Survive

“Who told you so?”

I stared at her with a completely frozen mind. Not a single, alternate possibility occurred to me that could replace the assumption that I had. What she was saying or rather suggesting through unsaid words was too ridiculous to even be acceptable as a reality. In what state of position could she ever agree to that? The Liza I know would never do something this preposterous.

“W-what do you mean?” Would she even answer my question? Or dismiss it like the million others I had?

“Rose. I can not let you kill me and my baby. This baby is all that I have got, and I am not going to let you take away this bit of happiness from me. The only one that I left.” The determination in her voice was solemn and shatterproof. It was clear to me that she won’t come with me. But shouldn’t she try? Her fear of something else was imminent, but I didn’t have any clue as to what it was.

“You are putting your baby in danger by staying here. With these men. These merciless and awful, awful, men. I don’t understand how you can forget whatever they did to you, and it won’t be easy to understand, but if we try together then we can do anything, Lizzie. We can raise your baby in a healthy and safe environment and-” A laugh of hysteria broke out from her lips as she interrupted me abruptly and continued.

“You are so magnificently naive, Rose. Do you think my baby will be able to survive outside in this weather? Will I be able to survive outside in this weather? We don’t know where we are and what kind of place this is. If there is any town nearby or not. If we will even find any help outside. There’s no telling about how much we might need to walk and even if we do, where will go? Which direction?” She was angry, and rightfully so. I didn’t take into account the major hurdles that I would face outside. Perhaps I would survive in the bone biting cold, but how will Liza manage?

“Liza. I-”

“No. I am not going anywhere. There is no escape for both of us. So get away from that window.” Her words were final.

The soft touch of the free wind teases me again from the slightest slit of the window that I had cracked open before I got interrupted. Too stubborn and alluring to let me ignore it. I will not get another chance like this to escape again. It was now or never.

“Liza, if I ever meant anything to you, you will let me go.” With that, I turned around and walked my way back towards the window. It slid up and opened very easily, greeting me with the unnatural scent of nature. It didn’t feel as fulfilling as I had hoped it would, now that I am being forced to leave a huge part of me behind. Things were not supposed to turn out like this. I didn’t plan or even imagine that they could. It’s just that there was no other option.

Snow engulfed my feet in a warm cocoon. Such an alien feeling, after being trapped in this house for so long. It was hard to appreciate it though since the urge to turn around and look at Liza one last time felt more suppressing. I wanted to, but nothing except pain would come out of it. Thus, with a sigh on my lips, I moved forwards and away from the house before anyone could catch me. The window shutting behind me, the only thing I heard as I left.

****

My teeth chattered and grind against each other, jaw unable to stay shut as I shivered in this deadly weather. The dark trees stood up tall, reaching up high towards the night sky, casting slender shadows that threatened to jump at me any moment. The only fortune that mother nature provided me was the brilliantly bright glare of the moon. If only it was warm like the sun.

I won’t survive. I had to survive. For Liza.

She was right, and I was stupid enough to think that she and the baby would be able to survive this harsh weather with no destination or any sign of life at sight. I had no idea where I was going or where I could find help. Which direction, which path, which way to stick to or even follow when there are none? Only the trees and the forest and the unforgiving wind. The same wind that sparked so much warmth in me a couple of hours ago when I first connected with it.

The soil underneath was deep in snow. Not too deep, but I couldn’t see my feet every time I took a step on the untouched, white, shimmering snow. Ankle deep. But enough to give my bare feet frostbit.

No. I had to focus on something else. Not the snow, not the cold, but escape. Run. Go as far away from here as possible and find help. Tell them everything and help Liza get out of there safely without getting harmed in any way. If not for me, then for Liza. No matter what has happened to her or what she thinks she can change, I had to try for because she means something to me. She was the only one I had when no one else was there. And maybe once she is away from those men, she will become her true self once again.

Or rather, her past self that I once knew…

All the things she said about being with Able and the other things she confessed flashed through my mind for a split of a moment. I couldn’t dwell on them for long because it caused too much painful commotion in my mind. So many questions that jabbed at me, the answers to which I didn’t want to hear at all.

I stopped and leaned against one of the tall pine trees and tried to breathe properly. These flimsy sweatshirts and sweatpants were no help at all to provide me any sort of heat. Something that I needed very badly at the moment as my frozen hands tried to rub them together to feel anything at all but all in vain. It was only getting more cold by the second. If this went on, then I wasn’t sure I would last.