36

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. I just hope it achieved what I wanted it to. A lot of wolves didn't even turn up. Did it really bring the pack together like I wanted, or help them see that Malachi is worth trusting?"

"Well, it helped my dad to change his mind. He's decided to accept Alpha Malachi's request to be his Head Guard. For months he's been declining. Even though he's been unofficially protecting our borders, he didn't want to take orders from and report to the Alpha. But now he's decided to give Alpha Malachi the respect he deserves, and follow him as leader."

"Wow, that's super! I'm so happy he's decided to do that. But why now? Was he ever going to before something changed?"

"I think he was kind of waiting until the Alpha's birthday before submitting to his leadership, but what's a number, you know? I think he's realised, like us, that just because Alpha Malachi is young that it doesn't mean he's not mature enough for the rank of Alpha."

"Yeah, that's right. You can be wise or foolish at any age."

"Sure, I agree. However, being older does mean you have more experiences that can help you make better decisions. But that's not saying we should discount someone just because they're young. We can all contribute in our own way. I think Alpha has a lot of good ideas on how to make this pack better, it's just a matter of time before everyone gets on board. "

"I'm so glad you think that way," I give Devanshi a happy smile and feel some anxiety slip off my shoulders. "I was despairing of anyone thinking that way. So ... who was head guard before your dad took on the position?"

"Gamma Hendrik has been unofficially doing the duties on top of his own. But there's only so much work one man can do, so I've been helping him out."

"Sure, okay."

We chat a bit more, and I find I really enjoy Devanshi's company, that we are more alike than we first realised, and the day goes quickly as we spend time with other pack members together. Her little brother Jarrell joins us, as well as Sammy, and we trek around the territory's residential estates before having lunch together with Devanshi's large family. Her mother insists I don't help with any of the cooking, that it is her honour to serve the new Luna of the pack, and I feel so touched that I can't stop smiling.

I'm stuffed with so much curry and biryani and other oriental dishes by the time we head down to the training field for the afternoon exercise.

"Hey, Ariella, ready to learn something new?" Harlow waves me over to her group of friends and I internally groan. The shewolf rubs me up the wrong way and I'm still figuring out why. With a polite smile slapped on my face, I begin some warm up stretches before our training gets under way.

Harlow takes charge of everyone, telling us the routine and exercises we'll be doing today. An obstacle course has been set up and she puts us in teams to race each other around it. I'm placed in a group of skinny, uncoordinated wolves like myself, and I almost wonder if Harlow wants to see us fail.

The confident, vivacious shewolf prances around in her crop top and short gym shorts, her toned legs and stomach on full display. She commands the men with a flick of her wrist and glance of her eyes. She is everything I'm not, as I look down at my lack of curves and loose-fitting, modest outfit. I know I shouldn't be comparing myself to her, but I can't help it sometimes. So maybe I have other talents, but are they really useful when it comes to leading a pack?

Harlow is everything a Luna needs to be, while I'm a smudge of daydreams amongst the bright stars of space.

A dreamer.

While jogging laps around the field, I spot the Alpha and Beta standing together by the tree line of the western forest. They are facing us, watching the routines with a far off expression in their eyes, like their minds are a million miles away. They are talking in such low tones that I can't hear even a whispered breath. When training draws to a close, an older warrior jogs up to the them, and they stand close to discuss something deeply.

I'm relieved that they seem to be getting somewhere in their investigation into the killer, I muse as I watch them run off together down a leafy trail, disappearing in the shadows of the trees. I can slightly sense Malachi's increased heart rate, as it beats even harder than my own while I'm exercising. I pray he finds answers and we can catch the killer.

Once everyone is safe and happy, we can finally focus on other things.

Things like us.

Once training is over, Devanshi and I head back to the Alpha estate, and I invite her to stay for a snack before she runs back home with another of her brothers.

After I shower and change into clean pyjamas, I go back to the kitchen to prepare dinner for my mate and I, and find Luna Seneca there making a drink.

"Oh, hi," I smile brightly, "How are you feeling? Is your head better?" I remember how terrible she looked when I saw her yesterday, and how bad I felt for making her migraine worse with my playing music.

"I am alright, now," she rubs her forehead with her slim fingers and gives me a cursory glance, up and down my body. I feel so frumpy in my cotton shorts and shirt while she is dressed all in black silk. "I suppose you're here to get some dinner."

I hear her words and see her lips move, but something else plays in my mind. As if her thoughts are projected to me, I get the feeling she doesn't want me here.

