55

Derek Pov

"We lose her." screamed a doctor a hundred times. My heart was beating faster than ever. Please Kim you have to make it I sat next to her and held her hand. She was so pale, almost snow white. Her pink lips were getting lighter and lighter in color as well. Her otherwise shiny hair looked brittle and lackluster. I missed her so much. Everything in me broke to see her like this.

"Please. Kim. You have to make it. I need you. Fight." I kept saying quietly with a trembling voice. My heart was beating faster than ever. My wolf screamed in rage and sadness. Tears rolled down my cheeks. As so often, I just realized that I was nobody without her. I needed her to live. I couldn't imagine life without her. I couldn't imagine my life without her. I didn't want to live without her. For me there were only two solutions. Either survive with her or die with her.

I mustn't have such thoughts. She makes it. She is strong. She is a fighter. I squeezed her hand ever tighter. The doctors were still doing the same as a few minutes ago. Exactly what they did, I have no idea, but at least they managed to keep her from dying.

"God. Kim. Please. Fight. You can do this. Believe in yourself. Do it for yourself. For Chris. For your dad. And do it for me. I need you." I breathed in a trembling voice.

"Quick. We're losing them." said one doctor frantically. What? No. If she dies, I'll tear the doctors to pieces. Please. You have to save her.

"Your heartbeat is slowing down." said one guy.

"Prepare everything for resuscitation." said another guy. Grade. They were about to start when she started smiling. She looked so peaceful and free. What is she thinking? Her smile stayed.

"Your heartbeat...

"Your heartbeat..."

"Your heartbeat is stabilizing." shouted one doctor. Suddenly everything relaxed. A stone fell from my heart. I exhaled loudly and closed my eyes. She did it. my angel lives I knew she was strong. I'll never leave her alone again. If something like that happens to you again. Oh God. This time I was there early enough, but next time. I could never forgive myself for putting her in that situation again. It's all my fault. If only I had left her alone, she wouldn't have run away. And then none of this would have happened.

I opened my eyes and looked at her. She was still so bass. Her lips weren't blue anymore, but they were almost white. As she lay there, my heart broke. It's all my fault. A tear rolled down my cheek. I haven't cried for so long, but with her. It was different with her. I can't stand a second without her. The last question was the purest nightmare. Keeps asking where she is, if she's still alive, if she's okay. Another tear rolled down my cheek. I always get so weak and vulnerable with her. I would do anything for you. It drove me crazy not knowing where she is. I always had to know where she was so that if something happened, I could always go to her quickly.

"I'm so sorry for everything." I whispered to Kim and gave her a kiss on the cheek. It was all my fault. She had to go through everything because of me. I closed my eyes again. But this time so that no more tears came.

"Mr Miller?" asked a doctor behind me. I opened my eyes and looked up at him.

"Yes." I said as he didn't seem to say anything. He should finally say what's going on.

"Your friend is doing well under the circumstances. Her heartbeat is weak but stable. Her heart has slowed down as it seems she has not eaten for a long time and has been drinking very little water. She is currently in a coma. At the moment it's still unclear when she will wake up. Maybe in a few hours, days or weeks. All she needs is rest. When she wakes up we'll see, but until then she has to stay here of course." he said. I just nodded and looked back at Kim. I carefully took her tender hand in mine.

She should wake up. Please. I need her. Another tear rolled down my face. Without her, I was just a wrag that she either craved for her or for death. Because I couldn't live with such pain. She was the only thing that helped with my pain. She was like a drug to me.

"Kim. Please wake up. I need you. More than you can imagine." I whispered and kissed her small fragile hand carefully and lovingly.

Hours passed, but nothing happened. I couldn't be near home because if she woke up, nobody would be there. Chris and Kim's dad Daniel were already there. She didn't move a bit. Although. Her chest rose and fell weakly and slowly. I still held her hand in my hand. I wouldn't let her go either. As long as she lies here, I will not let her go. Even if I have to sit here for years, I won't go.

