I Cannot Do This

Alaska

"I want you, Alpha," I repeat as our lips touch. I kiss him over and over, pulling my body to wrap around him. I want him, but what about Beta Finn? What about the promise I made. What about me and what I want?

"I can't do this," I begin to cry. The truth is I cannot do this. It will put my family in danger if I betray Beta Finn.

Alpha breathing hard; let's go of me.

"Why?" Alpha asks me. "Explain yourself," Alpha says looking into my eyes. He does not want to back down from me. He wants me as much as I want him.

"I promised Finn always to be true to him. I promised to be his wife, I promised to love him, but I do not. I do not love him. Why did we come here and now I found my mate and I have to look at you, and I and and and ... Fuck, why is this happening?" I stumble over my words and begin crying. I cannot stop crying.

"I am sorry," Alpha says.

I cradle my face in my hands. I try to pull myself together, but I am a crying mess. I hear the water moving, and then I look up to see Alpha moving away from me. I do not want him to leave me. I want him to tell me this will be okay and that I can be with him. I need him to be strong and not back down, but he is back down from me.

"What are you doing?" I ask him. I wipe my face and begin walking toward him.

"I will leave you alone, Alaska. I know you are committed to Finn, and I should let you be even if we are mates. Maybe we are not mates, and maybe I am just crazy because you told me no," Alpha says.

He gets to the edge of the water and leaps into the air taking his wolf form. He begins running toward the pack house. FUCK! I come out of the water, leaping into the air and taking my wolf form, chasing him. Why am I chasing him?

"ALPHA!" I call out to him

He stops. I rush to catch up to him. I circle him, and he seems to be enjoying me chasing him. "Follow me to my house. So we can talk about this. There is so much you do not understand," I say.

"No, I have a place we can go where no one will see us," Alpha says.

Alpha begins running in the opposite direction. I follow him. He looks back occasionally to make sure I am following him. We finally reach the top of a cliff, and he waits for me. He looks so regal standing at the top of a cliff. His wolf form is beautiful and sexy. I want him so badly. I have to decide now what I am going to do about our situation.

We look down. "See that, all of that was my father's and now mine. It is not pack land. All of this is mine. We had all of this before he was Alpha. Someday I will share it with my wife and children," Alpha says.

He races down the side of the cliff, and I follow him until we come to a small home at the bottom of the cliffs. He stops, returns to his human form, and sits on the porch waiting for me.

"Is this your place?" I ask him, already knowing the answer. The small home is unbelievable.

"It is, but I never come here. I have the pack house and my house beside the pack house and then this home, but I have never brought a woman here. You are the first woman that has ever come here. You are the only woman I have ever wanted to bring here if I am honest with you," Alpha says.

I am not sure how I should feel right now. Should I feel honored? Should I feel ashamed? "I am very confused," I say.

Alpha looks at me, our eyes looking deeply into each other. What if it is true? What if he is my mate? Should I give him a chance? But Finn is a good man, and Alpha, well, he is Alpha. That is not the life I want.

I sit down beside him. "You sent him away so you could fuck me, didn't you?" I ask him.

I look at him to see if he will be honest with me. "Yes, I think so, but I am not sure what my intentions are with you. I want you. I burn for you, but it is so much more, and I have no idea what to do with these feelings. I cannot explain it to you or myself. But if you want to know if I want to fuck you then the answer is yes. I want to be inside you so bad it hurts," Alpha says.

"I understand that, and I appreciate the honesty. I am not sure what I want or how to handle this. I know you are my mate and I know that I am burning inside to fuck your brains out," I say.

Alpha leaps to his feet and pulls me out of the chair. He takes me into his arms and proceeds into the house. "What are you doing?" I ask him.

"I am going to fuck your brains out," Alpha says.

"Do I get a say in any of this?" I ask him as he holds me close to him.

Alpha leans down, takes my mouth. His kiss is sensual and sweet. I can feel a hunger for him run like an electrical current through my body. He looks into my eyes. "Yes. I will do what ever you say," Alpha says, looking into my eyes.

Fuck it! I am going to let him. I need this.

"FUCK ME" I say as I look into his eyes.