Chapter 124

As for sleeping in peace, I learned a long time ago that sleeping anywhere near him put an end to my night terrors. I don’t wake with dark shadows looming over me when he’s close by, protecting me, even in my dreams.

“Are we in the Caribbean already?” I rub my eyes and sit up in the seat to look out the window, despite the air conditioning blowing on full, I can tell we’re in warmer climates, there’s a stuffiness in the car.

“It’s only a four-hour flight, the yacht’s already docked here; my father likes to come out here a lot, so the boat has permanent moorings.” He hauls me back to him, pulling me into an embrace. “I missed you while you were sleeping.” He grins before sinking a kiss on me that fully wakens me up.

Will this burning desire he ignites ever calm down, I feel like I may self-implode every time his lips meet mine.

Moving against him fully, absorbing myself into the sensation of his kiss, his hands come up around my face and tangle in my hair. We always seem to ignite the passion quickly. He pulls away to lock eyes with me once more simmering the heat between us a little.

“I never ever told you how much I love your hair … I could run my fingers through it like this for an eternity.” He smiles softly again, melting the last ounces of me and I beam back. The car comes to a slow stop as I smile and flick my hands through the short waves with a wink. Cutting it had been the biggest change of all and now obviously one of my favorites.

“We’re here.” He nods out with a raised brow, before turning to slide out of the car. He helps me out after him, the sun immediately blinds me as heat engulfs us, the familiar slide of his shades come down on my face. The movement, so normal, so typical boss Carrero, makes me grin and hug him like a child. This tiny detail and mannerism so vacant in my life of late, it makes me stupidly ecstatic.

He drapes his arm around my back and walks me out into the port, leading me along the concrete walkway past some expensive looking boats until we come to the familiar Rosalina. A beautiful, long, white yacht belonging to his family.

A boat that held only heartbreak for me the last time we were here when he left me alone and I shiver at the memory. He’d gone off with god knows how many women to put distance between us, to try to forget how he felt about me.

As though sensing my memories, he kisses me on top of the head and gives me a squeeze.

“Erasing the past … Remember?” He nudges me, and leads me on board by the hand, fingers intertwined like they belong together.

The last few days have been like some sort of erotic fantasy with endless days of sex, sunbathing, and frolicking in the sea. We’ve been wrapped up like a couple on their honeymoon with only eyes for each other. He was right about coming away, we needed this time to just be together, to just get used to our new roles as a couple and no longer fighting our feelings. Time to heal the hurt. It’s been more about bonding and getting comfortable, talking through the misunderstandings, and just learning to co-exist in a new dynamic. Uninterrupted, eyes only for each other time, just to be.

We’ve been swimming, sunbathing, and reading, eating on the loungers on the upper deck and rarely leaving the close proximity of our bedroom. The staff have given us space and it feels like we’re on the cruiser alone. I guess Jake has given orders that we’re to be left in peace as some forewarning since he tends to have sex wherever he sees fit and I think we’ve christened every sun lounger, flat space on deck, and most of the rooms on the boat.

As I’ve come to learn, Jake’s sex drive is never fading, it has kept us up late almost every night and in bed until late every morning. He’s made love to me several times every day, until my body constantly tingles and glows with his attentions. I never knew it could feel this way, be this way. That someone could make me believe I am so desirable and beautiful or that I could trust a man enough to let him do any of this to me. I never knew that I’d have any reason to like that he had a past like his, littered with affairs and constant one-night stands, but now I see the benefits of it. Years of honing skills and now I’m reaping the rewards with a competent lover.

He’s shown me so many ways in which I can be pleasured, his lack of inhibition at trying things out, his superior confidence at being able to pleasure the female body. He’s taught me so much in such a short time, taking me forward into my own journey of sexual awakening, trusting him more than I ever thought capable, and finding the confidence of being in my own skin. He has a way of taking away my awkwardness, my shyness, and replacing it with a hot, wanton, version of myself who wants to be adventurous. I’m flowering beneath his capable hands, coming into my own, learning new things, and growing within myself. Finally putting part of my past to bed in ways I never thought I could , but it’s because of him. The trust and love I have for him is making me capable of it, he’s healing me just by loving me.

Our relationship has come on so much further than I imagined it could. Talking endlessly about things we like, things we hate, small talk, and general life. Even before, when I thought we were the closest friends, we never had the conversations or laughs that we’ve had the last few days. We talk about the vaguest things, laugh at each other’s lame jokes, and have grown so much closer than I ever thought possible. I feel like I’ve finally got to know him in ways that had been denied me previously, that inner working of his mind and how he feels truly.

I’ve learned that Jake isn’t all of the Mr. Confident he portrays, and his humor is sometimes used to cover what he’s really feeling. All those endless jokes and sexual innuendos were his way of testing the waters, probing to see if I loved him back. The childish part of him, I sometimes see, which is so at odds with the alpha male everyone else sees there. He has insecurities about love, about himself, but he always seems able to shrug them down, ignores them for the most part and lets his stubborn nature tramp all over them. Letting me in, letting us happen has opened a whole new side to him, a vulnerable and scared side, the part of him who was too afraid to tell me he loved me, and it makes me want him all the more.

We’re not so different after all.

Jake has opened up about things that I never knew, never shy at being honest with me and coaxing me to question him on anything I want to know. I’ve met the gentle, attentive lover, the guy who’s forever touching me, cuddling, holding hands, and kissing. With me he’s patient, never pushes me to talk about things anymore, giving me time to just let it happen and not saying anything when I can’t. He tells me he knows it will take time, and for now I’m floating in the clouds.