Chapter 82

No! I want the passion and the hunger, the fast clothes ripping and heated motion of seconds ago. I want him to lose control in the way I am.

I groan and pull him down on top of me, trying to make that clear. Forcing the inner voices away in a surge of stubborn passion. The intensity of this burning longing overpowers me as he goes for my throat, kissing and trailing his warm breath across my skin, goosebumps forming while I writhe and squirm under him in desperation. He pulls what’s left of my skirt free and casually tosses it aside. Confident in what he’s doing, a sign of his “sexpertease” and experience. His hands are at the lace of my panties, and I mentally thank Donna for her love of buying me sexy black lingerie.

Or not!

Now that he’s literally just ripped it off, the thin lace disintegrating under strong fingers. I squeak in surprise as he smiles again, this time against my throat, his teeth against me and the movement of his face, his stubble gently scraping my delicate skin. It makes me arch under him as I moan out.

I love how that feels, how he feels. He’s teasing me, he knows how to drag this out, so I’m literally begging for more and it’s all so new to me. If only he knew how big a deal this was. Sex is easy for him, and he has no idea how broken I really am inside. How, even getting this far is a massive leap for me and I’m really letting go, for him.

He lifts his body to one side and shrugs out of his shirt over me, I can’t help but lock eyes with him, caught in his steady gaze. No hesitation. His pupils dilated, a look of sheer lust and he’s still as seductive as the first time I ever laid eyes on him. No niggling doubts anymore; I don’t care if he fires me after this. I want this more than I want my job.

I yank at the button of his trousers at his waist, impatient to feel him inside of me, to quell this craving, but he stills my hand. He moves down my body trailing kisses across my naked stomach and lower down to my …

Oh fuck!

I writhe back into an arch as his mouth connects with my core and I cry out. I grasp at the floor. I hadn’t expected that at all. He probes with his tongue, and I moan loudly, unraveling … I’ve never felt anything like this in my life and I’m so close to the edge of a precipice, it’s terrifying. No one’s ever kissed me down there. It’s warm and engulfing; sensations so purely divine that I literally roll my eyes back in my head and lose control of my limbs. I writhe beneath his attention, hot waves building inside of me and I’m trying to hold still, squirming and moving and aching. I try grabbing his shoulder, to haul him up. Scared that it will overpower me. I want more than his mouth, but he pins my hands down at my sides, holding me in place.

He continues his erotic assault and I can’t take it … I can’t let go, I can’t release like this, this sensation … I’ve never orgasmed before, but I know that’s what this building inside of me is, and the growing tension is terrifying. Like a tidal wave from my toes. I have heard enough about what orgasms are to figure this is happening.

No. No, no … Yes … No.

“Let go, Emma,” he coaxes me, but I can’t, I’m trying … I’m trying, but my head’s spiraling with confusion.

What happens if I let it happen? What happens if I let him push me over the edge?

I don’t want to fall, I don’t want to reach that pinnacle and drop down, free falling. I like control … I need control … I don’t want this to end, because I’m scared of what happens next. It’s too much. It’s terrifying. I don’t know what’s on the other side.

He shifts over me, bringing my hands above my head in a swift change, pinning them down. His eyes heavy with longing, his mouth parted and breathing hard. I want him so badly it physically hurts.

“Fine … Have it your way.” He raises his eyebrows sardonically.

Was that a threat?

He’s at my mouth again kissing me hard and I can taste myself on him. I know it should repulse me, but it doesn’t, because it’s “his” mouth and what it just did to me was mind blowing. He’s on me once more and feeding a fire inside, taking my mind and pushing all sense away. He pushes down the remains of his clothes with one hand, while the other cups my face to keep my eyes on his.

Oh god … He’s naked …

He presses against me and his manhood is …

Oh god.

I groan at the contact. I lurch back against the floor in ecstasy at the touch of warm skin against me, the slick caress over my most sensitive parts… The sensation overwhelming. I’m so responsive to his body, it’s taking me over like I’m a virginal teen with zero experience.

There’s a rip of foil, a condom packet; I guess he keeps them handy and he moves for a moment … He’s back quickly and in one slow easing movement he slides inside me, softly, gently pushing in, as I exhale with pleasure and grip his shoulders … It overwhelms me completely as I’m stretched and filled deliciously in sheer ecstasy. I gasp and grip his upper arms, grinding into him, hungering for more. The feeling unlike any sex I have ever had before. Overtaken with an insanity for him; he begins moving slowly, bracing himself over me on his muscular arms, caging me in as I grab and pull him down. The motion sending extreme waves of pleasure and ache through me. Jake starts to find his rhythm, screwing me.

His mouth next to my ear, breathing heavily as he too experiences insane pleasure. It’s too much … that build again as he’s thrusting slowly and surely, his lips on my neck. He shifts to pin my hands down again, so his torso presses against my body possessively.

It’s actually happening, Jake’s making love to me. We’re having sex!

Slow and sensual, building into a faster harder frenzy, with a rhythmic stroke, he knows exactly what he’s doing and is barely breaking a sweat; while I claw, grip and try to hold myself together from rippling waves that are trying to unravel me. I’m full of him, stretched to capability and yearning. I’m climbing higher and higher while my body heats and trembles and tingles crawl up my skin.

Oh my god, oh my god.

It’s all I can chant, not sure if it’s internal or out loud as the lapping waves of extreme pleasure wash over me with every thrust. I’m moaning and groaning, oblivious to my own sounds and caught in the best moment of my life.

It feels beyond good … It feels like everything I ever wanted it to feel like. Could only imagine it would be. The heaviness of that reality slaps me in the face so suddenly, like an ice bucket of water and I start trying to fight for control against the waves running through me as fear begins to fade in ever so coldly.

What are we doing? We can’t … We shouldn’t be doing this.

I struggle with my mind, my biggest nemesis, unaware that my body is responding to the doubts it’s pushing to the forefront and pulling away from him. Reality clawing at me like a ravaged animal, trying to force my mind back to attention. Terror taking grip and I know I’m losing a battle with myself.

“Stop over thinking, Emma.” He grunts into my ear, hoarsely, his breathe running over my throat, kissing my naked shoulder, biting, nipping. I turn my face to his and breathe him in, nuzzling his hair and trying to get back to the lost abandon of moments ago. To get immersed in how good this feels. How good he feels. Desperate to join him again.

He’s changing the angle and he thrusts harder. I moan out and arch against him as a spasm of pleasure courses through me unexpectedly. I can’t hold on for much longer. He’s managed to pull me back so effortlessly and I pant through a cry. I’ve never had sex like this … I’ve never felt this kind of all embodying sensation, and it’s terrifying yet amazing.

What about when he stops? What happens to me once I’m done being ravaged by my boss?

The tears sting my eyes unexpectedly and I try to bite them back … emotional stupid thoughts kicking in to remind me what Jake is like with sex.

What about Marissa? … What does she mean to him?

I grasp at his shoulders turning my face away; afraid he’ll sense the fear and doubt. Overwhelmed again, fighting the building tension within my body as it nears a greater height. I’m still clinging to him, still pushing against him, despite my emotional turmoil, and it only confuses me more. My body wants something my brain does not, and all I can do is move in motion with his thrusts, groaning and clawing to make him push harder. Submissive to what he’s doing.

I’m so confused.

“Stop it, Emma,” he pleads … He grabs my chin in one hand and forces me back toward his assault of kisses.

Stop what?