Headaches

“Your life is just like what you make it, not how you imagined it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth.”

•R O S E•

My sadness, my fear, my love... They were simply birds flying around my own head. At first, when I didn't know anything regarding my past life, in fact I still don't, it horrified me in a lot of different matters, like what if someone wanted to kill me or the life growing inside me, or like did the father of my children was my fiancé, husband or what if a mistake and while thinking about all of this, I felt alone, isolated within my mind. But, after a time, I knew it meant I was in control.

Some where I read a very interesting analogy of different kind of birds in our life. They flew away when I started understanding that the sad memories only existed in my head, they were like movies I could refuse to play... and so the "sadness bird" flew away. My fear was nothing at all, less than a trap of fine thread. I had to stop thinking about all the negative aspects and start thinking as well as thanking the new chance that life has given me.

A life lived in the shadows was like a new blossom trampled underfoot, it was my choice to be beautiful, to live in full sunshine... and so the "fear bird" flew away. My love for this world, for this new life, for my children, was enthusiastically reflected back with the passion I gave out, yet others who didn't understand this simple concept were in their own pain, perhaps lonely, trapped with their own birds... and as I understood this secret so my "love bird" came home to roost.

There were days of fear and sadness visiting with their mournful tunes, but I understand that they came at my calling. I understand that it was my choice to let them in, and I could easily tell them to leave. Knowing that my emotions were my own was a power, blaming others injures the self. I was responsible for myself in all ways and I chose to be happy, to lead a positive life, to listen to the melody of love, to pass on the ethics and values to my children. For the first time in so very long, my soul had peace. As if with a quiet choice I commanded a hurricane to become still, and it did.

Today I was happy, knowing it was the first day of my children stepping out of their comfort zone, taking their first step towards their life, but I don't think anyone could tell how happy I was as it was under the surface and mixed with some anxiety. I was not used to the combination; it was truly odd.

Happiness took me up and anxiety brought me down, so in that combination I was simply focused on the task at hand. Perhaps it was like that for everyone starting something new, pleasure at gaining forward momentum and fear of change.

The level of my anxiety grew when I met Mr. Marcus Williams, the love he had for his sister overwhelmed me. Like how could anyone love their sibling so dearly if we look at today's contemporary world, where people didn't even think of prioritizing their family, not everyone but most of them.

I didn't know why I was feeling like this, but the feeling of fear in my chest was waiting to take over. Like, there was something big waiting for me to encounter, a big life changing event. Perhaps it only wanted to protect me or a female intuition. It sat there like an angry ball propelling me towards an anxiety I just didn't need.

A saccade string of a phone's ringtone broke the train of thoughts. Looking over at my phone, my eyebrows furrowed as there was no missed call on mine. I heard the weird ringtone again, and when I turned my head towards the source, my eyes landed on the television on which Isaac, Isabella, and I were enjoying their favorite show.

When I looked at my bundles of joy, I shook my head as a small smile took over features, looking at my children asleep in my lap.

Standing up, I walked in their room struggling with Isaac and Isabella, asleep on both of my arms. Reaching their bed, I carefully tucked my kids in the bed.

"Goodnight babies." I whispered to Isaac and Isabella, kissing their foreheads before pulling the duvet over them. I looked at them one last time before switching off the lights and closing the door behind me.

Suddenly a sharp pain pierced my head, just like it did when I met our current clients, Marcus and his bride-to-be Carolina Walker, along with infamous Mr. Knight. He had this mysterious aura around him, a strange recognition in his eyes whenever he looked at me.

Eyes.

His eyes, those familiar and alluring forest greens. It felt like I knew him from somewhere, but I didn't.

Rubbing my fingers over my temples while I walked in the kitchen as I took an aspirin. The headaches were constant since the meeting for an unknown reason.

Suddenly I heard the rattling of keys and the door opened showing Aiden's face. Today was Saturday night, hence the late-night TV session with my kids. Aiden always spent his Saturday nights with us so that he could spend his entire Sunday with us.

"Hey…" she mumbled tiredly as her voice trailed off. Keeping the keys on the counter beside the door, he walked towards me.

Reaching in front of me, Aiden embraced me as he then kissed my forehead. I sighed, hugging him back as his warmth engulfed me in its protective cocoon.

Moving away a little, he frowned at me, "Headache?" Asked Aiden, rubbing my temples as I nodded in return.

"I made an appointment for Monday at three o'clock in the afternoon." Said Aiden, pulling me towards the couch in the living room as he removed his jacket and placed it on the armrest of the couch.

"But Aiden, it wasn't necessary." I whined while he massaged my head.

He made an appointment with the lady doctor who treated me six years back, "You didn't have any headaches in these past five years. Why now?" Asked Aiden to which I didn't have any answers, or I would say a valid answer.

Shrugging while I sighed at how relaxed I felt when he massaged my forehead.

When I didn't answer his previous question for a few minutes, Aiden might have leaned forward as he then whispered in my ear, "That's the reason I made an appointment, Miss Rose." To which my breath hitched as his lips brushed over my ears, giving me a foreign feeling.

After giving me goosebumps, he pulled away as I stated, "We… we should sleep."

Walking around the couch, he stood in front of me, he smirked and folded his arms in front of his chest, saying, "Sleep... as in together."

My eyes widened as blood rushed upwards, heating my cheeks. I was tongue tied at the moment, seeing me blushing, Aiden stepped forward and leaned down at my level. He kissed my cheek, murmuring, "Goodnight, Rose." And went towards the guest room, which was practically occupied by him.

It took me a few moments to calm my erratic heart. After returning to my room, I took a shower and changed into my nightwear.

While I was going to switch off the lights of my room, I saw Aiden's room lights still switched on. A frown spread over my forehead as I walked towards the guest room.

When I looked into the room, a smile took over my face as I saw him laying down on the bed.

Reaching towards him, "I think I've three children to take care of." I said to which he softly groaned. He was too sleepy to even talk now. I removed his shoes, socks and unbuckled his belt.

Crouching down beside the bed, I brushed his air out of his face to look at his peaceful face. I kissed his forehead and covered him with the duvet before switching off the light and checking on my kids who were fast asleep in their bed.

The day they came back from school, I was more than happy when they began to tell me about their friends and how much they have enjoyed.

Now, maybe this mother's heart could be a little less worried about them. But what about the feeling that was waiting for an ignition of spark to turn my life upside down?