18

Iris Parker

Entering the doors of the house, my mind was still filled with thoughts of my father. He must feel lonely living in that house all alone.

"Finally decided to come home?"

I rolled my eyes when I heard that voice. I sighed, tired and frustrated and confused. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Although I was looking on the ground, I knew that he was right in front of me. I chose to ignore him and walk past him, making my way upstairs. I know the triplets were asleep because it was already past 11 at night.

I may or may not have taken my time to get home.

However, I was spun around when Liam caught me by the arm. I was forced to look at him. His hair was messed up as if he passed his hand through them a thousand times. His emerald eyes looked tired and confused at the same time.

I tried to break free from his hold, but of course he was stronger.

"Liam, please. I'm tired." I plead. He slowly let go and I take this chance to walk away from him and went straight towards our bedroom. 'Our.'

No matter how many times I think about us, it didn't work anymore. We couldn't work anymore.

I started by removing my sandals as I made my way towards my closet. However, the room's door opened and Liam strolled in. I didn't bother looking towards him as I ignored my racing, yet breaking heart.

"Okay, what the heck's going on, Iris?" he asks, still displeased. What's his deal?

I looked at him, making sure that my face was stoic.

"What do you mean?" I play dumb. That wasn't a good move because he starts walking towards me. Instead of moving away, trying to get away from him, I stood still.

He wiped his face with his hands and I understood that he was tired. Probably from work. Probably from me.

"What's wrong with you?"

I scoff bitterly at his question.

"What's wrong with me? I don't know, what's wrong with you? You act like nothing ever happened, like you never hurt me." my cheeks warmed up and I could feel m eyes watering. Ugh, I absolutely hated this. I didn't want to cry. I'm so sick and tired of crying. So I tried my best to hold them back. "Liam, everything's wrong. You and me, us! Us playing pretend that everything's fine, like we're a good, happy family, because we're not."

At this point, I was a sobbing mess, but I wasn't done yet. I had more things to say. Five years worth of pain.

Liam had an expression that I couldn't quite decipher, but he let me speak and he stood still, letting the words sink in.

"Believe me, Liam. I want us to be all complete, I want us all to be ha-happy. For the triplets. Because they deserve it and they don't deserve messed up parents like us. B-but it's getting so hard, Liam. I-... I feel like I'm carrying a heavy weight inside of me and I can't carry it anymore. I can't go on everyday pretending like I'm still not hurt. Because, damn it! Every time I see you, I remember everything."

I continued sobbing and I waited for him to say something.

Now, I could see it clearly. His eyes held pain, sadness and... hurt. I didn't have time to be amazed or be moved that he let down his guards. My legs felt weak and my head started feeling dizzy and so I let myself sit down on the bed.

I was trying to calm my sobbing self down as I looked down on my hands, playing with them and trying to steady my breathing. My eyes widened when in front of me, Liam knelt down and held my hands in his. This wasn't the end of my shock.

When I looked up, my heart dropped when I saw him crying.

Liam was crying.

His tears streamed glisteningly down his cheeks and I gasped inwardly.

"Iris, I know it's hard for you. You were hurt deeply and I was the reason for that hurt. But Iris, can't you see? I'm hurting too. So freakin bad. I see you and our kids everyday and I have to pinch myself to make sure that it's real. That you're here now." he pauses, but his tears still fall.

"I haven't forgotten the pain that I caused you, nor your family. Seeing myself in front of a mirror, I see someone who ruined your life because I was trying to prove myself. Heck, I could never forget that I hurt you. I wouldn't let myself forget that. I would eternally punish myself for doing so. I was so stupid. I'm so, so sorry, Iris. I know you'll find it hard to believe, but I regret everything I did. If I could, I'd undo the past. Even if it means not meeting and knowing you."

I was stunned. I let every word sink and replay everything he said. He didn't sound like he was lying. He was being... truthful.

Instead of being hurt, my chest felt lightweight. As if I was relieved. I guess, in one part, I am because I finally got to hear something from him. But damn, this is so depressing. I can clearly see where this is headed.

We stayed silent for a while, we just held hands like we didn't want this moment to end. Because finally, after all these years, I could feel peace between us. There wasn't any lingering tension, remorse, anger, hurt. For the first time in a long time, it felt like the old us. I held his hands tighter and he presses small kisses behind them, making me smile ever so slightly.

I hoped that this moment just last forever, but all good things must come to an end and someone must end it.

"So, what now?" I ask, hating myself for destroying the moment, although I knew my answer to this. His eyes snapped to me and I watch him. He thought for a while, but his gaze still stayed on me, and finally spoke.

"We could try to make this work out." he said wishfully, but I understood that even he knew my answer. I smiled sadly. I wiped his tears with my hands while he watched me do so.

"I think we already tried out that option, Liam."

"Any other options?"

I stayed silent for a while before opening my mouth.

"We'll be staying with my dad for a while."

-----

Iris Parker

"Mommy, where are we going?" Jacob asked, his face clearly saddening. I finished buckling his seatbelt and Jace was next.

"Yeah, and why isn't daddy coming?" I stopped when Jace asked. Ever since I started packing all of our stuffs, they've been asking questions nonstop. Although I didn't want to be frustrated, I was feeling that at this point.

"I'll tell you once we get home, okay?" I answered, trying to sound patient. As soon as I finished buckling Jace, I closed the car doors and turned around where nanay Grace was standing.

She sniffled, wiping a tear from her eye as she sighed. She held my cheek for a while as she stared at me.

"I don't know why you're doing this, but if you must, who am I to stop you?" she says knowingly. I didn't quite understand her, but I chose to smile and hug her.

