◆ Seeking Forgiveness ◆

◇ KEL ◇

I knew it.  It was Miles on the phone.  But what and who were they talking about?

His brother?  Why?  Or perhaps Miles only called him up to warn him to stay away from me.

Again.  Then, maybe, they ended up talking about their family's most recent business deals and whatnot.

My curiosity was pushing me to ask Enzo about their conversation, but like Miles said, I should get going.  I shouldn't even be here in this expensive hotel. Or anywhere near the Tomassinis. For my own sake.

Quietly and with some hesitation, I approached Enzo as he stood still on the balcony, the faint sunlight not doing much to lighten up the atmosphere in this part of the city.  "Hey."

Enzo turned to regard me, his phone no longer stuck to his ear.  He put his phone away and just waited for me to get nearer. Then we stood side by side against the balustrade.

"I gotta go."

"Alright," he muttered without looking me in the eye.

"If you're feeling better, I'll go back to the apartment now."

"Yeah. Alright," Enzo replied with a short sigh. His fist clenched atop the balustrade while his abstracted gaze remained skyward.  Then he just grabbed me by the wrist to bring me back into the bedroom.

Trying to match his hasty footsteps while staying calm took some effort. Then he shut the glass door and locked it.  I just stood in front of the wide glass as he pulled the curtains. "What's wrong?" I muttered.

His deepening scowl etched faint creases on his tan forehead, thick brows, and stubbled jaw.

So far, I hadn't seen him totally clean-shaven ever since.  Personal choice?  Or was he just that busy with work and couldn't be bothered to shave every day?  Perhaps both.

"Nothing."  Enzo drew the curtains to keep the sunlight from entering the room, but the fabric wasn't that thick.  Some natural lighting still kept the hotel room quite bright.

"Nothing?" I murmured, knowing it was a huge lie.

Still barefoot, he walked past me and leaned against the wall near the door.  Then he just slapped both of his palms over his face before  heaving a loud, lengthy sigh.  He remained speechless for a moment (as I was) and just concealing his face with his hands as if something profoundly embarrassed him.

Or maybe he was just frustrated by it all.  Or both.  The heart-wrenching sight instantly crushed my firmness on leaving this place now just to be physically away from him.  I didn't need to see him shed a tear in front of me to conclude that he was deeply troubled by something.

Perhaps a lot of things.  Miles included.  I was dying to ask what Miles told him over the phone, but I also didn't want to upset Enzo any more.

"I just don't get it."  Enzo faked a chuckle as he distractedly stared at the bed.  His voice sounded quite nasal and breathy, but he wasn't teary-eyed or anything.  It was obvious he was getting more emotional, though.  "Why they all seem to just...hate me."

"What d'you mean?"  Did he mean his ex? And his family?

"I mean, is it that selfish of me?"  He made a face but kept his gaze focused on anywhere else but my face.  "That I'm choosing the life I want to live?"

"No."

"You know why I asked her to marry me?"

"No."

"I thought... I simply thought it would give me what I want." Enzo scoffed, as if somewhat ashamed by his own words.  "Stability. Normalcy. Some peace of mind." He sighed again.  "Stupidly thought it would make them realize I have my own life and other priorities, besides yielding to their absurd demands all the time."

Their demands?  Was he referring to his family?

"Then she just stabs me right in the back."  He shook his head weakly and faked another smile that didn't show much of his teeth.  It looked more like a smirk of disdain.  "Screws me over like that."

"Sorry."  I could feel his utter disappointment that seemed to be turning into resentment at this point.  Well, I couldn't blame him.  If Miles did that to me, I might just go amok.  Hurt someone.  And myself.

"They all just hate me 'cause I don't want to be one of them.  Because I'm making my own path." Enzo scoffed and shook his head faintly, his words almost hushed now.

His opinions held my complete attention, although they could also just be exaggerations on his part.  But I felt his genuine melancholy and self-loathing just by listening to the sorrow in his somber tone.

It seemed he felt like how people treated him was his entire fault.  His complaints were also starting to sound like Miles' sentiments and longtime grudges against his family.  The parallels were just uncanny.

"You're gonna be fine. It'll pass."  I stood next to Enzo now, imitating his pose by leaning against the wall.  I was nearer to the corner while he was closer to the door.  I should be on my way back to the apartment complex now, but, I just couldn't make myself leave him like this.

On the other hand, I was definitely not looking forward to another discussion about Libby, his ex.  What the woman did to him just made my skin crawl.

