Chapter 60

Driving the few blocks to Arrick’s apartment, we are equally silent, both lost in our own heads. His occasional glances my way don’t go unnoticed, but I have no clue how to feel, and I’m dreading the moment we walk into his home and come face to face with the girl who has shared his bed for almost two years. Everything is a mess; I should have stayed miles away from him like I planned, but somehow that tiny flicker of hope inside of me is destroying all my willpower.

Natasha comes out of the nearby bedroom as we enter Arrick’s penthouse apartment, her little brown curled head and slight frame just make her look like a little lost puppy dog, and it’s clear by her makeup-free face that she’s been crying at some point. Natasha is never without her makeup, and seeing her now, I see she is a lot plainer looking than I ever realized. She has that girl next door quality and looks a lot better when made up. It feels odd to see her like this, like I am seeing the girl beyond the outer shell for a moment.

“Oh, my God, you found her. Sophie, we have been so worried about you.” She rushes forward and gives me the smallest of awkward hugs that makes my skin crawl. I stand stiffly, endure it and don’t reciprocate, glad when she lets me go. The thing with Natasha is that despite how much I hate her, and I always make it pretty obvious, she always seems to act like she cares. I’ve never been able to figure out if it’s an act for Arrick’s benefit, or she really is genuine. Either way, I think it makes her weird, and kind of sad really.

Standing back shyly, she regards me with an open face and wide eyes that give her the look of a wounded animal, and I can’t help but feel a tiny tug of guilt. Knowing what I know now, knowing how much she loves him, I would have to be inhumane not to feel something for her. She looks so lost.

“I love your hair; you look so grown up.”

So, with one little comment, I take it all back and eye roll, irritated that she always has to point out my age in any way she can. Has always treated me like a five-year-old sibling whom she had to stepmother at every opportunity, and right now it will earn her a boot in the teeth with the mood I’m harboring.

“Yeah, cos I’m like only four years younger than you, Natasha.” I shake my head, moving past the girl who is two inches shorter than me. She’s wearing a floral dress that makes her seem more youthful than me at this moment and could really use a belt to cinch the waist and some baby blue pumps instead of the ugly black heeled things adorning her feet. She has never had any real sense of style with her clothes, and it just adds to that hopeless little mutt act that is no longer endearing me, instead it just makes me feel suffocated.

I catch a glimpse from the corner of my eye of the girl moving to Arrick and throwing a hug on him. He embraces her for a second then moves out of her arms and saunters off into the spare room to throw my bag in. For a broken-up couple, who have been fighting, I can see no evidence of anything different between them. Same aloof behavior as the past two years of their relationship, and I wonder at what they are actually like in the bedroom if they are like this in life, then immediately shake that thought away as repulsive. I don’t want to think about him with anyone in the bedroom, not now, or ever.

“Your family will be so relieved, have you called them?” Natasha is back behind me in the open-plan kitchen as she fills a glass of water. I resist the urge to tell her to back off as she turns gracefully, and I smile emptily at her, putting on my fake nice mask and hoping to God she has no intention of staying here for long. I have so much pent up angst, misfiring on all my cylinders, that I cannot trust myself not to lose my shit at her.

“I’m sure Jake has probably done the rounds on my behalf.” I answer flatly. She turns back to what she is doing, moving to the ice maker on the refrigerator and topping up her drink noisily.

“It’s never good to be out alone in this city when you’re female, Sophie. I know you’re a headstrong and feisty girl, but anything could have happened to you. You really need to be more careful. People love you and just want you home and safe.” Natasha has the nerve to try and lecture me, even if she is delivering it with a soft wispy voice and fake adoring eyes. I never understood why she even bothers to act like she likes me. It’s pathetic.

“Yeah, thanks for the advice.” I reply emptily. Annoyed with the thousands of emotions running through me, concerning her. My hatred is wavering as all I can think of is the fact she has no clue about what is even going on in her boyfriend’s head. For a moment, I feel mad at him that he hasn’t told her yet, but I also get it. He loves her, he knows how much it will hurt her, and more than likely make her question not only theirs but our entire relationship. It’s messy, complicated and will only hurt her, no matter how he sugar coats it.

“I think she’s tired, Tash. She needs some shut eye and space before we sit down and talk this out. Do you want me to take you home?” Arrick reappears to the side of us, leaning against the doorjamb from the room I used to use often. He’s uneasy and not his normally solid and cool self. It’s the first time I notice how tired he is, and the shadow of stubble hinting around his jawline shows he’s not as perfectly manicured as he usually is. Maybe these are the subtle hints of a relationship torn apart. I expected to see more, to be honest. But then again, it’s Arrick, and obvious emotion is not his forte.

Natasha hesitates and she pauses mid movement as her hand tenses on the glass she is laying down on the counter. That flicker of heartbreak on her face, and then it’s replaced with an unaffected mask.

“Yes, I have work early, so I’ll be better at home tonight, to give you two space.” It’s clear she doesn’t want to leave.

“Come on, I’ll take you now, while Sophs gets settled. Give her some space.” His eyes flicker to mine, a guarded look I have no energy to even try to decipher and just shrug. If it’s a warning not to run, then it’s pointless. I have nowhere to go and as he has commandeered my cell, no one to even call either.

“I’m going to use the bathroom in your room. I want a bubble bath and mine only has a shower.” I respond blandly, averting my gaze to the girl who is preparing herself to leave. Watching her move around slowly, delaying the moment and just feel agitated and so very tired.

Leaving after getting no objection, I turn and head towards his room, leaving them to do whatever it is they are going to do. He moves from his standing space and walks across the living room too, so we sort of pass right by each other in the center. His arm grazes mine and makes it tingle crazily, a soft unintentional sweeping of limbs. He tilts his head towards me with a heavy look, something in it that makes me instantly breathless. It’s like a heady, new tone to whatever is between us. I glance at Natasha guiltily, an instinctual reaction and see nothing to suggest she even notices.

“I won’t be long. Then we can talk.” He says it softly for my ears, his eyes move to my mouth and back again to my eyes, he swallows and then moves off at a faster jaunt. I don’t bother to look back and see him guide her out. I continue, throwing off the internal butterflies and push the door open to his room, trying to ignore whatever that was, and not dwell on anything from the past hour of my life. My head’s going to self-implode if I do.