48

Kims Pov

Sunbeams woke me from my restless sleep. I could close my eyes all night. It was horrifying to know how bad it was for him. Does he know that it's no different for me? Surely he doesn't know. It's school again today, which means I'll see him again. Why is it so difficult for me? Why can't I be like every other wolf? That would make it so much easier.

I opened my eyes and stared at the white blanket. Chris is no longer lying next to me. I felt lonely again. Not lonely. Well he left alone. nobody stays with me My mom died. My dad tries hard, but still has to work a lot. Chris always tries to be there for me, but he also has his own life, problems and worries of his own. Even my very best friend was no longer allowed to have any contact with me.

Flashback

Finally I see Cristine again. I see her less and less since my mum left the pack. It's a pity. Christine and I are inseparable. Forever and ever. Nothing and nobody will be able to separate us. I just know it.

Finally. I stand in front of the magnificent great pack house. I used to be here so often, but that's no longer possible. They don't want us here anymore. But at least mum allows me to see Christine. I knock. Shortly thereafter, a tall, slim woman opens the door. It's Christine's mother, Sandra. She is a nice and cheerful woman. Whenever I and Christine see each other, she brings us cookies and cocoa. I really like her a lot. But this time she doesn't look at me cheerfully. How come? What have I done?

"What do you want here?" says this coolly and condescendingly. what have i done to her I look up at her confused.

"I wanted to visit Christine. I haven't seen her in a long time since we moved away. Is she at home?" I asked politely. Sandra looks at me contemptuously with her brown almost black eyes. Always the same question. What have I done?

"You didn't move out without a reason and now go back there. Christine doesn't want to see you. Just like everyone else here." she says scornfully. Her eyes show pure arrogance. I look at her confused and hurt.

"B-but-" I was about to say, but Sandra cuts me off rudely.

"But nothing. You should go or you can't hear." she hissed angrily and annoyed.

"Could I at least say goodbye to Christine?" I beg Sandra with tears in my eyes.

"No, now go." she snarls and immediately slams the door. What have I done wrong? Why can't I see her anymore? Tears roll down my cheek. I sob to myself and walk towards our house.

Flashback Ende

Tears form in my eyes again. How was a 7-year-old kid supposed to understand that? To this day I don't know why. I'll never know either. Since that day I hate Sandra. I never saw Christine again. Did she really not want to see me? I ask myself this all the time. Did she want to keep seeing me the way I do? In no way am I mad at her, just disappointed that she didn't speak up. At least not in a way that I would have noticed. Again and again I had tried to see her. Until my mother died. I would have needed Christine there. But she wasn't there.

Enough emotional. I crawled out of bed and sauntered into the bathroom. There I first looked for a long time really warm and enjoyed every hot drop of water. It burned like hell, but felt so good nonetheless. After a long time I got out of the shower and put on fresh clothes. I quickly blow my teeth and put on some makeup. There was a note from Chris downstairs in the kitchen.

Hey Kimmi,

I'm already at school. Since you weren't feeling well yesterday, I let you sleep and described you as sick. Try to relax and calm down. I'll be back at 4 a.m. Until then, do nothing and have a nice day. If something is, just give me a call and I'll be right back.

Love you Chris♥

He is simply the best. What time is it anyway? Only 8:30 a.m. So much time. I hurried upstairs to my room and changed into comfortable clothes and removed my makeup. Great. Done all the trouble for nothing. Although the eyeliner stroke was really not nice.

With my black jogging pants and my white top I made myself comfortable on the sofa with a bowl of muesli. What's on TV right now. I decide to watch HIMYM. Eventually I fell asleep again.

~~~~~~~~~

A quick wake woke me up. What was that? It came from the kitchen. I stood up quietly and crept towards the kitchen. The rushing got louder and louder. It sounded like a cereal box. wait what Muesli? Then it's Chris. And I was already panicking. Nevertheless, I dared to take a quick look into the kitchen. And fact. Chris was just making a bowl of muesli. But why is he there so early?

"Morning Chris. What are you doing here so early?" I asked confused and entered the kitchen properly. He looked at me startled, then questioningly and then amused. I returned his questioning look. Now why does he think that's funny?

"Hi Kim. How are you? Have you looked at your watch? It's already after four. You were sleeping so peacefully that I didn't want to wake you up, but I thought you knew that we already have four." he smiles. Now why is this so funny? A glance at the clock reveals that he was right. Am I really just sleeping? Oh. I can't waste my time either. I look at the laughing Chris confused. Did he take drugs? funny guy Shaking my head, I went up to my room on the balcony.

The fresh light flew around my hair. The green trees look like a unit from above. As if no one could separate them. they were one Despite looking different, they all looked the same. Like a community. like an army. Some trees warn bigger than others. Some smaller. But they still belonged. Nature fascinates me every time. You can read so much from her. So many symbols and meanings. But all plants and landscapes have one thing in common. They are all peaceful and free. No one is there to change them or want to change them. Nobody who doesn't like her. Nobody despises her.

I also wanted to feel as free as nature. I could never be what I am. I would never be accepted like that. After all, who which pack wants to record a lonely rouge, which is also different. Tears rolled down my cheeks again. I wanted to feel free so I stretched out my arms. The wind blew through my hair and across my face. I closed my eyes, liberating myself and enjoying every moment of the feeling. For a moment I could forget all worries. For a moment I felt free. I was happy for a moment.