Chapter 71

"Okay. So why'd you come, then?"

"Look, Ember. I'm not gonna ask for another chance. I fuckin' blew both of them, I get it. I came to apologize."

"You didn't blow the second chance."

"Yeah, I—"

"No."

Alex fell silent, though he seemed wary.

"I was fucking worried about you," I said. "Like, really fucking worried. I don't care if this is something you can't get past or if you don't want to see me anymore or if you think it's, I dunno, weird or something. Like, I get it.

"I don't think it was your fault. It wasn't my fault. It just... is. It's just a weird fucking thing that happened and it's... it just is. And was I pissed when you fell off the face of the earth and just didn't let me know? Yeah, because I was fucking worried. I thought... like, I just thought something bad might've happened."

"Something worse, you mean."

"I thought you might be dead," I said bluntly.

He opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out.

"I'm very glad you're not."

Alex snorted. "Well, uh. Thanks."

"I miss you."

He didn't hide the surprise that time, although surprise wasn't quite the right word. There was a bit of shock, but something darker flashed across his face, something almost painful.

"This can't work," he said.

"What can't?"

"This." He gestured to me and then to himself. "There was already enough against us from the beginning. Now knowing that... I mean, shit, Ember, we already knew I was old enough to be your dad without throwing in the fact that you actually used to be friends with—"

He stopped suddenly.

"With Eddie," I finished.

"You were my son's best friend and I never even knew you," he said. "I look at you and I see another fucking reminder of how much I failed them."

"I don't remember ever meeting you," I said. "That doesn't mean you failed them. I mean, shit, besides Baylee, I don't remember half of Leia's friends, and she's literally friends with them right now. It's not like it's also been twenty-some years."

Alex shook his head.

"What the hell do you want with a guy like me, Ember?" He looked exasperated. "I'm way too old for you, I'm an alcoholic, I've got baggage like a fuckin' airport."

"I don't know, Alex. Maybe it's because you look really hot in those jeans."

He laughed, almost startled.

"More likely it's because you're actually a really great guy with a really good heart. I just don't know how I'm supposed to make you understand that when you don't see it about yourself."

The smile faded from his face and he looked down at the kitchen floor.

"Do you not want it to?" I asked.

"What?"

"Work. Like, are you saying this because you don't want to—"

"You've gotta be kidding me. Of course I fucking want to. It's a matter of whether I should, and I don't think adding you to the list of people whose lives I've fucked up is something I should do."

"Well, why don't you let me make that decision? Seeing as it's my life and all."

He looked torn between striding across the kitchen to kiss me and striding across the kitchen to run out the front door.

"What's your decision, then?"

"I want to be with you, Alex."

My heart pounded as he started across the kitchen. When he kissed me instead of running, I nearly cheered. Since my mouth was otherwise occupied, I settled for kissing him back.

His arms worked their way around my waist and I rested mine on his shoulders. Already my body was responding to him, a slow warmth burning throughout me. He had just slipped his hand beneath my shirt when the front door opened with a loud bang.

We pulled back from each other and I hastily straightened my shirt, though there wasn't enough time for the redness to fade from my cheeks before Leia barreled into the kitchen, Kelsie trailing just behind her.

"Mom, we forgot Pepper's ball! Do you know where it is?"

Kelsie's eyes darted from me to Alex, back to the redness on my face, and burst out laughing.

"Nope, you know what, Pepper's ball is probably at my house, let's go check there."

Leia frowned. "But you said—"

"I sure didn't! Let's go, girls."

"Have fun," I said weakly.

"You too," Kelsie called before slamming the door behind her.

Alex didn't speak and neither did I. We looked at each other, I bit my lip, and then we were both laughing. I was still giggling when he pulled me back towards him, pressing against me as we kissed again.

"We probably have like, an hour," I murmured.

"Should probably make good use of that time," he replied, and moments later his lips were on mine again, he grabbed my hips and pushed his pelvis against mine, and I was staggering as I tried to kiss him and lead him to the bedroom at the same time.

Again it was electric, and again it was like I couldn't get enough of him. Alex took my shirt off and unhooked my bra with a smooth gesture that I just knew he'd done a million times before. That fact didn't bother me. After all, I was benefiting from his experienced hands and confident grip and skilled tongue.

As much as I wanted to have his hands and tongue and everything else all over me, I wanted something else first. Alex was in the process of unbuttoning my jeans when I pushed his hands away so I could lift his shirt over his head. The moment it was off, he reached for me again and managed to unzip my jeans. I slid my hands between his, parting them so I could fumble with his belt buckle.

Alex turned his palms out and gripped my wrists.

"Let me." His voice was husky, almost pleading.

"Maybe you should let me do what I want first."

"What if I don't want to?"

I glared up at him, though I couldn't hold the expression as his eyes sparkled playfully.

"You're going to want to, Alex. Let me take your fucking pants off."

He hesitated before smirking and releasing my wrists. He lifted his hands and shrugged. "Go for it."

I hurried to undo his pants, shoving them down his hips, then dropped to my knees in front of him to pull them down the rest of the way, along with his boxers. His cock thickened as I wrapped my fingers around him, and even more as I stuck my tongue out and licked from base to tip.

I spent a good amount of time exploring with my tongue, tracing along each ridge and vein. Alex was watching me, I was certain: I could feel his eyes watching my every motion, though I didn't look up at him. At least, not until I was ready to wrap my lips around the head of his cock. When I was, I glanced up, meeting his eye as I took him in my mouth.

