50

Kims Pov

"Kim. Kim. Get up." shouted someone. I cried out in shock and sat down. I looked around confused. My room. Nobody was there. Stop. There. Chris stood in my room door and looked at me amused.

"Was this necessary?" I growled and fell back into my soft pillow.

"Yes it had to. You have to go back to school honey." he said cautiously. He was afraid of how I would react because yesterday and the days before I wasn't doing so well. I just sighed and covered all emotions. As much as I missed Derek, I didn't get to show it. I had to keep living. I wasn't allowed to show my sadness to others. It had to appear as if I was convinced of my opinion. I was. Somehow. Okay, I knew it was the only right solution, but I also knew that I only wanted him. Just wanted to be with him. Just wanted to be closer to his. The only one wanted to be for him. Wanted to fall asleep next to him every night and wake up next to him every morning. To be kissed by him every second. become his.

I quickly shook all thoughts aside and wiped a tear from my cheek. I didn't even notice as I rolled them down my cheek. I hopped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. After a long shower I put on a blue high-waisted hotpan. In addition a black croptop and turquoise superstars. How I love these shoes. I grabbed my bag and rushed down the stairs.

"Morning darling." my father greeted me.

"Morning." I greeted him and Chris, who was desperately trying to make a fried egg. "I'll do it." I said to him and pushed him away from the stovetop.

"What would I do without you." he sighed and kissed my cheek.

After breakfast I sat in the car on the driver's side. Chris stopped at first chartered, but fasted himself again and got on board as well.

"Can't I drive?" he whined. I just shook my head with a grin and drove off.

We came to a stop at a traffic light. Next to us drove another car, which squeaked with the tires. I looked over. It was Derek. We both looked at each other longingly. We only wanted each other. I had to be strong so I looked the other way. His engine on today. show off I did too. But mine sounded much louder and nicer. He did the same to me. As soon as the traffic light turned green, we both took off. We overtook other drivers without hesitation. He was in the lead but I was slowly catching up. School was in sight, so I pressed the bedal again. I overtook him and shot very far forward. I drifted into one in the parking lot. A huge cloud of dust wrapped around my car.

"Are you serious?" Chris said, mockingly arrogant, but I had to grin because I knew for sure that he found it just as awesome as I did. The cloud of dust had settled, so I got out with my great sunglasses on. Everyone looked at us. Everyone looked at us in astonishment.

"Kim." derke's voice sounded next to me. I looked at him a bit startled at first, but shortly afterwards emotionless again. The one he was looking for shone so beautifully at the beginning. His eyes shone like a lighthouse. But as soon as he saw my face, he looked at me sadly again. This stabbing pain shot through me again.

"Derek." I said coolly.

"Can we talk?" he said pleadingly. He begged me. I wanted but couldn't. Another reason why this can't work was that he would never forgive me for my behavior. I didn't answer him, but turned and stalked away. Derek shouted my name several more times and tried to stop me too, but I didn't respond or pulled my arm away. All stare at us as insane. I've always liked attention, but today I didn't want it. I'd rather be one of the unknowns. One that no one knew and everyone saw about.

"No life of your own or what?" I shouted across the schoolyard. Everyone looked at me in bewilderment, but still averted their eyes. The last thing I wanted right now was attention.

"Kim, please wait. Let's talk." came his voice again. Every time he said my name, I tingled. Only with him does my name sound beautiful and yet somehow sexy. Oh God. Kim. Think elsewhere.

"It's all been said, so just leave me alone." I said without damming him up. Still I kept walking through the corridors of the school.

"I'll give you all the time in the world, but please give me a chance." he begged again. I could hardly hold back my tears and I was on the verge of a breakdown. Oh God. He should finally go. I wish I had never met him.

"I don't need time. I don't want time. I've said everything I wanted to say. So please stop and just leave me alone." I said softly, knowing if I played louder my voice would drown. I had no more strength. Inside I was broken and destroyed. Only from the outside did she look strong. But soon. Soon this wall will break. I felt it.

"You can't just say that. I see and feel how you feel. Please. We need each other. Please. No matter what you're afraid of, together we can do anything." he said. We were now in a completely empty hallway. Why did I have to be alone with him right now? I don't want to talk to him. He just made things worse than they are.

"And if so. I don't want and won't accept you. No matter what you say, do or want. Nothing will change." I whispered again. I stopped and looked into his face for the first time. His so beautiful face was just a sad expression. His eyes, which are usually so bright, were dull and full of sadness. His beautiful smile was swallowed up by the earth. I could not anymore. I had to go. Just far away. Where nobody would find me I dropped my bag and stormed past him. I just started running. Just go away. First to my house where I changed my clothes. From there I ran into the forest and transformed. And there I ran aimlessly deep in...

Derkes Pov

As she stood in front of me, I broke inside. Her eyes glittered and small tears rolled down her white porcelain skin. Her dark circles were visible despite her makeup. She looked like a wrag. Without life. All you saw was sadness and fear. But afraid of what? This uncertainty worries me so much. It's driving me insane. How come? What about her? What is she afraid of? Before me?

I looked into her eyes again. They were like an entrance into her soul. She might look strong to others, but I saw the truth. She broke just like me. But why is she doing this to us? That single question. Over and over again.

Suddenly she dropped her bag and ran. I wanted to go after her, but something told me to let her. But where are you going?

Full of anger and fury, I hit the wall with all my might. A hole remained. I was so angry with myself that I let her go. I don't even know where she's gone. All alone too. What if something happens to her? I could never forgive myself for that.

Her smell was still in my nostrils. It smelled of raspberries, some vanilla and forest roses. It's so incredibly good. It calmed me down a bit instantly.

If only I knew where she went...