How dreadful that you arrived to destroy my peace and quiet tonight. I was just fine before you tripped down those stairs like an ill-bred mongrel.

"Ah, yes. I was going to prepare some food for Malachi. You're welcome to join us," I manage to say around the growing fist in my throat.

Her eyes hold mine in their onyx depths. "That would be wonderful."

I don't know why you think I'd want to spend time with you, let alone eat dinner you prepared.

"Uhh...Yes, it will be delicious, I assure you. I thought I'd make some salad, and steamed vegetables with gravy." I move to get a pot and pan out, before going to the fridge for vegetables. My movements are stiff and wooden, each one planned as I feel Seneca's gaze on every one.

"I suppose I could do with some healthy food and good company."

I should just starve myself and be done with it. Anything to spare the presence of you.

"Did you know there are certain herbs and tisanes that help ease a migraine? I could get some for you next time," I offer warmly despite the cold that has settled in the room.

"Oh, I know a little about herbal remedies myself."

Do you really think you can teach me something? Who do you think you are, some goddess sent from heaven to help me?

Her tone holds a laugh that tickles down my spine and winds around my stomach in tight coils. But she isn't done yet, despite her mouth being closed.

Don't bother yourself the trouble. You probably enjoyed seeing me suffer in pain.

"Listen, Luna Seneca," I muster my most respectful voice. "I'm just trying to be helpful. Of course I understand you don't need me or what I have to offer."

I mentally slap myself. That was so cliche.

"Oh, sweet child. I know you were just being kind," she gives me a sickly smile.

You stupid, stupid girl, thinking you can just come here and fill a position you have no right to. For thinking you have what it takes to actually be a Luna!

Lifting my head and pushing my shoulders back, I look her in the eye. "I'm not here to take your title, or replace you. I apologise if it seemed like that was my intention. I'm here because I am Malachi's mate, and our bond is my priority. Since he is Alpha, I suppose it is only natural that I too hold the rank of leadership one day, when the time is right." I tack on those last words, unsure how she is going to respond.

She blinks once, slowly, keeping her gaze riveted on me, biting into me.

You will never be what this pack needs.

You will never be strong enough to stand beside my son.

It seems I can't even hear what she is pretending to say, as I watch her lips move out of sync with the words that echo inside my head instead.

You are pathetic. Weak. Useless.

"Enough! Please, just stop," I grip my head in my hands and squeeze my eyes shut, unable to hold her intense gaze any longer. It bores into me, shredding me of any self-worth and dignity. It's like she can see every dark thought I have, like she is feeding every dark thought with something even more traitorous, then cutting me down for even thinking of betraying her.

Seneca presses her lips in a line, giving me a subtle smirk, as if she knows all along what I have been hearing.

When Malachi arrives back a short while later, we sit down to eat, but we are all silent. No one has anything they'd like to say out loud, each mind swarming with things that seem best kept to ourselves. The heaviness amidst the screaming silence is giving me a stomach ache.

As I go through the motions of the night, I manage to remain polite with my mate.

Polite, and that is it.

We don't talk.

We barely look at each other.

Seneca's words play over and over in my head. So it seems she really isn't accepting of the fact that I am her son's mate. I am wasting so much energy constantly fighting against her critical disapproval. How can I expect to be accepted as this pack's Luna when she will never give me the title? When she won't let me fulfill my destiny?

I should just walk away, before I lose myself in her ideals of who I should be.

On the other hand, I remember what Devanshi told me, how I am making a difference in this pack. A difference for the better.

Is my sanity worth the struggle that has no end in sight?

By the time morning comes, I have reached a decision.

Malachi awakens beside me, his body heat warming me for a moment as he draws close. I feel his kiss pressed on my forehead, and wild notions of grabbing him around the neck and kissing his lips until we both feel something, tempt me for a moment.

But that quickly passes as sense and reason wash over me.

So instead, I whisper into the dawn shadows that still cling to his body, "I'm going home."

"You're leaving?"

Malachi is shocked, more so than I expected. He stands up abruptly, nearly pulling away the sheets that he had unconsciously scrunched between his fingers, and looks at me with wide eyes. I see a swirl of storms in his blue eyes, more shadow than light in the dim morning dawn that surrounds us, and I might not be imagining the hurt that creeps in the edges and wrinkles his forehead.

It nearly makes me change my mind.

