Chapter 41 Chapter Thirty Eight

Chapter Thirty Eight

'Moving on is a step by step process, first we leave the events of the past in the past, then we forgive those who have hurt us and open our hearts to love and trust again. Only then do we stop hurting and truly move on'

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Daniella's Crib,

Canada.

Amanda

Six hours, it's been six hours since Denola arrived and he hadn't so much as looked at her. Okay, he might have thrown her a nasty look when she asked about his trip, a look that she interpreted as 'None of your damned business Liar!'

She bit her lips as she remembered how she'd rushed over to him and Kamila the minute she'd seen them but he had brushed her aside and told her coldly that Kamila was tired from the trip and needed to rest.

Her heart broke at his statement, they'd not even divorced yet he was already denying her access to their daughter. Through out the ride home, she'd looked at him longingly, like a child looking at candy he'd been denied.

Denola on the other hand had ignored her and fussed over Kamila who had begun to stir uncomfortably and whimper. Amanda had fixed him a look, 'Let me look after her, she's probably hungry or needs a new diaper' she'd offered.

'I'm handling her just fine' Denola had retorted. Amanda had glared at him but hadn't said anything else till Kamila began to cry. It was like Kamila had  sensed her presence and wanted to be in her arms.

'Denola I know you're mad at me but don't bring Kamila into this, she needs me. Let me attend to her, I'm her mother!' she'd snapped unable to bear his behavior anymore.

'You're her mother? Oh right, yes you are' Denola had scoffed, his tone had been laced with both amusement and mockery. 'Yet you put her life in danger, what a mother you are' Denola had hissed.

Amanda's breath had hitched in her throat and tears threatened to leak but she'd struggled not to show how affected she was by his words.

Daniella who had been in the front seat trying hard to ignore them couldn't hold back. 'Denola, Kamila has  been without her mother for a while now, she's here now. Don't deny them that....please' Daniella had said.

Denola had nodded and handed Kamila over to Amanda who'd let out a breath of relief because she'd thought that he was going to torture her for long.

Now standing right outside his room door, she was wondering if it was the right time to talk with him or if it was best to just give him some space.

Kamila was in bed already and Daniella had retired to her room, wasn't it the right time to talk?

She fiddled with her thumbs nervously before reaching out to knock the door.

There was no response after the first knock so she knocked again and again and again before she heard the shuffling sound from the other side of the door.

The light sounds of his flip flops hitting the ground before he yanked the door open.

"Do you want something?" he asked an angry look etched on his face.

Amanda shook her head a little distracted by his bare chest, God she missed him so much. If only he would stop glaring at her that way.

Amanda cleared her throat "Can I come in? I just want to talk" she said.

Denola shook his head "We've talked about everything already, there's nothing more to talk about" he responded.

Amanda shook her head "I don't believe that.....we can't get a div.....Denola please just give me a chance" she begged.

"A chance to do what, throw more lies and deceit in my face? No thank you, you've done enough"

"I'm sorry Denola, I'm really sorry but throwing insults at me, depriving me of Kamila is not the answer. A divorce is not the solution, Kamila needs us both" Amanda said.

Denola snorted "Wow Mrs one big family, Kamila was barely how many months old when you threatened to take her to Canada with or without me. That was the day you made it clear to me that I was really nothing to you" Denola said.

Amanda shook her head remembering that event, she'd hoped he'd give into her threat and come with them. "I would never have left you Denola, you know I would never...."She started when Denola cut her off.

"You were using our daughter as your weapon of blackmail cause you knew she was my weakness. You don't care about me Amanda, for you it has always been the money and the security" Denola said bitterly.

"It was never about the money and you know it, I love you"

"Lies, how did you manage to get Daniella her identity and this place. Certainly not from your bank, it wasn't about my money you say?" Denola sneered.

"Denola I was in a tight corner you know. I'd just lost Mandy's glam and your mother gave me the card. I never wanted to use it but I had to protect my sister" Amanda explained.

"So many excuses Amanda, that's all you're good at"

"Please just hear me out...." she wanted to reach out to him but she held back.

"So many things for you to worry about but here you are thinking about yourself as usual. Your daughter, Jemila is still in Abuja. Have you made plans on how to get her here, have you even thought about her?" Denola asked sounding very irritated.

"Yes, I..you said you were handling it and Hakeem said Aliu was going to find a way to...." she began but stopped short because of the way he was glaring at her like a dirty stain on a pristine white piece.

"I said... Hakeem said...Aliu said...listen to yourself. Aliu has called this house several times since you arrived, Hakeem also. Have you asked them about Jemila and what plans they'd come up with to get her out of Kadin's house in Abuja?" Denola asked angrily.

Amanda sighed and closed her eyes briefly before opening them to stare right into his.

"Don't do this Denola, anything but this. I'm not a bad mother... I'm not. You, Kamila and Jemila have been on my mind since I got here. There's no day I don't ask about you all, no single passing day. Even Davina, all of you. As for Jemila, yes I spoke to Aliu. He said he's handling it and she'd be here before the end of next month. I trust him to do that, there's nothing I can do. Hajiya thinks I'm dead, and even if she doesn't.....she hates me. Only Hakeem and Aliu can handle that. Why are you being this way? You know why I did what I did. I did it for Halima too, to protect her. I didn't know it was going to end this way" Amanda explained.

"Nice speech, you're very good at sob stories and playing victim. Save the act  for someone who cares, I'm done with you Hassana, Amanda or whatever. I'm done, if you want to talk about Kamila...I'll speak to you but as for our marriage...no way. We're done, my wife...she's dead. Goodnight" Denola said slamming the door.

************

"So, have you spoken to Denola?" Daniella asked at noon the next day, Denola had taken Kamila out for a walk so it was just her and her sister in the house.

Amanda stiffened "Yeah, we're good" she answered.

Daniella cocked a brow about her "Excuse me? I'm your sister not a stranger. Don't give me that, talk to me. Good as in back together good?" she asked.

Amanda sighed "We aren't together anymore, but that's fine. If I was in his shoes, I wouldn't forgive me too. And look at the bright side, I've escaped Kadin and soon I'll be seeing my daughter Jemila. That's...that's good enough for me" Amanda said.

"Are you sure? What's going to happen to Kamila?" Daniella asked.

"Joint custody after the divorce, she might live with I or Denola..." Amanda held back a sob. She knew Denola wouldn't want Kamila to live with her, so that meant she'd be visiting her own daughter. And what if Denola decides to remarry? She would share her daughter with Denola and another woman.

"You don't sound like you want that" Daniella pointed out.

"Well what do you want me to do? Denola doesn't want me in his life anymore" Amanda said tiredly.

"Fight for your man, your family, your daughter. Kamila needs the both of you in her life, together. Not living separately and sharing her like that" Daniella advised.

"Halima I'm tired, I'm tired. I don't want to do any of that. If Denola wants a divorce, so be it" Amanda said.

Daniella shook her head, Amanda had done everything for her, to protect her, get her here, make her safe and happy.

She had to do something for Amanda but what could she do anyway?