◆ Take Care, Love ◆
◇ KEL ◇
"Sorry."
Jeez. Not again. Why was he apologizing now?
"Kept you up this late." Enzo cleared his throat as the silver doors swung open.
"It's fine." I glanced at him before we stepped out of the small elevator. My keys jangled in my pocket with every brisk step.
His reticence the past hour didn't encourage me to keep up the conversation. And his bodyguard's right behind us. I'd rather pretend everything's fine.
My palms and armpits turned slightly clammy as I hastily unlocked the door to my apartment. I still felt like crap but I should keep my head up. Not cry in front of him and Berto, his bodyguard. They would get uneasy, then worry too much.
Berto stepped inside once I opened the door. Like earlier, he did a quick scan around the unit after turning on the lights.
Enzo and I stayed in the quiet living room. We stood next to each other, just waiting, pretending all's good. "It's past midnight," he sighed. "I forgot you still have to study. Sorry."
"It's fine. I can manage," I muttered, rushing into the dim kitchen once Berto had checked all the rooms. I walked to the fridge.
Enzo stood behind me. But not too close. Yet his addicting perfume still reached my nose.
Or maybe it was his scent that's stuck on my clothes and skin. I should take another shower. Scrub his scent off of my body. But a bigger part of me protested at the thought.
"You sure?"
"Huh? Yeah." I tried to keep my voice calm and indifferent, pretty sure he didn't wanna stay a minute longer.
Clearly he only asked to come back here to make sure I'd be fine, not in any kind of danger, and because he'd left some of his personal belongings somewhere in my bedroom. Or maybe on the couch.
"I have some time tomorrow," I muttered as he stood by the dining table.
"Ah. Good."
"Here." I handed him a cold glass of water and tried not to react when our fingers touched.
Enzo quickly backed away to give me some space.
"Want some coffee?"
"No. Thank you." A feigned grin tilted his lips before he drank the water.
"Sure."
"I, erm... I'll leave you to it, then," he muttered, leaving the empty glass beside the sink.
Using my phone as a shield, I didn't bother making eye contact with him. I stepped away to leave him by the fridge. "Your briefcase and charger's on the couch."
"Right." He sighed. "Thanks." Enzo retreated into the living room and kept his back to me, keeping a safe distance as much as possible. Like he was suddenly allergic to me and he couldn't bear to look at me again.
Tears began filling my eyes. Something in my gut ached. I stood alone by the hallway, my hands and nape sweating, his tentative movements and muffled footsteps pinning me against the cold wall.
Would he dash out the door once he grabbed his stuff? Just leave without giving me a quick hug? He hadn't touched me since we stepped out of his car.
If it was a conscious choice on his part, then fine. I wouldn't argue. I understood why he wasn't the least bit interested in talking about it. To him, it was nothing but a mistake. A reckless night we should forget.
Just a lapse of judgment. Nothing more. And I should keep it together. Just say goodbye. Stop overthinking everything.
"I'll just..." he muttered while putting away his personal belongings he'd left in the living room. Briefcase. Eyeglasses. Phone charger.
Dawdling by the kitchen counter, I watched him stuff his things into his briefcase, his movements rushed. As if he couldn't wait to get out of here. I held my phone and tried to look unbothered.
"I'm gonna go ahead." Enzo locked his briefcase, straightened, then turned to regard me with a fake smile.
I almost winced. "When's the photo shoot?"
"Not sure." He made a face and glanced away. "We'll meet with the marketing agency soon to finalize details. I'll call you once we, uh..."
"Sure." I nodded. "Sandwich? Want one?" I asked just to help disperse the awkwardness. It was making me want to hide in my room and scream into my pillow. Cry it out.
Actually I wanted to hug him. Tell him everything would be fine. That everything would stay the same. That he need not freak out.
Obviously he was dating someone new. So, tonight should be a secret. Why else would he act this way?
"No, but thanks." Enzo stepped closer and gave me another smile.
It hurt. My insides ached. I'd rather have an argument with him than watch him faking smiles and hiding how he really felt. "Just asking, since it's a long drive to the airport tomorrow."
"No. Don't bother."
I stepped closer to him until my shoes almost touched his, my intakes of breath almost forced. My uneasiness just doubled. Almost like I could feel the tension in his muscles. Feel the uncertainty in his eyes.
"But thanks for dinner and, erm..." He glanced to the door. "I should get going."
"Okay." My heart sank.
He couldn't stand being in the same room with me anymore.
Ouch.
But why kiss me like that? Why didn't he stop kissing me if it felt so wrong? Why would he make love to me that way?
He made me feel like I was the only woman he wanted. But, maybe it was just my brain indulging in fantasies again. It was just a one-time thing for him. He just needed someone to warm up his bed tonight.
Okay. Message received.
"No expectations. No disappointments," Gaia would say.
"Bye." I put on a smile and looked away. "Safe trip."
"Talk to you soon?"
"Yeah." I walked away before Enzo could say anything more. It wasn't like he was dying to give me a hug. Much less a goodbye kiss.
"You're just the side chick. Remember?" My common sense kept mocking me as I stood alone in the dim kitchen, legs going numb.
Enzo sighed out loud.
I kept my back to him and pretended to be busy with my phone. Just to hide my face.
He didn't need to see me crying over something he didn't even wanna talk about. Obviously he wanted to get away from me. Stat. He needed to go back to his reality.
"Take care," I murmured. What else should I say? Nothing would stop him from leaving. The tears filled my eyes, blurring my vision. I stayed put and kept my back to him. My breath caught when his muffled footsteps became louder.
"Mykaela."
Oh dear. Not now. Not that voice...
The tears fell on my cheek. My palm wiped them off before he could see anything. I could no longer read the words on my phone, and breathing's almost a chore now. I put my phone down and grabbed a cold bottle of water from the fridge. For myself. Ugh. My throat's burning up.
Find distractions. Happy thoughts. No more crying! Put on a smile.
He should be rushing out the door in a few. "Sorry."
I stopped drinking and nearly choked. My chest felt like bursting.
Why apologize again? To tell me he truly regretted sleeping with me?
I certainly didn't need him to rub it in my face. Why keep apologizing? "Yeah. I got it. Go."
"What?" Enzo pulled a face.
"I can keep a secret."
"That's not what—"
"Go. The guys are waiting outside." I plunked the bottle in the sink, seconds away from breaking down, the kitchen still dim. Hopefully my words would push him out the door now. "And I have to study."
"I, uh... Alright. Talk soon."
I gave him a nod and pressed my lips shut.
"Mykaela."
"Yeah?" I hastily wiped off more tears and turned to glance at him.
"I'll phone you. Alright?"
"Yeah. Sure."
"Take care."
"Likewise." I cleared my throat and waved him off. "Bye." I held my breath as he approached the front door, putting on another smile, silently praying for him to walk back to me to kiss me goodbye.
But... Wishful thinking.
The tears rushed out of my eyes when he shut the door behind him.
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