Chapter 21

The week delivered one trial after the other. By Thursday afternoon Nandani felt as if she had been hit over the head with several mallets.

Firstly her finance exam seemed like Greek. Somehow the things that she and Alya had studied just did not seem to match up with the questions on the test paper.

Nandani had tried proving a theorem in three different ways, and as the time for submission of paper neared, she had a sickening feeling that none of them were right.

To cap it all off, Nandani's mom called for her monthly check-in call. She gave her mother a lighter version of the details, without resorting to excuses. Both she as well as her mom hated excuses. It was the one thing they had in common besides their DNA.

"What happened, Nandani? Didn't you study?" her mom asked.

"Of course I did, Mom," she replied.

"Senior year is like a big step up. Passing advanced courses won't be a walk in the park. Why don't you get a tutor until you have a better grasp on the subject?" her mom said. Nandani gritted her teeth. She was amongst the top ten students of the class and would try her level best to not let her grade fall. Even after all these years, it stung Nandani that her mother thought she was not smart enough or working hard enough.

Nandani's mom continued, "I had called up to say we can help you get an interview for a summer internship with a big company. If you keep your grades up."

"Sure Mom." Protesting never worked. Eventually, she would realize Nandani was not on board and give up.

"Oh, and one other thing. I know Karan said we would be able to make it out to New York this Christmas to visit you while you are there, but Sarah is doing a pageant in Los Angeles. Why don't you just stay in San Francisco for the break? Her mother asked.

The fact that she was going to New York to work and take the biggest meeting of her life had made no impression on her mother, Nandani felt.

It felt like she would have rather been happy if Nandani had left along with her dad instead of ending up dumped along with her. And no matter what Nandani ever did, she could not be as perfect as Sarah.

I cannot cancel. But it is fine, Mom. You'll have a great time. Tell Sarah good luck." Nandani then hung up.

It had been the worst day in recent memory. The last thing that she felt like doing was catching up on work, but that was exactly what she had been forcing herself to do at home for six hours now. She knew that she should sleep, but it was not a remote possibility.

Nandani needed a friend and Mukti would not serve the purpose now. She was far too fond of reminding Nandani how narrow-minded her mom was for failing to see the opportunities in working for the fashion label 'Dream Girl.' A mom-bashing was not in the cards for tonight.

Kickboxing had helped her let off some frustration about Manik, but she had not spoken to him alone since then. Though he had driven them to school on Monday as well as on that day, she had been as silent as possible without arousing Mukti's attention. He seemed to know there was something off, but so far had not tried to speak to her.

But now she needed to see him, though she was pissed about the last time. She missed his thoughtful eyes and the way he could get her to relax. Before her brain could catch up with her fingers, she sent off a text to Manik.

You are still up?

"Yeah," Manik replied.

"Can I come over?"

Nandani did not wait for his answer but pulled over a sweater over her tank top and skirt, intending to walk the ten blocks from home. It was still warm outside. She absently thought about how happy the water surfers would be.

Manik's reply came when she had already locked up and was heading down the driveway.

"Sure"

When she knocked on his door a few minutes later, Manik opened it right away. Nandani wondered which Manik it was- the one who listened and calmed her down or the one who made her head explode because she could not make sense of what seemed to be escalating between them.

Manik looked as if he had just rolled out of bed. His hair was all over. It looked sexy on him and not messy. His deep brown eyes were warm on seeing her, though sleepy. All that just made her more irritated.

"Come in," he invited her. "How come, I did not hear your car in the driveway?" Manik asked.

"That was because I walked over till here," Nandani replied.

His furrowed brows told her he was not happy. "Seriously? Shit, it's late. You should not be out alone."

Nandani leaned back against the closed door. His obligatory chastising done, Manik waited for her to make the next move.

"So...do you want to talk?" Manik had not moved from where he was leaning against the railing of the staircase. He was giving her lots of space. It annoyed her, along with everything else from his perfectly imperfect hair to the fact that he had gotten out of bed so she could come over.

"I want to know what the hell is wrong with you, Manik?" Seeing him there made her realize she was not quite ready to let go after all.

Manik's eyes widened in surprise, then reverted to calm and assessing. "You want that alphabetical or in a chronological sequence?"

"I am not playing games, Manik. What was that? At homecoming, during the football match?" She took a step toward him. She balled her hands in fists to keep from shoving him.

The muscle worked in his jaw. He took a long breath. Let it out. "I meant what I said, Nandani."

"We cannot be...whatever it is you want." She didn't know if she was trying to convince herself or him.

"What do you want, Nandani?"

It was a million-dollar question.

"I want to be your friend, but you won't let me. You get me more than most people, and just when it feels like I get you too like I know where I stand, you throw up these walls or change the rules entirely. It is not fair. Like one moment we are laughing like we have the world's biggest shared joke, and the next it is like something's eating you from inside out. What I want is no more games, Manik. No more secrets."

He smiled then but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I get it. Why do you feel that way? I guess I am used to keeping secrets. But the thing is, they usually serve a purpose. As the truth can be messy."