◆ Back To Reality ◆
◇ KEL ◇
Idealizing.
Love bombing.
Gaslighting.
Devaluing.
Discard.
No. It wasn't his style. He wasn't that kind of guy.
We met just two years ago, sure...but I already knew the real him. He wasn't a self-serving egomaniac like his brother and their family thought.
Enzo focused on his goals and went after them with remarkable self-will, but he didn't obsess over his own success at the expense of other people. Although he was a lot of things, he was far from a textbook narcissist.
The truth: he's quite the opposite. Generous. Caring. Sweet. Loving. Empathic. Forgiving. And sincere. He didn't think everyone else should cater to his every whim.
Some would say he's a hard 10. And I would say he's out of my league. I didn't deserve someone like him.
Yet he texted me nonstop.
All morning. Past lunch. In the evening. Sheesh. Almost every hour.
He kept sending messages like he wouldn't stop until I finally replied. Maybe the guilt pushed him. Or maybe he worried about my emotional state all night that he just couldn't stop checking on me.
At one point I had to turn off my phone and notifications. Just to force myself to concentrate. I had to study all day. I even called up Gaia to help me prepare for another post-training assessment.
"So, how's the new consultant?" Gaia sounded bored now, perhaps as tired as I was. For about seven hours now, we'd been crossing the tasks off my to-do list via a private video call.
I used the app without Enzo and Miles' numbers on the contacts list. No distractions. Thus more time to get things done. "Good," I replied while trying not to make a face. My laptop screen looked a little blurry now. My eyelids already felt heavy, like my head.
"Are they nice at least half the time?"
"Yeah."
"Where's your next clinicals again?" Gaia yawned loudly as she fixed her dark and braided hair. The brightness of her screen lightened her naturally smooth and honey-like complexion, making her lips look paler than usual. "ER, then back to the ward?"
"Yep." I sighed and reclined, my hands tempted to check my phone again while it sat alone on the couch. Just taunting me. Constantly begging for my attention.
"Did your mom and sis check out your new place yet?"
"Not yet," I muttered while scanning another medical journal. "But Enzo already did," I almost blurted out.
"Why? Busy with work? Jill's going back to the office?"
"Maybe next month. They're busy with the baby. Still trying to find a new sitter."
"Where's Enzo? You hung out all day yesterday?"
Ugh. Of course she would ask. I shouldn't have expected otherwise. "Yeah."
"Did he say how long he's gonna stay there?"
"He's back in Florence now. With family," I murmured, trying to sound nonchalant, pretending to be busy with something.
"Till when?"
"He didn't say."
"Why? He needs to stay in Italy again? Until the trial's over?"
"Not really. He said his aunt needs him to sign something."
"Hmm..." Gaia squinted and tapped her finger on her cute chin. Stress and long nights hadn't really changed her baby-faced look over the years. Only her hairstyle and wardrobe changed. Just like her gorgeous mom.
"What?"
"I think his brother and uncle would get a pretty sweet plea deal. Therefore less jail time."
"The prosecutors have a lot on them now, though, Miles said." I sighed and glanced at my phone on the couch again.
"Nah, dude. They're too well-connected."
"I bet." As far as I knew, one of Enzo's uncles was a high-ranking official. Plus, his favorite aunt was a countess. One of the most real-deal influential clans, like Niccolo said.
"Only a matter of days now. Let's see." Gaia crossed her slim arms below her chest. "So what'd you do with Golden Boy yesterday? Dinner date and a movie? All that cheesy shit?"
"I cooked him a special dinner and let him sleep in my bed, and then we had sex in his new house for the first time," was what I should say.
Even though I wanted to be totally honest with my best friend, I wasn't in the mood for a good earful tonight. And I didn't need another reminder of how stupidly careless I was last night at his place.
I already lost sleep over the whole thing. Unsurprisingly. My brutally honest BFF didn't need to know everything. For now. Gaia might call up my mother and sister and tell on me.
No thanks. "Yeah. Brought him to the carnie. Strolled around," I droned on. "Got some fresh air. Ate ice cream."
She cackled. It was the mocking kind of laugh, like I expected. "You're so done for, Nielsen."
"Thanks." I scoffed.
"Does Miles know? That you're exclusively hooking up with Enzo now?"