"Don't worry, nanay. We'll visit as much as we can." I said sadly and gave her one last hug. After bidding my farewell, I went inside my car and started driving away Venialgo mansion.

From my rearview mirror, I stared as the mansion gradually became smaller in my view until we were out of the gates and it closed.

After my conversation with Liam last week, I slowly started gathering my and the triplets' stuff and slowly moving them to the Williams' residence. Ever since, I rarely saw Liam which kind of disappointed me. You'd think that since we weren't gonna see each other for a long time, we'd spend our last times together.

I still slept in our room because Liam insisted that I stay there while he slept in the triplets' room or in a guest room.

I have to admit, I still felt heartbroken, even more than before. The fact that we ended our relationship was only starting to sink in and each time I was reminded of it, I died more inside. But I can't complain because I was the one who decided on this.

And I hope with all my heart that this is the right decision.

From the back, the Jace, Jamie and Jacob were still asking questions about where we were going. Tired of their questions, I kept saying the same thing:

"We're going home."

The drive was probably half an hour from Venialgo and once we arrived there, the gates immediately opened. I rounded till the front yard where I could see my father standing in front of the door.

A smile graced my lips and I felt relieved that we were here now.

Finally home...

I got out first and my father immediately came towards me to engulf me in a big bear hug. I hugged him back while telling him that I missed him even though I haven't seen him only in a day.

He seemed to only glance behind me and saw the triplets from the car's window. His eyes widened and his eyebrows met as he tried to put two and two together.

I chuckled softly. "Dad, let me introduce you to them."

One by one, I unbuckled their seatbelts and they started hopping off the car. At first, their faces were all frowned up, clearly they weren't happy with us moving. Again.

However, when they focused their attention towards the man in front of them, they looked towards me for answers.

"Boys, this is my father, your grandfather." I say and smiled widely. My dad looked towards me, his mouth agape.

"Is this--"

"Yes, dad. They're my kids." I chuckled. "C'mon now, say hi to grandpa." I instruct the triplets.

At first, they weren't sure on what to do, but they start introducing themselves anyway.

"Hi, grandpa. I'm Jace, the oldest."

"I'm Jamie, the second oldest."

"Nice to meet you grandpa, I'm Jacob."

My father knelt down, lost for words as he took them all in one big hug. Soon, the triplets were complaining that they couldn't breathe and all I could do was watch and laugh.

Liam Parker's POV

They were gone.

When I stepped in the house, I could already feel the loneliness within the walls. This house in honestly uselessly large. A mansion for one person is pretty idiotic, don't you think?

I couldn't stop her, this is what she wanted. She wanted to be away from me and who am I to stop her? After all, I'm just the person who ruined her life.

I carried the beer cans with me to the garden bench where I sat with her when she was crying. Back when she told me how much she was hurting and I couldn't do anything but say sorry.

Damned sorry and all these apologies. As if they do anything.

I realize now that saying sorry is like putting bandaid on a wound that needs surgery.

I hoped my sorry reached her and she would feel how sincere I was and how badly I wanted her to stay. But no. It didn't.

I opened a can of beer and drank half of it in one sip.

"I don't remember teaching you to drink like that." a voice suddenly said and I look, searching for the owner of the voice. Of course it was nanay Grace.

I tried to smile apologetically while putting the cans of beer out of her sight although she already caught me. She walked towards me and sat beside me. The spot where Iris was sitting on.

Nanay Grace was practically the one who raised me since my parents were always busy. They hired her as my nanny and well, she grew on me. She taught me many things and I've always been grateful for that. I'm convinced that if it wasn't for her, I would probably have grown to be much worse.

I remember how she would hit the back of my hands with a wooden stick whenever I did something wrong. She wasn't afraid of my parents, she wasn't afraid of who we were. To her, she was only doing her job. And I guess it worked. She put some sense in me.

"So, what are you planning to do now, anak? Are you just going to let Iris go like that?" she asks. [A/N: anak = my child.] I couldn't help but giggle.

"Funny, you're asking nanay because I have no clue. All I know is that she doesn't want to be with me anymore." I explain.

"And you believe her?" nanay Grace pauses to sigh knowingly.

I turn towards her and smile sadly. "Well, do you have any better idea?" I ask.

"That's not the real question. Hay naku, you kids. Why are you making things so complicated, like those Filipino soap operas, my goodness." she says again and this time, a laugh escaped my mouth. It was only now that I see her pulling our her fan as she started fanning herself. [Hay naku = a Filipino expression that kind of means, oh my goodness.]

"Okay, so what's the real question?"

This time, she turned to me and she raised her glasses and looked at me with all seriousness.

"Do you still love her?"

I was taken aback by her question, but at the same time I wondered why she was asking. She and I both knew the answer to that.

"Of course I still do, but that doesn't mean anything anymore, nanay. She still hates me. She can't stand being around me." I see her rolling her eyes.

"Okay, let's say that she does hate you and can't stand being around you. But what about you? What have you done to show her that you love her?"

Again, her question caught me off guard and made me think for a while.

What have I done?

"Uhm, see, that's the tricky part. How can I show her that I love her if she still hates me? I mean of course I apologized and was nice and gentle--"

"Haaay naku, anak! See, that's the problem with men like you! You all say that you love them and assume all sorts of stuff without even knowing if that's how they really feel." nanay Grace fanned herself some more.

"Then what should I do? She's gone now."

"Are you really the same Liam that I raised? My my, ever since you fell in love with Iris, you've been a hopeless case." she stood up. She walked a few steps beside me where she picked up the cans of beer. "As for this, I'll be throwing it away. One can is enough. I don't want the--"

"It won't happen again, nanay Grace. I promised you that." I smiled. She nodded and said her good night as she left.

I stayed there for a long time, replaying her question in my head.

What have I done?