◆ Not Meant To Be ◆

◇ KEL ◇

He tilted his head to stare at my face again, his tone close to pleading.  A glimmer in his beautiful eyes held my attention. His long lashes emphasized his squint before he glanced away and sniveled.

Was he crying now?  Shucks.

In just seconds, my hands already felt drenched in sweat.  "Fine. Just get off your knees."  I looked away, my hands and armpits sweating profusely, not because of his heartwarming gesture but because of his tight grip on my hand when I helped him up.

For a moment, it felt like he didn't want to let go of me.   "I need to hear it."

Hear what?  That I already forgave him?  Did he see me as a vindictive person?  "I said 'fine', Enzo."

"Really?" he murmured.

Clearly he'd never stop begging until I said yes.  He even leaned in to force a clearer answer out of me.  I rolled my eyes and backed away till my head hit the wall.  I covered my face with my palm just to avoid his heedful, intimidating gaze.

He often stared at me like he was poring into the deepest crevices of my soul.  It was kind of annoying sometimes, but I knew he was just that attentive.  He almost always behaved attentively in the presence of others, as much as I found him courteous, thoughtful and respectful.

"I told you: I already forgave you."  How many times did I have to say it?

"Thank you."  Enzo let go of my hand, at last.  He stepped back to give me some space.  Much-needed space.

Then sheer awkwardness punctuated the total silence in the hotel room.  It made me stare at the door.  I should go now, but I should thoroughly examine his physical condition first.  His current mood could be the result of his alarming booze binge last night, apart from the other side effects.  "Did you throw up? In the bathroom?"

"No."

"No problems with your breathing? At all?"  I took a step closer to him so I could put my fingers on his neck to check his carotid pulse.  Not that  abnormal.  Good.  But I still worried a bit.

Excessive drinking, as bad as it was to the liver, could also cause long-term damaging effects to the cardiovascular system.  That meant: high blood pressure, irregular heartbeat, and an increased risk of heart attack especially for longtime alcoholics.  Not that I classified him as such.  Well, not yet.

Instead of letting me do a thorough check, Enzo gently pushed my hand away, plainly dismissing my concern.  "I'm alright," he murmured with slightly furrowed brows as I stood in front of him.

"Just gotta be sure."

"Thanks."  He didn't let me finish and just hugged me tight as we stood in the corner of the room.

It surprised me again, leaving me tongue-tied.  I couldn't do much but hold my breath and try to not get anxious.  I hadn't even showered yet.  Worse:  our intimacy mixed with the undeniable feeling of being physically trapped in the corner was triggering my claustrophobia.  Just a little.

"Thanks for staying."  Enzo rested his warm face in the crook of my neck with his strong arms wrapped around me.  Then he gently kissed the side of my face.

"Okay..." was all I could say.  Amid the hesitation and mild shock, I gave his arm some light pats.  Most awkward gesture ever, but, I just didn't know what to do.  I couldn't simply shove him off of me; he was easily twice my weight and taller.

"Really appreciate it. You're so patient." He chuckled for a brief second.

"Okay," I mumbled. Ugh. What else should I say?  Maybe I should ask him about that phone call with Miles.  "So, why did Miles call you?"

Enzo loosened his hug after my question, but we stayed standing in the corner of the room with his hands still touching my back. "He's just asking about my uncle."

"Why?"

"Stefano told him to throw a party for my uncle. His retirement party." Enzo cleared his throat.  "On their new cruise ship."

The Falcos had a new cruise ship?  Miles didn't mention it earlier, or anything about Mr. Falco telling him to prepare a party for Enzo's uncle.  Was it the reason Miles had to go back to Umbria?   "Are you attending the party?"

"No." Enzo pulled away and snickered, then frowned almost immediately.

"Why not?"

"I'm avoiding Leo," he muttered without looking me in the eye.

"What?"  Did Miles have to be there as well?  Oh no.  Miles and Leandro in the same space...  "Why?"

"He hates me right now."  Enzo sighed.

Well, to my recollection, Leandro Tomassini was the type of person to hate everyone around him for no valid reason.

"He's just obsessed with finding her."

"Alodia?"

"Yeah."

"Why's he upset with you?"

