71

Kims Pov

I've been lying here in bed since yesterday. I didn't get up, if only to go to the bathroom, didn't talk to anyone and ate almost nothing. Derek kept bringing me food over and over again. Derek kept wanting to talk to me, or at least trying to. But I blocked. I was so terrified that Ryder would show up at any moment and snatch Derek away from me.

I just lay there. My thoughts were either completely blank or filled with fear. My body ached from lying down. My gaze was always directed straight ahead. Always on this white blanket. The light burned like hell in my eyes. I didn't know why. I felt so empty at the thought of Ryder snatching Derek away from me. But I just didn't stand a chance against Ryder. Whether alone or with Derek. Ryder's pack was just too big. I just couldn't risk anything happening to my friends or Derek.

The door opened, but my eyes were still on the ceiling. The mattress went down, but my gaze was still on the ceiling. Derek's scent filled my nostrils. He wraps his arms around me. I wanted but couldn't take my eyes off the ceiling and look at him.

"Please talk with me." he whispered sadly. A hot tear rolled down my cheek after a long time. I wanted to tell him everything, but I just couldn't and I couldn't. He would put himself in danger and I just couldn't risk that. He would hurt Ryder, but he wouldn't stand a chance against him. Nobody would stand a chance against Ryder.

"Derek." I rasped out. I looked into his otherwise so radiant eyes, which looked at me sadly. "I can't. Please. Soon you might understand." I said softly, my voice shaking, hoping he would give me time. He would never understand it, but still he would eventually know the truth. And the whole truth. My story. From the moment I first saw him. Everything. No more and no less.

"All the time in the world. Just please don't ignore me anymore and it again." he said softly and gave me a kiss on the forehead. I nodded and snuggled up to him a bit. His closeness felt so good. It was allowed to be wrapped around me. gorgeous.

Will lie there for a while until my mowing growls. I should eat something again and I should shower again.

"I'll make you something to eat." he said lovingly, gave me another kiss and got up. He was about to leave the room when I said

"I'll be right behind you, but I should take a shower first." he nodded and smiled at me encouragingly.

Here we go. I grabbed my things that Chris had brought vkorbei and disappeared into the bathroom. Chris was very worried about me, as was dad. But I didn't even want to talk to Chris. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I stripped off my clothes and looked at my body in the mirror. My skin was pale. My body emaciated. Everything tugged at my strength. The last few weeks have gnawed at my strength. If I hadn't continued to accept Derek, I would already be utterly dead inside. Then I wouldn't even look strong on the outside anymore.

I got into the shower and turned on the water. The warm water pattered on my body. i closed my eyes I slowly relaxed and enjoyed the warmth on my body. Some life surged back into me and revived my fibers. The mist of the water enveloped my body. Everything was calm and relaxing.

After some time I turned off the water and got out of the shower. I dried off and changed into panties and a sports bra. A pair of shorts and a top. Finally I didn't feel so dirty anymore, but fresh and well again. Well not really well, rather more well than before. Even a little. I dried my hair a bit and put it in a braid.

I quietly slipped through the house into the kitchen. Derek was already waiting for me with a bowl of yogurt and fruit. i love this food.

"Thanks." I said and smiled slightly at him. It was easier than I thought with the smile. He smiled at me too. I approached him and stood on tiptoe to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. When I wanted to stand up again, he had other plans and hugged me. I enjoyed his warmth and surrendered to the embrace. I even replied. Nowhere else did I feel as comfortable as with him. He just had this effect on me like no other. Even Chris didn't make me feel that comfortable.

Together we went to the living room and sat down on the sofa. Or he sat down and I mih on his lap. He seemed confused for a moment, since I was sitting on his lap voluntarily for the first time. But I just needed his presence. Now and in the future. I just wanted to be with him every remaining second. After all, I didn't know how much longer he would stay with me. I would never know.

"Kim?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Mmm?"

"Cole and the others wanted to train right away and since I didn't train anymore, I wanted to come back too. Would that be okay? You can come too if you want. Otherwise there would be people here too or you can bring Chris here if you don't alone you want." he's so cute when he's worried. He's just perfect.

"I'll come with you if it's really okay." I said quietly. I didn't want to be an appendage or the third wheel.

"No, everything is OK." he said and gave me a kiss on the forehead. His soft lips. Oh my God. They drive me insane every time. Every single time. I just wanted to kiss her every time. But he would never kiss me the way I was going. So I took the initiative and pressed mine out of his lips.

These feelings made my body float. Like a command, my hands went to his neck and pulled him closer to me. He returned our kiss and ran his tongue over my bottom lip. I wanted to tease him a bit and didn't open my mouth, which he didn't like because he was grumbling slightly. His hands ran down my back to my hips to my buttocks. He pinched my buttocks lightly, so I snapped up and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. We deepened our kiss. He broke away from me. I suddenly opened my eyes and looked at him questioningly, slightly dazed. He gave me a cheeky grin and started kissing my neck. Oh God. It drove me insane. Like a command, my hands went to his hair and tugged lightly, causing him to growl softly. He kissed my neck more. A groan escaped my throat and made him grin.

"I love how you respond to all my touches." he breathed between kisses. I took his head in my hands and pulled it back up to my mouth to place my lips on his again.