Alex exhaled a soft groan as I did, his cock twitching against my tongue as I began bobbing my head slowly, stroking his cock as I did.

"Fuck, Ember."

He brushed my hair away from my forehead, gently holding it back as I worked his cock deeper in my mouth. Once his tip hit the back of my throat, he groaned again and his hand tightened in my hair. I moved slowly at first, increasing the pace only when Alex's hand tightened again and his hips thrust forward almost unintentionally.

I choked a bit the next time he pushed his cock deeper than intended and he pulled back, but I grabbed his ass and pushed him deeper in my mouth.

"Fuck!" he grunted, and the hand holding my hair was suddenly on the back of my head, pushing me forward more and more until he was completely, entirely in my mouth.

I did that for a while longer before Alex grabbed at my hair, pulling a little harder than he had previously.

"You gotta stop."

I was almost disappointed to pull back and take him out of my mouth, but I recognized the urgency in his tone. As fun as sucking Alex's cock was, I definitely didn't want things to end there. After all, we were on a time limit, and I still desperately needed him inside me.

He helped me to my feet and kissed me, his breath still coming in shallow gasps as he held my body against him.

"Gonna let me take your pants off now?" he murmured.

"Mm-hmm."

I felt him smile against my lips and his hands moved between us, finishing the job he started as he pushed my jeans down. He grabbed my hips again and turned me, directing me towards the bed and pushing me down on it.

Before joining me on the bed, he tugged my jeans and panties off. He crawled on the bed, parting my legs easily before dipping his head down to kiss my pussy.

It wasn't like the last time; the slow, teasing, gentle kisses around my body had turned to determined vigor as he focused his attention on my clit. Currents of pleasure seemed to radiate from my core, snaking through my body until it reached the tips of my fingers and toes. I writhed beneath him, whimpering as he licked me, craving the sweet friction of his tongue.

He made me come fast, hard, and loudly. There was no long journey of ascent, no teetering on the edge of orgasm. One moment I was moaning softly; the next I was clutching Alex's head, shaking uncontrollably as I shrieked, the entirety of my body seizing.

When it subsided and I had loosened my grip on his head, he pulled back, raining gentle kisses on the inside of my thigh before bringing himself over me. I shivered as he kissed my breasts, the heightened sensitivity of my body almost too much. He handled me delicately, just barely grazing his tongue along my nipples.

I sighed as he caressed me, his fingertips rough but his touch tender, patient as my body recovered. When his lips made their way up to my neck, I reached between us and gripped his cock, guiding him inside me.

That was the end of the tenderness. Alex couldn't seem to hold back anymore and he thrust inside me hard. Then he was moving, fast and urgent and passionately as he plunged into me. He groaned and hooked an arm beneath my knee, pushing my leg up so he could get deeper and fill me completely.

It was a blur, a haze of pleasure, the details foggy. The only detail that mattered was how good it felt, how very right it all felt. His hands skimmed my breasts, gripping and squeezing more than once. My leg ended up resting on his shoulder as he kissed my calf at one point, but at another he was kissing me, body pressed against mine and lips murmuring soft words to me.

I came again, and at least one more time after that before Alex groaned and came inside me. He held me tight as he finished, hugging me to him like he would never let go, or maybe could never let go. I fought to catch my breath, kissing his neck and running my fingers along his back as he rested against me.

"How fast do we have to get dressed?" he asked after moving off of me, his arm extended so I could curl up against his chest.

"Dunno."

He kissed the top of my head.

"Anyone ever tell you you're loud in bed?"

"Is that a complaint?"

"Fuck no."

"Well, don't get used to it." I kissed his chest lightly. "We'll have to be a little quieter once you move in. I don't need Leia hearing that."

He laughed. "Move in?"

"Mm-hmm. You're not getting away from me that easy this time."

"I'm not sayin' yes, but what if I want you to move into my place?"

"Okay, but I practically have a built-in babysitter here."

"Mm. I see your point. You think we'd need a nanny."

I laughed at his gentle teasing, reveling in the beautiful, quiet moments. Maybe it was a bit forward to be thinking about moving in together, but I knew what I wanted. I'd never been so certain of anything, and I'd never wanted anyone more than I wanted him.

I wanted to wake up in his arms. I wanted to watch him help Leia clear the table and teach her guitar. I wanted more dates like our accidental one, more like our circumstantial one, and maybe even an intentional date one of these days.

It wasn't going to be easy. Alex had his issues, and I had mine. Trying to explain why I wanted a man 25 years older than me was hard enough; trying to explain that he was the father of my childhood best friend was going to be even harder. We were going to have to explain things to Leia, something I'd never done. She'd never met a man I'd been with before and I had no idea how she would handle it. Jimmy had been fairly nonchalant about the whole thing, but I still didn't know how much he really knew.

There were going to be fights and disagreements; moments where we didn't understand each other and moments where we couldn't. There would be second chances and third chances. There were going to be bad times, good times, funny times, devastating times, and I wanted nothing more than to share those times with Alex.

Those were all concerns for the future, though. At that moment, all I wanted was to curl up beside him, his arms around me, his heartbeat steady against my cheek as he stroked my hair. I wanted that moment to last forever, or at least until the front door opened with another loud bang and Kelsie was talking loudly enough to cover the sounds of us quickly dressing before Leia could barge in.

*****