"What?" Exclusively hooking up? Well, that one's quite accurate, though. But I shouldn't kiss and tell. I faked a laugh and shook my head.
"What if your sugar daddy's buying you a ring now?"
Buying me a ring? "You sound drunk. Did you finish another bottle before I called again?"
"No." Gaia rocked in her swivel chair and giggled, her eyes narrowing at me. "I'm preparing your brain for the worst, is what I sound like."
My years-long bout with anxiety and depression already made me neurotic enough. I didn't really need to do more "preparing for the worst". Last night was a total mishap, though. A huge anomaly.
"Why would he even think of buying a ring?" I scoffed loudly, although the hopeless romantic side of me dreamed it was a possibility. I shook my head when she kept chuckling. "Hilarious, Kazan."
"So Miles knows? He talks to Enzo often?"
"I don't think so." I pulled a face. "They're not really friends."
"Where's his dad now? I just read somewhere that Stefano Falco went AWOL."
"No idea. Interpol's hunting him down."
Did the man actually leave Italy with his new mistress? Even Miles or Mrs. Falco wasn't 100% sure to this day.
"But they still can't say for sure that he flew out of the country?"
"Yeah. Strange."
"Not that I'm surprised." Gaia shook her head weakly, her lopsided grin showing her white and perfectly shaped teeth. "That guy's real slick. Like I told you. Seriously, I doubt they'll find him anytime soon."
"Slick and selfish." I sighed again.
"If ever they contact you for an interview, call me."
Gee. I really hoped not. "Yeah. Okay."
◇
I checked my clock again. Darn it. Almost midnight.
My eyes and back felt sore. Not to forget the abdominal cramps that just wouldn't leave me alone. Lady days again. Ugh...
I'd been up for about 20 hours now. Studying. Procrastinating. Studying some more. Pretending I was getting things done.
Exhausting, to say the least. Yet sleep just wouldn't knock me out. The past hour or so, I'd been tossing and turning in the dark, my phone just inches away from me. It's even worse that my pillow mildly smelled of his menthol, citrus-y shampoo.
"Ugh." One last time. Just a little peek at my notifications. Then back to sleep. Sure. Just a quick check.
Maybe he messaged me about something else tonight. Something actually important. And something that didn't have anything to do with what happened at his place.
Sighing to myself, I sat up on the bed and grabbed my phone. I didn't need to read through all of his texts again. But the temptation only grew stronger the longer I tried to brush it aside.
Pathetic self-control, really. Or lack thereof.
"Just get it over with," I muttered to myself while squinting at my phone screen.
He'd sent another message. But, like the previous ones, it didn't seem like a case of emergency.
From: Enzo (new)
"Hey. Just pick up. Please."
Received 08:28
"I'm sorry."
Received 09:01
"That was not supposed to happen. I know. It was stupid and selfish of me. Sorry."
Received 09:39
"Tell me you're alright. Just text me back."
Received 11:04
"Sorry, b. Let's talk. Please"
Received 12:42
"Hope your day's going well."
Received 13:37
"Ten seconds. I just want to say something."
Received 14:16
"Just wanna hear your voice today"
Received 16:49
"You don't want to talk to me. I get it. But text me back at least so I'd know you're alright."
Received 18:15
"Back home now. Goodnight."
Received 19:54
"Get some rest. Don't stay up late again."
Received 21:19
"Please just tell me you're alright?"
Received 22:58
◇
Ugh. So many texts...
Did he really have to send this many? Just unnecessary. And overwhelming in a way. I thought he was going to be busy?
He'd never been this desperate to talk to me. Or this needy.
Maybe he just wanted to be certain. He must be itching to find out, also losing sleep overthinking about the possibilities. He must be eager to know whether I did something to absolutely make sure nothing even more problematic would happen after that night at his new house.
Well, I should tell him he didn't have any reason to worry. I wasn't going to get pregnant. Not this month, at least.
The painful, gut-wrenching, bloody crime scene going on in my underwear right now would be enough confirmation. I should do a real test soon just to be sure, but I highly doubted this wasn't the start of a new cycle.
Meaning: no further complications. We weren't in trouble. Nothing to worry about.
It was just one night of overflowing hormones. Reckless behavior. Stress-induced intimacy. Nothing more.
◇