"You're going home...to ForgedHearts pack?" he questions, like he needs to clarify where I call home. Maybe my choice of wards was poor, but this hasn't felt like home, not ever, even in the small moments I'm enveloped in Malachi's embrace. For a flicker in time, being with him feels right, but everything else around us is so wrong.

"Just for a few days."

He visibly relaxes, his shoulders slumping forward and his clenched jaw loosening while he sits on the edge of the bed. I scoot back and pull my knees to my chest.

"It's almost the new moon, and I want to be there for the pack's FireNight, when we celebrate the night together. It's a tradition--"

"I know about it," he quietly interrupts.

"You do? How--"

"I saw you there with everybody, around a fire. They were telling stories, and ....and making fun of you."

Memories of the night Max humiliated me fill my mind, making me cringe. Malachi witnessed all that? Was he watching me from the shadows of the forest? I then remember running into him along the path towards home, and how comforting it felt to be with him after feeling so cast out by my own pack mates.

"Yeah, Max was to thank for that. He's a first class bully. I usually pay him no mind," I brush the experience off with a wave of my hand, not wanting to let it bother me anymore.

"What he did to you was terrible, Ariella. He deserved far more punishment than I gave hi--"

"You what?" I sit up until our eyes are on the same level. Something clicks in my mind, something Luci and Gabby mentioned. "Tell me you weren't the one behind him falling in the lake..."

"Do you really think I would just stand by and watch my mate get tormented like that? Ariella, I will never let anyone hurt you, and especially not get away with it." Malachi's eyes flash bright blue, and he rests his hand over my knees before taking my own hand.

I should feel protected with his declaration to always keep me safe, but there is a deep tone in his voice and glint in his intense eyes that make me shiver. "It's not like I killed him. I made sure he was fine, that someone was nearby to pull him out," Malachi eases the concerned look on my face.

"Okay, I suppose that's fair enough." Truth is, though I'm worried with how far someone might go to protect their mate, I feel special knowing Malachi has the instinct to keep me safe. It's inevitable, with the mate bond growing between us, that we both feel the urge and desire to protect each other, the other half of our hearts.

"So when is the new moon?" Malachi asks, breaking the heavy silence between us.

"This friday night. You'll be able to come for the bonfire, right? I want you there."

He pats my knee and thinks a moment before answering. "I guess I could head over. It's not far, and besides, I think I'm going to miss you when you're gone."

A happy feeling bubbles up inside me, making me smile. "Yeah, I'm going to miss you too. But I just need a short trip to see my parents and friends, and let you get your work done here without distractions." And I need to get away from your mother....

I know the time away will give Malachi the chance to focus fully on the problems surrounding us, as well as help me see things in perspective. I need space to think, to breathe, to be myself without everyone looking over my shoulder criticising me. Being home for a few days with my parents will be just what I need, my bones can feel it already and I can't wait to be surrounded by my peaceful gardens and meadows again.

"Good. I guess I should give Alpha Kaiden a call, and get formal clearance to enter his territory," Malachi smiles wryly.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. No more trespassing from the both of us, huh? But... you should try email. Phone service is terrible in our pack. I mean their pack. My old pack," I give a shaky laugh and avoid his eyes as my words keep tripping over themselves. This whole situation is stringing me tight, and I just want to move on from it.

"Sure, I'll do that." he gives me a warm smile, his eyes sparkling as sunlight spills into the bedroom, glinting off the glassy surfaces.

We get ready quickly, each with plans for the day filling our mind. After heading down to have some breakfast, I chop fruit and toast some muesli for the both of us. Beta Hamilton soon joins us and we all discuss the plans. It is decided that Beta Knight will drive me to the border, and from there I can easily walk to my parents' place. It isn't far and I've done it before.

Hamilton is still munching on food when Malachi heads off and I tidy up the kitchen, with no sight of Seneca around at all. I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps I just imagined what I heard last night, that Luna Seneca was just being nice to me and I misconstrued everything she said to what I was thinking she meant. Maybe my own imagination really is getting the best of me, and I need to rein it in before it makes me do something foolish.

Like going home.

But she isn't the only reason I'm going home, I tell myself as I watch Hamilton check his watch for the tenth time in as many minutes. I want to see my parents and friends, catch up with the Alpha family, give Malachi space to sort out what's going on...

"You waiting on someone?" I ask when Hamilton again pulls out his watch.

"Harlow. She was supposed to meet me here after she went for a run this morning. I don't think she's just going exercising with friends, I think it's something more and I'm worried about it."