"She hated that...I didn't have time for her anymore."

"Uh-huh, sure," I murmured while trying not to scowl.  "Why didn't she just break up with you, though? Why the need to cheat?"

He craned his neck to the side to regard me with his squinting blue eyes.  In midday natural lighting, they always looked pale blue.  "Did you hate me?"

"What?"  I frowned at his attentive expression.  Hate him?   "Why would I?"

"After that...  After what Leo did to you," Enzo mumbled in reply before looking away.

The surprise hit me hard,  momentarily robbing me of the ability to come up with a proper response.  Did he think I was still blaming him for what his brother did to me?

"I know you were avoiding me, 'cause, you didn't want anything to do with me anymore.  Not just 'cause Maxim told you."

"No. That's not..."

"Don't sweat it. I understand, bellezza." Enzo looked away again.  He forced a tight smile.  "I don't blame you for thinkin' that at all."

Oh dear.  And now we're back to discussing his brother and what happened on that island.  While I held in a sigh, I thought of something else to say just to shift the conversation.  Lighten up the dismal mood somehow.

He mentioned he'd been having trouble sleeping after the Falcos told me about his true intentions.  Hence him coming over here just to talk to me again in person.  Either he was forced by his monster of a brother to do some damage control, or Enzo was actually remorseful for not telling me the whole truth.

My common sense dictated it was the former, but every time our eyes talked and every time Enzo said sorry to me, the pain just eased out of my chest bit by bit.

"What do I have to do? For you to forgive me?" Enzo stepped closer to me now, his slightly wrinkled forehead almost touching mine.  "That's all I want, before I leave you alone for good."

"For good?" I scowled at his statement.  Ugh. Why...

Just the sound of his calm, comforting voice made me want to give him a hug.  He'd been a good friend, no matter what Miles and Mrs. Falco thought of the Tomassinis.  I would be forever grateful for all of Enzo's help.

It wasn't just because of money, or his willingness to help me with my problems any way he could.  He just made me feel like I had a real friend in him, even though we only met each other months ago.

Miles thought it was beyond friendship, but Enzo never made me feel like he was forcing it.  Until that day Mrs. Falco told me about his hidden motives, never did I think Enzo was nothing but a manipulative, deceitful person who would do everything to get what he wanted.

He just wasn't that type of guy.  He had always been nice, caring and friendly towards me. Sometimes almost too caring and friendly.  But now he thought he had to get out of my life for my own safety.  "Never gonna contact you again."

Was he being serious?  Not even a single text or call?  Did that mean I'd never get to see him again?  As in never?  My chest ached at the mere thought.  It was probably an exaggeration, but I still felt like he meant it.

Ugh! Why did the people who deserved to stay in my life always wanted to leave and keep me away?  Did the universe hate every fiber of my being or something?

"Never?" I repeated, staring at him incredulously while he blankly gazed at the wall.  I wanted to grab his face to make him look me in the eyes, before he could dash out of the room to tell his driver to take me back to my place.   At the moment, my mind could only focus on his current emotional state. Much to my discomfort.

"For your security."  The guy regarded my expression with his lips and brows still wrinkled by a frown.  "But I need to know first, that you've completely forgiven me for what happened."

"Are you apologizing for him again?" I frowned.  "Or did you forget I'm not the type to just burn bridges?"

"I need to know," he sighed, his eyes focusing on mine.

Before I could say anything and guess his next move, Enzo did the unthinkable.  The guy knelt on the carpet.  He just got down on his knees in front of me.

My breathing instantly halted.  Now my throat felt compressed.  I backed away on instinct, clueless, perplexed by the unnecessary gesture.  But I couldn't move much;  the wall was right behind me.  Should I feel relief?  A sense of clarity?

Give him a friendly hug and say goodbye, like Miles said.  Would that satisfy Enzo?  Would it fix everything?

"Enzo, stop.   Get up."

"Sorry. I'm so sorry for what Leo did." The guy kept kneeling before my stiffening figure.  Then he sighed loudly.  He didn't need to look me in the eye.  Just the regret in his gloomy tone convinced me he was being genuine.

Or maybe I was just being stupid and too trusting again?

"I let you get hurt. Broke your trust."  Enzo pulled a face, his tone earnest but rather droning. "For not being completely honest and..."

"Lorenzio, get up." I wanted to roll my eyes but opted to keep up a straight face instead.

"I shouldn't have taken you with us to the island—"

"No. Stop."

"You forgive me now?"

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