” He smiled.
”Yes, copies will be produced in some countries as well,” Calista answered.
My eyes widened a bit because of what he said. I've been totally out of my mind these past few days. It’s my job to know the projects that I’m shooting but I don’t have any idea that I’ll be doing this kind of shoot today. This just proves how I am just doing this to avoid Aciel.
Soon the shoot started. The first set of photos will be for the monochromatic set. I’m wearing a red mesh overall and the set is filled with red curtains that are used for gymnasts. It was a bit hard for me since I had to do all those positions to look flattering, gladly the photographer is helping me and giving me instructions to survive that shoot.
The next set was just a black and white themed set. I’m wearing a black mesh jumpsuit that’s a bit more showy than usual. My bare back is showing and my round pecs are visible because the mesh cloth is only covering the middle part.
I had to sit on the round metal that’s used for gymnastics as well and pose unique and unusual poses. It’s a bit hard as well.
I was concentrating on posing in front of the camera when the silent studio suddenly became like a place full of bees because of the hissing and silent whispering that I heard. I ignored it because I’m still shooting but when the photographer rested to check the photos, my eyes traveled on the people that’s having a little commotion and there, I was dumbfounded.
Aciel, wearing casual clothes, standing a few meters away, watching me posing in front of the camera.
’Shit! Why is he here?’ I nearly uttered.
He’s just there, standing casually while looking at the photographer with his hawk eye - like eyes. My knees trembled when his eyes drifted to me. God! Just when I was avoiding him. Ugh!
”Alright! Twenty minutes break. Will edit these photos,” said the photographer.
My eyes fixed to him dumbfounded. And this is the right time to call for a break? Really?
I was left with no choice but to, of course, took that fucking break and have some conversation with Aciel. I came near him and I could feel him eyeing me. His eyes stopped on my upper body which I’m guessing, because of how much skin I’m showing.
The people behind me stopped helping me when I reached Aciel’s direction. I smiled awkwardly at them.
”What are you doing here?” I asked, nearly whispering.
He pursed his lips and shifted to his place. “I was looking forward to talking to you this morning. Only to find out you’ve gone to work early.”
I sighed heavily and bit my lip. I am running out of reasons.
”I’m working Aciel. If your words couldn’t wait, please I don’t want to cause a scene here.”
His forehead creased when I said that. His eyes darkened and he was confused about what he heard.
”Of course, my words can wait. I came here not to make a scene but to visit you.”
My brows shot up. “Visit? You’re busy working in Evans.”
He looked at me intently. He wet his lips and didn’t answer me. I shrugged my shoulders waiting for his words. My eyes went to the people who're acting as if everything is normal but they are secretly eavesdropping.
”Come here.” I hissed and grabbed his hand.
I walked to the direction of the dressing room and while walking to that direction, some people greeted him. I forgot this man is hella famous.
When we arrived at the dressing room, I let go of his hands. We are in front of the mirror, in this tiny enclosed space area.
”So care to explain?”
He touched the tip of his nose and sat on the chair there, he looks so comfortable and casual, as if I’m not fuming here.
”Is it wrong to visit my girlfriend at work?” he asked softly.
My heart immediately softened hearing him but I pretended not to care.
”Come here,” he said.
He reached for my hand and since I’m lost for words and excuses, I let him drag me. I ended up sitting on his legs. His arms snake on my waist and he rests his chin on my shoulders.
Oh Lord, why am I so weak when it comes to him? Why am I always left with no choice but to give in?
”Baby are you still upset? I’m afraid that you’ll really leave me after our little fight last night. Please forgive me.” he whispered softly and sweetly.
Forgive? Aren’t I supposed to be blamed here? He’s done nothing but to be good to me. Gladly, I’m seated. Because if I wasn’t I could have stumbled on the floor with all these butterflies he’s giving me.
”Aren’t you busy?” All I could say to avoid that topic.
”I am. But I’m never busy when it comes to you.”
I slapped his legs and he didn’t even flinch.
”Really,” he added. “I’m afraid that you’re slowly drifting away from me because I’m losing time for you. So I skipped work to be with you today. I’m all yours for now, baby.”
As much as I want to be happy with what I’ve heard, I felt this guilt deep down into my bones. I have to end this soon, right? It’s either tell him or end this.
I hope you can forgive me too, Aciel. Forgive me too.
