56

Kims Pov

Something warm was spread all over my face. Sunlight leaked through my eyelids. It shone right in my face. I breathed deeply in and out. My body didn't hurt anymore like it did the last time I can remember. All those thoughts came again, how Derek was crying and blaming himself. No. It was my fault if only I could have told him that.

I blinked slightly. The light came straight into my eyes. I blinked again and again until I finally managed to open my eyes. Wait, can I open my eyes? I tried to raise my arm, it worked. I tried to move mine, it worked. Finally. Finally I wasn't lamed anymore.

My eyes were formed into slits because once the sun was shining strongly and it cost me a lot of strength to keep them open. My eyes darted slowly through my surroundings. Everything was white. I was definitely in the hospital. Here was just a big bed in which I lay. A small tush stood next to my bed, which was decorated with flowers of all colors. There were also two doors here.

Something pulled me to a warm side. I looked there confused. It was Derek. He was close to me. His arms wrapped gently but tightly around me. His head was in the crook of my neck. His hot breath hit my skin. Goosebumps ran through my whole body. He looked so peaceful and happy. I had never seen him like this, so loving, careful, happy, protective.

I slowly raised my weak arm and headed for his head. My pale hand brushed some of my hair away from his face. A finger accidentally brushed his forehead. My whole body started tingling. He pushed even closer to me. He pressed his head even closer to my neck. His hot breath came closer and closer, but still his heartbeat was slow and dominating, as if he didn't want my heart to beat too fast.

"Derek?" I croaked. I tapped his chest lightly with my weak hand. He looked happy and just incredibly hot, but I still wanted him with me consciously. I want to know what's paiert. I want to know how long I slept. I tapped his chest lightly again and croaked his name more quietly than before.

"5 more minutes." he mumbles absently. A smile crept onto my lips. Even asleep he looked irresistible.

"Derek?" I said quietly. I didn't croak anymore, but my voice was about to break. I was so pathetically weak. I've never been so fragile and weak.

"K-kim?" he immediately jumped up and looked at me happily and surprised. "Kim?" he said unbelievably. I looked at him with a weak laugh and motioned to nod.

"Oh god kim. You're awake." he said still unbelievable but also relieved. His eyes glazed over. He pushed the red button on my bed. A tear rolled down his cheek.

"Do not cry." I breathed. Tears formed in my eyes. I didn't want to see him cry, that hurt me, on the other hand jcb was relieved and overjoyed to see him again. I had missed him so terribly, even though I slept probably 90% of the time I felt empty and vulnerable without him. I need him to be strong. And to see that I had to run away? Would I have found out otherwise? I don't know, but it was still my fault that he felt bad.

"Finally you're awake. I missed you so much my angel." he breathed and laid his forehead on mine. He closed his eyes rejoicing. Without thinking, I leaned against his and closed my eyes as well. How I missed him.

"I'm so sorry. If only I had been that for you." he whimpered without changing his position. No. It wasn't his fault. Everything was my fault. Everything came up again. I'm not good enough for him. I bring him only pain and sorrow.

"Sshhh. Don't ever say that again, I shouldn't have run so-" I whispered as the door swung open. I flinched and pushed away from Derek. This growled dangerously and looked jerkily at the door. A doctor in a white coat came up to us.

"Ahh. I see Ms. Summer woke up. How are you?" he asked me politely.

"I'm feeling weak but I'm not in pain or anything. Oh and I'm hungry too." I said quietly and tried to sit up. It's hard for me. Derek immediately turned to me and handed me gently. He should stop being so perfect. I can not do this anymore. I kept hurting him. Maybe I should give us a chance if he still wants me.

"That's normal. You have to stay here until tomorrow and then go home. You don't have any injuries. If anything happens, just press the button." he said. I nodded and he left the room.

"Do you actually know how scared I was for you?" whispers Derek and hugs me softly. He should stop doing that. i feel so bad

"How long was I gone? What happened?" I asked him quietly. He looks at me sadly.

"You were gone for three days before we found you. Then you stayed at our house for two days and slept. Suddenly your heart stopped beating as fast, almost not at all, and you had to go to the hospital. You were almost t-dead. " tears rolled down his cheeks from his eyes. His voice was shaky. He laid his forehead on mine and exhaled evenly, but still too quickly. I put my hand on his chest. His heartbeat slowed and he exhaled more quietly. "That was four days ago." he adds quietly. I've been separated from him for over a week? OHA. What have I done to him? He suffered so long and so hard.

Tears rolled down my cheek. I start to sob. everything is my fault Everything. He pulled me to his chest and rested his chin on my head.

"Sshhh. All right. What happened anyway?" he asked cautiously. I could tell he was afraid I would push him away.

"II can't. Not yet. Please give me time." I sowed hermaphrodite and quietly. He pulled me closer. I felt safe, protected, loved and comfortable. Everything was perfect. he was perfect Suddenly everything seemed so clear and simple. I needed ibn too. No matter how hard I would fight, I would always suffer. I needed him too, as much as he needed me. My longing for him was just as great for him as sens for me - if not greater.

"All the time you need but please stay with me. I should have been there for you and running after you." he said gently.

"Say that never again." I told him. It's not his fault, it's mine. mine alone We stayed like that for a while. The still was comfortable but also kind of uncomfortable. He wanted to know what happened, but I couldn't tell him. Not yet. i just need time

"Thanks." I breathed almost inaudibly. He pulled away from me and looked at me in surprise.

"For what?"

"For everything." I said and went back to bed. He was still looking at me questioningly, but I ignored it. He lay down next to me and wrapped his arms around me. Slowly and gently he pulled me towards him. I exhaled happily and rested my head on his chest. I felt his eyes on me. He should look wee since I didn't like it. I felt uncomfortable, but why?