For hours I've had the same question, do I love her, am I in love or what is it between us? Sure, she's my mate and I would never turn her down, but still. Did I fall in love so quickly or was it already love? I kept asking myself whether I loved her, was in love, or just liked her. But I liked her more than friendship. Every time I saw her pale pink lips, I just wanted to put mine on them and never take them off. When I saw her petite, slim, yet curvy, perfect body, I just wanted to pounce and mark it as mine. Every time I saw her I wanted to run to her, hug her, never let go and keep her. I finally wanted to mark her as mine so everyone can see what an amazing, perfect mate I have. Nobody should take her away from me. No one should dare even think about it. She's mine and always will be because I'll just give her up without a fight. Until I die I will fight for her. No one will ever do that to her again. Nobody will harm her. Oh God. I think I'm not in love, I love her. More than anything else.

"Kim. II li-love you." I breathed towards her and gave her a kiss on the cheek and on the forehead. "Please stay with me. Wake up. I need you. Wake up damn. I can't live without you. I need you more than anything in this world." I almost screamed in anger. I was angry and how. I had to travel together not to shake them. I was so angry. Finally she should wake up. I can't anymore. Seeing her like that was beyond cruel.

Kims Pov

"Kim. II li-love you." came a soft, familiar voice. Where am I? What happened? help. who is there with me Even if I wanted to panic, I felt as safe as I do now. I almost jumped when I felt lips on my cheek.

"Please stay with me. Wake up. I need you. Wake up damn. I can't live without you. I need you more than anything in this world." screamed this time the voice with anger. It was Derek. Where am I? He loves me? Derek Miller loves me? No this can not be. I'm probably hallucinating. what happened anyway

I had to struggle to remember, but I managed. I was almost dead but didn't want to die. I had to live for dad, for Chris and for Derek. how long was i gone

I wanted to move, but I couldn't. Funny. I'm probably just weak. I slowly wanted to raise my arm, but it felt so heavy. Nothing works when I tried. It was back to how it was at the beginning. Again everything felt numb, heavy and learned.

Something wet dripped onto my cheek and I felt warmth in my hand. derek Is he crying? No. He should stop. Everything was my fault. I shouldn't have run away, then I wouldn't be here and Derek would be fine. I don't deserve it. I hurt him over and over and over again. I'm supposed to be there for him, love and support him, but instead I hurt him, push him off me and run away. What kind of mate am I. I don't deserve it. He deserves better. A beautiful woman who does everything right and not like me.

He finally wants to stop crying. He should finally stop kissing me. He should finally stop holding my hand. Everything he did made me feel even worse. I was too bad for him. I was too bad as a mate. I don't deserve it. All I deserve is death. I couldn't live without him, but with him I only hurt him and make him cry.

"Kim? Please wake up. I need you. I love you." he whispered. No. He should stop. I want to say something, but I can't. He mustn't love me. I'm not good enough. He has to stop. He squeezes my hand a little harder, like he never wants to let go. Tears fall down my face again. No. He should stop. Please. I can't. everything is my fault Why am I so stupid and run away? everything is my fault Every tear from him. Any sorrow from him. Any worry from him. Everything. Anything that makes him sad. everything is my fault

"Why didn't I stop you? Why was I so stupid and didn't protect you? You needed me and I wasn't there. How could I? It's all my fault and without me you wouldn't be lying here." he says softly and sobs. His voice was about to break.

"No. Derek. It's all my fault. Derek. Please. Stop." I want to scream, but I can't make a sound. My wolf is screaming.

My whole side is getting warmer. derek He lies down next to me. He gently lays my head on his chest. His heartbeat calms me. He puts his arms around me and presses me against him, but more carefully and carefully than ever before, as if he were afraid I would break.

"Please. Please wake up." he whispers before it goes black again and I fall into a deep black hole....