Crumbling the wall

“Don't break me again

I am delicate

Please, don't break my heart

Trust me I've been broken before…” -Ali Gatie, It's You

"It works like this, your daddy says you need to have soup, so here's the deal, every time you have a spoon of soup, you get a bonus card with a surprise in it which you can receive when you get better." I smiled, and his eyes shone in excitement while looking at his father for permission.

"What kind of surprise?" Alexander asked, settling by my side on the bed while I rested his head against my body.

"Well, surprises are meant to be hidden, right Xander?" I asked, while he nodded with a small smile on his face, melting my heart again and again.

"Awesome, let me write the cards," I was about to stand up when Xavier placed his hand on mine, asking, "I'll get it, where is it?"

I might be trying very hard to ignore the proximity between us, but the sparks which I felt wasn't letting go of the fact that I love him.

Nodding, I said, "Take a pen and paper from my bag." Pulling my hand out of his touch.

Xavier nodded and walked towards the counter where I placed my bag, while he was getting the resources, I touched Alexander's head and he was burning. We have to get him eat something, or we won't be able to give him the medicines.

"Okay, we'll quickly write the cards." Said Xavier as I covered Alexander's eyes with my hands, so he doesn't see them.

"All done. Let me reheat the soup and then we'll start the game." Said Xavier as he made his way towards the kitchen, after some time he was back with a bowl of soup along with twenty surprise cards. "All right, little man, get up so we can get started."

Switching on the lights for perfect lighting, I made him sit on the bed while his back was resting against a pillow. Xavier had the cards ready in his hand while I fed him soup.

He had his first spoon of soup eagerly and asked, "Okay! What do I get?" He asked.

"Hmm, let me see……" Xavier tapped his finger against his chin, increasing Alex's curiosity.

"Tell me, Daddy!"

Chuckling, Xavier said, "Okay, okay… time for Alex's first surprise… one school night, watching TV after bedtime." I clapped.

"Yay!" Alexander exclaimed, excitedly and then started coughing.

I patted his back, wiping his little mouth to which he shown his two little teeth to me in an 'eee' style. Smiling I said, "Easy there, little tiger."

We went on for some time and when the bowl of soup was empty, Alexander looked at me, smiling. "That was awesome, Rose. Do you want to watch TV with me?"

"I-I…." I stuttered and looked at Xavier.

"Stay." Said Xavier or if I had to describe his way, it sounded like an order.

Typical Xavier Knight!

It's fine, Evelyn. You're doing it for Xander, I thought.

"Alright, Xander. But before that you need to have your medicines." I said to which he scrunched his nose in disgust.

"Nonoo," Alexander shook his head while crossing his small hand in front of his chest.

By this time Xavier was back after putting the dishes in the kitchen. He might have heard what we were talking about and that was the reason, he said, "No arguments on this little man." His voice was bit of stern and Alexander looked at me for support.

"I'm on your Daddy's side, little Xander." I said and he sighed.

After gulping his medicine, Xavier turned on the TV, while Alex chose something for us to watch.

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I didn't know how it happened, but at one moment I was laughing and watching Alex's favorite cartoons, while at another moment I was smuggling to a small body. I might have fallen asleep after the tenth cartoon, but I was too comfortable now to move.

Opening my eyes, I saw Alexander's small body trapping me in its grasp. His face was in the nape of my neck, while his hand resting on my stomach and his leg around my waist.

A smile formed on my lips remembering the way I used to cuddle with my mother when I was of his age. Quietly, removing his hand and leg from my body, I moved out of the duvet and tucked him in.

Touching his forehead, I realized his temperature was normal now. Looking at his peaceful features, I didn't want to leave him. But it was night already, and I had to go.

There was a part of you that felt low in status, powerless. There was a part of you that resented other's easier life, though you didn't know if they really had. There was part of you that wanted you to suffer ... and so every once in a while, it broke your heart.

Unearned love!

Misery, guilt, sadness, that was all left with me.

And tonight, there was a part of me that rejected the idea of going away from this little boy. I didn't know, but there was a feeling, if I left him today, I might not see him for a long time.

Whenever I saw this little bundle of joy, my heart exploded with unconditional love, care, and protectiveness. Maybe, it wasn't right feeling these emotions for him, but I’m his aunt. I’m his true family besides Xavier.

"When you're done, meet me in the living room, downstairs." A voice came out of nowhere and when I turned my head around, I saw Xavier's retreating figure.

Wiping the tears that were cascading down my cheeks, I realized I was crying this whole time. Why am I being so emotional, tonight?

Leaning down, I caressed his forehead and placed a kiss on his forehead while he squirmed in his sleep, a smile formed on my lips as I whispered, "I love you, my little tiger."

Saying so, I stood up and glanced in his direction for the last time before leaving his room.

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Descending down the stairs, I walked towards his living room, where I found him standing beside the window in deep thoughts.

There was an envelope in his hand while his other was resting on the sill of the window.

"Why did you call me here?" I asked.

Turning around, I saw his eyes filled with rage, hate and…...tears. He walked towards me until we were just a hand away, pulling out the envelope in front of me, "What is this supposed to be?" He asked in a controlled voice as if he was trying to control his temper.

Furrowing my eyebrows, I asked, "What?" And he shoved the envelope in my nose.

His actions made me take a step backwards as I took the envelope form his hand. Assessing the envelope, my eyes widened in shock. This wasn't the way; I was going to give it to him.

"This… I…" I stuttered, badly.

Pointing his forefinger at the envelope, "Yes, what is that supposed to mean, Miss Williams?" Asked Xavier, gritting his teeth.

Why was he angry? I thought. Wasn't he wanted the exact thing to happen?

"Tell me!" Xavier yelled, and it shook my core as well as breaking the chain of my thoughts.

"Wasn't this you wanted since the beginning?" I asked, keeping my voice void of emotions and calm at the same point.

He stepped forward and held me by my forearms, furiously. "I'm your-"

I knew what he was going to say, "Not anymore, Mr. Knight." I interrupted him in between and wriggled out of his grasp.

My actions might have elevated his anger as in the next moment he pulled me by my wrist against his hard chiseled chest, his eyes were dark, intense and so full of emotions that I was unable to decipher.

I was about to protest but got silenced when his lips captured mine in a furious kiss. He poured his feelings in that one kiss, revealing the mess and storm going on inside his heart.

For a moment I stood completely perplexed, the envelope fell down from my grasp. It took me a moment to understand what was happening with my body. He had one of his hands around my waist and another around my neck, holding it perfectly.

It was an impatient dominant kiss, but soon his words from that morning ringed in my ears and I pressed my hands against his chest instantly.

Using every ounce of my power, I pushed him back, "Are you out of your mind Xavier?" I yelled as tears gathered in the back of my eyes.

Why does he have to crumble the wall that I made around myself every time?