"He thinks I know where she is and I'm keeping secrets from him."  With his eyes closed, Enzo backed off a step and pinched the skin between his dark brows.  "And Pappa's just getting sicker."  Then he muttered an expletive in his native tongue.  Then another. "I don't know what to do next."

"Oh."  I held back a sigh. A part of me ached at his dispirited tone and the serious frustration in his gruff voice. "Sorry to hear that. I was hoping his condition would improve. Somehow."

"Can we talk some more?"  He stared at me,  his keen eyes and his expression showing a tinge of helplessness.  "Or you need to go back to your place now?"

"Not really," I lied.

He nodded weakly and stared at the floor. Enzo kept mum for almost a good minute. "Don't leave yet."

◇

"Leo is getting out of control."

"Someone needs to sabotage their plans."

"He's just risking everything Pappa worked hard for. I just want to keep our business clean. But I'm gonna need Maxim and Ricchar's help."

It was what Enzo told me when I asked him to tell me everything...every single thing he tried to hide from me, and what he was planning to do with his brother's illegal vices.

Enzo had driven me back to the apartment with his bodyguard.  Then Enzo accompanied me upstairs so I could give him some pain medication for his hangover headache.  I was just asking him about what we discussed earlier, then he just started mouthing off about his brother and their family's deal with the Falcos.

I didn't really demand for detailed explanations, but Enzo seemed eager to tell me the rest of his worries and recent moral dilemmas...as if he saw me as someone he could trust.  Someone he could confide in about every single thing that bothered him lately.

So I listened and just let him vent.  But I also kept my thoughts in order.  The realization saddened me.  A close friendship with him just wasn't possible.

Miles didn't scold me over the phone all morning, but I knew well what I should do:

1) Forget about Enzo and his promises.

2) Get the money I owed him and pay him back.

3) Finally, keep out of his life and never expect anything from him again.

Not even a long-distance friendship.  For my family's sake and my own safety,  I should just forget about all of it...forget ever meeting Enzo and his crime-prone brother.

The best plan of action at this point, Gaia and Miles would say.  I did Enzo a favor once. In return, he helped me with my money troubles and some family issues. We were even now.  Right?

Time to face reality and just live my normal, busy student life.  Forget about him.  Move on.  He's just another happy memory to occasionally reminisce about on some days I missed living in Italy.

But he still didn't want to leave yet.   Did he want to keep talking to me about his brother?  About their huge business deal with the Falcos?  Enzo already confessed about Leandro's plan to head the top human trafficking syndicates in Europe, and with Mr. Falco's help.

To my respite, Enzo had also denied his apparent intention of using me for his family's business, contradicting what I had thought of his intentions after  Miles and Mrs. Falco's warning.  Back at the hospital when I was recovering from my injuries, I really believed them when they told me I shouldn't trust Enzo and his friendliness.

"Miles called you? This morning?" Enzo asked as we sat alone on the small and cheap couch in my cramped living room.

"Yeah," was all I said in response to his questions.

"Alright. I'll leave you alone now."

"Hey."  I got up when he just started walking towards the door.  "About the money..."

"No."  Enzo stopped when I grabbed his forearm.  Then he turned to kiss me.  His soft, gentle lips touched my cheek.

I almost choked on my own spit. His warmth just felt too comforting for words.  I stood still while his arms went around my stiff frame.

His palm pressed on my back as he embraced me. "Forget about it."

"Forget about it?"  Just like that?

"Good luck. Ace med school."  Enzo kissed my forehead and took his phone out of his pocket.  He faked a grin when our gazes met for a split-second.  "Just deleting your number, making sure I won't bother you again. But, erm... I'll have the lawyer's office email you."

I just stared.

For an unbearably silent moment,  it felt like the room was just closing in on our awkward exchange.

What should I even say to that?  "Lawyers?"

"Thank you." Enzo touched my cheek with his thumb, caressing my face with his warm hand while we stared into each other's eyes.  "I loved getting to know you."

"You're leaving?" I managed to say without stuttering.  Now my chest and throat felt tight and painful.  I could feel myself starting to tear up at the thought of him just rushing out the door with the intention of never seeing me again.

He turned towards the door and walked off.  "Take care."

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