Chapter 94

‘’Don’t do that, she wasn’t part of that life, and she didn’t have it in her to shoot anyone, she still couldn’t—so leave her out of this.’’ Alexi is warning him; and a hint that he loves his mother comes through, a hint that he’s capable of loving his family properly.

I find that hard to digest, and also saddened that he can feel for people yet still can’t for me. Gino mentioning the kingdom crumbling though? He thinks that kind of love will make him weak? Somehow affect who he is and how he does his job? It makes no sense to me.

‘’Still protecting her Lex, even after all this time? She failed you and turned you into this monster. You changed. Instead of dealing with the fallout, she pushed you towards dad and hushed you up about what you did, so she didn’t have to admit it happened.’’ Gino sounds ready to cry and I cry instead, aching for a little boy who shot someone to protect his family and then got shunned for doing it. His mother saw the killer in him, and instead of being grateful, she made him feel ashamed for protecting those he loved. His own mother showed him women cannot love the monster he is. That women are not to be trusted in terms of letting them close. I hate that he’s made me feel compassion but how could I not. He was a child, he was too young to be made to kill, just like I was too young to be raped and thrown into a world of sex and abuse.

‘’Fuck you, Gino, go home and stop trying to find what isn’t there. This is me … This is who I am and who I was always meant to be. Dad just helped me find my way. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a girl upstairs who needs to be reminded of who exactly I am and what happens when you fuck with me.’’ That icy tone of control is back in place, and I recoil in fear at that pulling back from the bannister and I get to my feet to crouch instead, ready to run, but I don’t want to leave just yet. I want to hear all of this. Clinging onto the last words in case I miss a morsel of insight.

‘’Leave her alone Alexi, I’m warning you. Don’t cross that line, not with her. She means something, even I can tell that, and I don’t believe she’s lying when she looks at you. I think she’s in love with you.’’

How he could even know that is beyond me. I have tried so hard to just be indifferent when he’s around me.

Alexi laughs; a blood-curdling nasty laugh that makes every part of me wither inside, dying with every moment.

‘‘You have no clue … Camilla, not even sure that’s her name, is a born liar. You can’t trust a single thing she does or says. She looks for a reaction and she pushes my buttons to test the boundaries. Don’t think for a second she hasn’t got her eye on a bigger prize, and is just biding her time to take off with the next billionaire who gives her an out. That this wasn’t planned for whatever reason and whatever game she has in her head. She tried to seduce me within seconds of meeting me, Gino! Hardly a withering wall flower of vulnerable when she’s giving me the come on to fuck her for her own ends. She throws tears and vulnerable around like a pro, you are way too soft to realise when a woman is a born player and I won’t fall for that shit.’’

Alexi, you have no clue, and here I thought reading people and scenarios was your gift. Seems you are blinded by hatred when it comes to me. Blinded by this idea that women are incapable of real deep feeling.

Why wouldn’t you doubt that? Your own mother taught you it was true. ‘‘Alexi … don’t destroy what could be, you’re wrong.’’ Gino warns pleadingly.

‘’I have no place in me for love, especially not with someone like her. I wouldn’t trust her with anything, let alone my heart. I sacrificed everything to become head of the family and I won’t give it up for any woman.’’ It stings, breaks me, and even though I hate everything about him and what he does to me, it causes a pain so deep it feels like I can’t breathe. I slump back down onto my arse and stifle another sob while breaking in two inside.

‘‘What are you going to do to her? Don’t hurt her … You know as well as I do it goes against everything we were raised as.’’ Gino sounds wary, and I am crying silently and praying Alexi listens to him. I am dreading the moment he comes up here and cannot imagine what depths of harm he will think up this time. He is sadistic as hell and can turn seemingly harmless acts into soul-destroying torture.

‘’I don’t hit women, I know the code and I follow the rules. It’s been ingrained since we were born.’’

‘‘You don’t need to hit a woman to torture her … I know you, and you will do exactly that in your own way.’’ Gino obviously knows him well enough.

‘‘Why are you standing in front of her? What is she to you exactly, and why the hell do you care so much?’‘ Alexi sounds dangerous, that hint of possession peeking through and I hold my breath and wait.