49

I stood there for a while until it got cooler and I decided to go inside. I hadn't seen Chris all evening. He probably wanted to go to the movies with some new friends. As so often, Dad had to work longer hours on the grounds that money doesn't grow on trees. Once again I was alone. I just lay motionless snuggled up in my blanket and stared at the white wall. You could hear my TV quietly in the background. I turn him on a lot so I don't feel so lonely, but it didn't help. Nothing helped. i was lonely Although Chris tried to be with me as much as possible, I was still lonely. In fact, it wasn't me who was lonely, it was my wolf. He looked for other wolves. After a pack. After my mate.

I thought for a while until I heard noises. The front door. It has been opened. Who is this? Dad was still at work and Chris didn't want to come back for a few hours. But who else should it be?

I got up quietly and crept to the door. I opened it quietly a crack and peered out. no one to see So I opened them wider and crept out into the hallway. I went down the stairs very slowly and quietly. no one to see The noises got louder and louder. They came out of the living room. I stopped at the door and peered in. The TV was on. Wait a moment. Why should a burglar play FIFA? Chris?

"Chris?" I asked uncertain and confused. I slowly stepped closer to the sofa and looked at the boys. Chris was sitting on the sofa with three guys. One of them was Cole. I looked at him in shock. He grinned at me. I didn't know the other two. Who are they?

"Hey little one. I didn't want to leave you alone for so long and so I thought why not gamble with us instead of with Jason." he confessed to me. I looked at one of the two unknowns. her smell. Also werewolves. Derek's mutt. No mutts come in this house. Especially not his mutts.

"Hey little ones." Cole grinned at me.

"cole." I replied coolly.

"Can we talk for a moment." he asked me expectantly.

"If it has to be." I replied coolly again. He nodded arrogantly and stood up. I rolled my eyes and led him into my kitchen.

"So, what do you want?" I asked annoyed. Since we've been standing here for minutes and nobody said anything.

"Why did you reject Derek? He's locked in his room, rarely comes out and looks awful. He doesn't talk to anyone. Our pack worries about him. Please at least give him a chance. He really only wants you Fine-" he said pleadingly, but I put my hand over his mouth. What have I done? Oh no. How is he doing right now? Now he'll never forgive and hate me again anyway. How could I? What have I done to him? I looked at him coolly and without emotion, but inside I'm breaking down. No, that's not right. A part of me had already broken down. I pulled my hand down from his mouth and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes briefly, but quickly opened them again.

"If he only wants my best, then he should let me. I can't change my decision. It doesn't matter whether I wanted to or not." I said irritably. I could hardly hold back my tears. I had to hold back my feelings. I wasn't allowed to show any weakness. Not now and not before him.

"Please at least give him a chance. If not for him then for the pack. We all need him. Please." he looked at me pleadingly. His eyes showed fear. Fear for his pack. Fear for his alpha. I want to help them but I can't. I am not good enough. They wouldn't accept me and if they did I would disappoint everyone and fall and spoil it.

"I'm sticking to my answer and now please take your mutts and go. And don't you say a word to Chris. I swear I'll kill you." I hissed annoyed. Chris mustn't know I kicked Cole out. He would be disappointed and hate me.

"Please think about it. Okay?" I nodded for him to finally pull away. "Promise me." he said again.

"Okay. I promise." I said annoyed. He nodded at me and hugged me goodbye, which I didn't return. Or could not reply, because it was much too short for it. I followed him into the living room. He said I should give him ten minutes so it didn't look like I was going to kick him out.

"Oh boys. We gotta go. Bye Chris." said Cole to the others. Both nodded and stood up. They walked past me.

"Bye Kim." Cole shouted at me before closing the door behind him. Finally. I didn't want any of them with me.

"Do you want to talk?" asked Chris behind me. I shook my head. "Were they also?" he asked again. I nodded this time. He let out an 'oh' but I ignored it and went to my room. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. Everything came back up. I could literally feel how Derek felt. What kind of being am I to do something like that to him?

Full of rage I screamed into my pillow and cried myself to my sleep...

Derkes Pov

Why is she doing this to me? Can't I see how she hurts it? I just want her to make you happy. Why doesn't she accept me? what have i done to her Did I say something wrong? Did? Please. i need to know why

I've been sitting here in my room for hours staring at my blanket. The same questions over and over again. Someone keeps knocking on my door, but I don't answer. I'm breaking inside But the worst thing is that I know she feels the same way. Why is she doing that to me and herself?

Again someone knocks on the door and again I don't react. The last thing I want is pity. I only want her. I only need her And she needs me. I see it. I feel it. And I just know Why is she acting like this?

"Honey, please let me in." comes the worried voice of my mom. After a short while I get up and open the door.

"What happened? Please talk to me. I'm so worried about you. It hurts me to see you like this." she breaks the silence. I tell her everything and she listens in bondage.

"I think I know what's going on. She's just like me. When I met your dad I was blown away. He had to talk about me for a while before I started dating him. He took me out to an expensive restaurant , there he told me all about werewolves and that I was his mate. He told me all the quests of a luna. All of a sudden I was really scared to live with him and become a luna. The quests of a luna scared me and I have I didn't feel up to it. I refused to accept him, but fought for me. He said that together we can do anything. And then I dared and now I have a great husband and a wonderful son. Derek. All I'm saying is that she's probably scared of not being good enough.Don't give them up and fight for them." She said calmly. As she told her story, she looked at me dreamily and smiled.

We talked for a while before going downstairs for dinner. And now I'm sure. I have to fight for Kim. I will never give up. Until the last breath...