"Something more, like... she's meeting a guy friend?" I take a guess, getting the vibe from Hamilton that there's more to this story.

"You women are always jumping to conclusions, aren't you?" he frowns at me.

"Is that your way of confirming I'm right without actually saying it?" I arch an eyebrow and smile innocently.

Hamilton gives me a sidelong glance then rolls his eyes. "Maybe."

I chuckle, then grow serious again. "So who is he? Obviously you don't like him very much."

He snorts and runs a hand through his messy locks. "He's so much older than her, and they're not even mates. I don't see the sense in spending so much time with someone who's not your mate, but she assures me she just likes hanging around him. That he's lots of fun."

"And is that such a bad thing?" I know it's hard to come across good friends, especially ones that make you laugh despite so many troubling things going on.

"Well, if he reads into it too much, or tries to take advantage of her, it's definitely a bad thing. I don't want my baby sister getting hurt by someone who doesn't care for her like a mate would."

"Good point. And she won't tell you what's going on?" I wash up his plate when he finally slides it into the sink of soapy water.

"She's all coy smiles and witty remarks when I ask her anything, telling me all sorts of things but the actual truth," he sighs heavily, leaning against the counter, and I feel his frustration. Harlow sounds not too dissimilar from Luci. Their tastes in adventure and unattainable men is shared and I know it can be a dangerous passion.

"Well, just keep an eye on her to make sure she's okay. Let her know you're there to talk or hang when she's ready. I guess she finds it hard sharing stuff like that with an older brother, but honestly I don't really know. I've always thought it would be cool to have a sister or brother. So she's really lucky." I give Hamilton a smile which he returns, even though he looks like he doesn't fully agree.

Then he checks his watch again, pulling it from the pocket of his slate grey chinos before returning it.

"Why don't you just wear it on your wrist?" I ask.

He grins and pulls it out fully, and I see that the face is attached to a long chain. The gold is vintage with swirling patterns around the face. "Because it's a pocket watch, not a wrist watch."

"Nice. Where'd you get it?" I finger the chain that is heavy, probably solid gold going by the age it looks.

"It was my dad's, and it was his dad's before that. I think my great-grandmother bought it for her mate as a wedding present over a hundred years ago. Since then, it's been passed down through the generations.

"That's really special."

"Yeah. When my dad gave it to me on my thirteenth birthday, he told me what it stands for. He said it would remind me that I always have time to do what's right. Even when others are rushing to make decisions, acting foolishly, I should take my time until I know. Until I know what is right in that moment. It's actually helped me a lot. Instead of letting my instincts and raw gut feelings take over, I always take the time to breathe... and think what he would've done in a similar situation."

I nod. I know how precious it is to have something that reminds you of a lost parent. My violin is a similar item, always making me remember those times my real mother taught me how to play it for the first time. Though I was so young at the time, I can still picture her standing in our home, playing for my father and I in the cool evenings with the cozy fireplace giving us warmth.

The warmth of family can never grow old no matter how many years pass.

Soon Harlow and Beta Knight arrive at the same time, and I give them both a blueberry muffin before we all set off for the day.

It doesn't take long for me to put my bag and violin case in Knight's car, then we are off.

But soon Knight slows before we even exit the estate.

"Why are we stopping?" I ask as the halts outside the gates.

"The Alpha wants to speak to you," he replies casually, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel as I slowly get out.

Why does Malachi want to see me now? Is he going to stop me from leaving? Has he changed his mind, and doesn't want to let me out of his sight for some reason?

My stomach clenches as he walks down from one of the office buildings and over to me with long strides.

"Were you going to leave without saying goodbye?" he pulls me against his chest and buries his head against my neck.

Relief washes over me as I wrap my arms around his slim waist. "Sorry. I didn't know where you were, and I kind of thought this morning was our goodbye."

He pulls back enough to look into my face. "You're not going away forever, right? You're going to come back?" Creases appear between his eyebrows, and I sense he is nervous.

"Of course I'm coming back! I'm not running from you, Malachi," I poke him in the ribs gently and earn myself a smile. It brightens the already sunny day. "I could never leave you," I say as I rub circles over his back. I can feel his strong muscles move even under the thick black coat he wears.

"Good. I think you'd miss me too much, anyway," he teases, leaning down and pecking my nose.

"Hmm, you think? There are lots of other nice wolves in my old pack. I might start liki--"