Chapter 123

He pulls me tighter; his mouth coming to my temple and presses softly. Exhaling warm air across my skin soothingly.

I’m beyond not fine. I’m devastated. She’s the thorn in my happily ever after that just ruins everything.

“This is the last thing I ever wanted. I want you and I want to just have us and a clear future … This shit with Marissa complicates things but all I can do is try to do the right thing at the same time as trying to make you feel better about it.” His nose brushes the side of my face as he places a gentle kiss on my temple again, over my hair. I relax slightly, as always, his touch soothing me even when my hearts shredding.

“I hate it,” I utter softly, finally. “I hate her.” The tears fill my eyes bitterly and he turns my face to him by holding my chin, coming close enough to inhale me.

“You’ll never have anything to be worried about when it comes to her …… I choose you; I’ll always choose you … She’s my past, I’m only putting up with her for the sake of this kid. If I had a choice, she would be nothing to do with my life at all. Our life.” He soothes me huskily.

“Why did you even go back to her?” I search his face imploringly, I’ve never understood it; he told me it was a drunken mistake, but I know how safety conscious he is when it comes to sex, he always carries protection. I ordered him bulk amounts to his apartment in the past. He also had his heart broken by this woman when he was a teenager and spent years after unable to commit to any girl because of her. It makes no sense to me that he would be able to spend just one night with her.

“Honestly? I don’t even remember it … I’m not saying that to make you feel better, I’m serious. I went to a party with Daniel and some guys I know, I was already far too drunk. I don’t even remember seeing her there, but I woke up in a strange bed beside her. I left. She hounded me for days after and I told her to forget it.” He shrugs, sighing, and holds me firmly. I should have known his rich, party-wild, idiot best friend would have been involved in him getting so drunk he couldn’t see straight.

“You don’t remember any of it at all?” I question dubiously. I’ve seen Jake really drunk and he always seemed to remember most of his nights, regardless.

“Seriously, Emma. I swear … You’ve never seen me as drunk as I can get. Last thing I can actually remember is downing shots with Daniel then waking up feeling like an elephant had stomped on my head and there she was, lying beside me. I felt like an idiot and got out of there as quickly as I could. I didn’t even wake her to say see ya!” His frown deepens as he tries to keep my eyes on his.

I could imagine Casanova Carrero high tailing it without a backward glance, he hadn’t been shy about telling women he wasn’t interested.

“This was before the boat?” I ask, thinking back to her behavior and the way she kept trying to make eyes at him, some unspoken message.

“Yes … And, no. I didn’t know she would be Vincent’s date on the boat. I never invited her. When she showed up, I wanted to dump her ass over the side. I already knew I had feelings for you by then, she was the last thing I needed around, she manipulated being there because I wasn’t returning her calls.”

I stare pensively at the front of the plane aware we’re already climbing in the air so I un-click my belt and stretch out taking a deep breath.

“I didn’t like her from the second I met her.” I shrug “There’s something about her.”

“Most of that is show on her part, she can be okay sometimes. Used to be anyway, we haven’t exactly been friends for a long time.” He pushes his arm further behind me, his other scooping my legs and lifts me onto his lap with a quick effortless movement. He sits me sideways across him, cradling me close so we’re nose to nose.

“I love you. I’m not hung up on my ex … I didn’t have sex with her because of any unfinished business, closure, or feelings that still linger. It’s only you … It will always only be you. She’s only in my life now because of circumstances and she would be gone in a second if there was no baby.” He holds me close so we’re forehead to forehead, I smile despite the pain in my chest and the doubts of insecurity within me.

“You always know what to say.” My fingers trace his chiseled jaw, across the roughness of his stubble and seductive lips softly. Finding comfort and cooling the inner turmoil.

“It’s easy with you … It’s always been easy with you. I can tell you anything.” He kisses me lightly, yet I experience only pain constrict across my chest, guilt rises inside of me and tears begin to fall involuntarily

“Hey, hey … bambino? What is it? … Don’t cry.” His hand comes up to smooth away the tears, his expression concerned as he cuddles me closely.

“I know I’m really useless at talking, it just feels so one-sided. You’re giving me so much and I clam up, the words won’t come.” I bury my face in his neck, wrapping my arms around him tightly, afraid he will disappear, clinging on like he’s a life raft. His arms come around me snugly, hauling me as close to him as humanly possible.

“When we were apart, I did a lot of thinking … How hard it was for you to tell me things, how much of a big deal it was that you told me the things you did. It still is. I know how much of an ass I was being, I talked to my mom a great deal after Sophie … Gained some insight into why you’re both this way. I’m not expecting miracles miele. I know I need to be patient and not push you. You’ll open up in time, it’ll be worth the wait when you do.” He soothes softly.

“What if I can never tell you everything? Some of it’s too hard … Too shameful.” I cry against his T-shirt, dampening it slightly as his hands caress up and down my back, trying to comfort me.

“Then I’ll live with it … Nothing that ever happened to you will change how I feel, it doesn’t change who you are to me.” He strokes my hair, his face pressed against it. “Knowing there are things which haunt you, bella, they make me so angry. I want to be the one to take them away, I’ll always protect you.” His voice is raspier, a hint of raw emotion which causes me to lift my chin back to face him.

I search out his mouth fiercely, crushing mine against it and meeting no resistance, his hands come around my body and then head possessively. He deepens the kiss, pulling me hard against his chest, searing into instant heat. Panting, I pull away, desire flooding me and caress his erection suggestively, but he just grins back.

“As much as I want this right now, I’m pretty sure one of the flight crew will walk back here.” He smiles, hovering close and covers my hand over his crotch.

“I don’t care,” I reply defiantly, catching the gleam in his eye, his lips parting and I wiggle my fingers free to continue feeling him out.

“And I thought I was the wild and naughty one.” He grins, needing no more encouragement. Lifting me up, he pulls my legs over, so I straddle him on the seat. He moves me back, so he can unzip his pants and then slides my dress up my thighs. “I love this side of you, bambino … My cute and sexy little wildcat. Who knew once I thawed out the icy exterior, I would find such a fiery little number?”

“You bring it out in me, with all this crazy Italian hotness.” I poke him in the cheek and give him a puckered air kiss. Watching the way he dips his brows, frowning with a smile, which I’m starting to realize is his, you’re too cute for words look. God, he makes me horny.

“Better make this quick then; can’t disappoint my girlfriend.” He grins and pulls me down for another skin scorching kiss.

* * *

“Wake up, bambino … We’re almost there.” Jake’s mouth hovers over mine, his breath soft on my skin. I yawn and stretch out in the seat beside him, confused that I’m in a car and not the plane, I look up and around quickly as I sit up fast.

“How the …?” I’m seriously confused, we’re in a limo and the scenery outside is tropical.

“You fell asleep on my lap, I carried you to the car … We’ll be at the port in a couple of minutes.” He smiles at me, stroking back my hair from my face. “You look beautiful when you sleep, bambino. Completely at peace and cute as a button”. My face heats as the blush rises up and I don’t know why I’m always taken by surprise when Jake is being so sweet, so non-Carrero. I knew he could be this way even when I was only his PA, but he’s definitely upped the ante since telling me he loved me. Fewer sexual references and more adorable ones, he makes me feel desirable and beautiful, like I’m floating on top of the world.