Chapter 20

Manik Malhotra had just hit a sixer. At least that is what it felt like.

A million responses flooded through her. Panic. Warning. Somewhere, a completely unwelcome sense of wanting. How was it even possible? Nandani knew there had been something physical between them, but never suspected he had been thinking this. For how long?

Apparently, Manik was waiting for her to say something in response. She rushed to do it before getting too caught up in the possibility that he actually wanted her, or the possibility that it mattered if he did.

"Manik, you are confused. and also drunk. And we have been hanging out a lot. It is totally natural that..." She then tried starting again. "The human brain works in mysterious ways. Especially yours." Everything that she said seemed to be inadequate in comparison to what he had just said.

"You are stalling, Nandani. What are you trying to say? You actually don't believe there is anything between us?" His thumb had moved to the inside of her wrist and it was doing crazy things to her insides. Did he feel her pulse beating fast? She hoped not.

Nandani willed her heart rate to behave itself as she tried to start again. "Manik, we have known each other forever. You are my best friend's brother." He winced but she pressed on. "I am a single-minded OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) case. I am six months elder to you."

His eyes were searching hers. "You are only six months older, Nandani. And you are a sexy, brilliant OCD head case."

A startled laugh burst from her chest before she could control it. This direction was dangerous, it might be fuel for her own wretched thoughts that had been constantly troubling her these past six months since their kiss at the party. The ones she had been stamping down, blaming them to misplaced gratitude for how good he had been to her this term.

"We are friends. And I don't want to mess it up with...anything." Nandani then squeezed his hands in what she hoped was an amicable gesture then released her grip, moving to step back.

Instead of letting go, Manik wove his fingers through hers in a hold that was suddenly more intimate. "Maybe we are not supposed to be friends."

Nandani's breath caught in her throat. They watched each other for endless seconds. She could hear the band start playing in the background.

"I am going to pretend you did not say that." It would be the best thing for both of them, Nandani decided.

He looked like he was ready to argue, but she did not stick around to find out.

She pulled her hands firmly from his and walked back to her seat. Leaving him behind to find his own way back.

*******************

Nandani normally was a middle-of-the-road exerciser. She was not a hardcore fitness fanatic, but usually made an appearance at the gym at least two days a week. Her workout routine consisted of running and a weekly yoga class with Alya.

So, Alya was surprised when Nandani suggested that they would go for kickboxing on Sunday morning instead. But she was wanting to hit something. The harder the better.

The more she thought about her conversation with Manik the more frustrated it made her. She had been so persistent in abolishing any attraction that might have sprung up after that first kiss. And he had been quick to agree it was off-limits. It was not like their time hanging out together had been easy. Every day he seemed more attractive rather than less, which meant harder work on her part to stay true to the no-guy pact with Mukti.

The gym was quiet for the weekend. Most of the people celebrating homecoming were probably still in bed nursing their hangovers. Still, there were a good number of people in the studio, in which heavy practice bags on stands were scattered throughout the room. After a short warmup, the instructor told them to pick a bag. Alya and Nandani paired up to practice their punches on opposite sides.

"Don't lock your elbows," the instructor was saying to the pair beside them as he came around.

"Nice work. You are really putting your body behind it." He said to Nandani. He then walked around to Alya's side. "See what your friend is doing? Follow through like that." What the instructor didn't know was that Alya was at a distinct disadvantage. Unlike Nandani, she had not come into class feeling ready to murder someone.

Nandani felt like she had finally figured out where Manik and she stood. They were in the friend zone. Despite their occasionally intimate conversations, she could ignore the odd moment of attraction because she knew what they were.

Then Manik had to go and change the rules of the game again. She didn't know what she was feeling. And when she did not have to think about what he was feeling, it was so much easier.

"Wow, you have some serious energy today," Alya commented. "Who is on the receiving end?"

"Do you and Ryan ever fight?" Nandani asked her. Ryan was her boyfriend. They had been dating for a year, but he went to an out-of-state school, so she only saw him on break and every few weeks when one of them would travel to see the other.

"Sometimes," Alya answered.

"What about?" Nandani asked.

"Usually it is when he does something stupid." She gave Nandani a devious smile.

Nandani looked shocked at her. "You would date someone who is not perfect?"

"I don't think it can be helped. Guys are dumb sometimes. They say things without thinking. Like last week Ryan was visiting and he suggested I go see him for Thanksgiving instead of him coming home because he wants to go see a football tournament that weekend."

"He wanted you to spend the whole weekend on the sidelines?" Nandani asked.

"Apparently. We discussed it, and he decided it makes more sense for him to come home instead." Alya smiled sweetly.

"Sometimes," Alya added as they shouldered their gym bags and pushed out of the door and into the sunshine, "guys are stupid. They cannot help it. It just means that sometimes you have to set them straight."

It sounded like good advice. Maybe Nandani just needed to tell Manik where they stood since he clearly was not getting the message.