Chapitre 9

The icy cold closed me inside. Nothing but water surrounded me.

I struggled against Luke's strength, but it wasn't him crouching on me anymore. I tried to push the wolf's huge body away from me. He just dug his claws more firmly into my shoulders. The fur didn't move an inch.

This time I couldn't surface or catch my breath. It was like a rock pressed against me. Metallic threads of blood mingled with the water. My throat roared for air, but there was none.

I screamed and shook myself. The water smothered my despair and let nothing but thousands of bubbles rise to the surface. I felt my eyes change color and narrowed them.

No...

My wolf hissed at the threshold. With the last of my strength, I struggled against the weight on me. I breathed in. Nothing but water entered my lungs. I coughed but choked on the waves flooding my mouth. With every second, the strength dwindled from my muscles.

My eyes closed. I barely felt the weight lift from me, only my body descending further into the darkness.

Inside I kept screaming.

The water swallowed me up. Suddenly something grabbed my wrist and pulled me back up with all his might. A tingle ran up my arm. My weakened muscles followed the movement like a doll. An arm grabbed my waist and hauled me up.

My head dove through the surface and I immediately choked the water out of my lungs. A gush spurted out of my mouth and I gasped for fresh air. My whole body shook with a fit of coughing as the arm held me. Still, I clutched those warm shoulders because they were the only thing that saved me from drowning.

I kept wheezing until my chin leaned dully against the warm neck. I wrapped my legs around my back so he wouldn't let me fall back down. I opened my eyes and slowly my sense of smell came back.

Astor.

His arm pressed me against him as if to make sure I couldn't escape. If my muscles weren't so tired, I would have tried to pull away from him, but I had wasted all my energy underwater. Now I lay there while his heartbeat raced beneath me. His body was warm and firm. The metallic smell of my blood filled my nostrils. My wolf tried to heal the wound, but without any energy, she just tormented herself.

With powerful movements he carried us through the water. Only my feverish gasping for air disturbed the peacefulness of nature. I saw two wolves blurred in front of us, which were also swimming towards the bank. A spark of relief lifted the weight from my lungs.

Luke was safe.

Astor got out of the water with me. Back on land my full weight weighed on him, along with the dripping uniform, but he didn't seem to mind. His arms carried me under his thighs and he slowly twisted my body.

He carefully placed me on the ground on the bank, right next to the two soaking wolves. My eyes fell on the blue sky above me. Astor's shadow bent over my face so his stormy eyes stared down at me. I could feel his hands feeling my trembling body while I was still trying to get enough air through my throat.

His lips moved quickly, but no sound got through to me. Had he been talking the whole time? DA... Did he say my name? Nothing but fatigue weighed down my body. I had to sleep. My eyes fluttered to...

Dull tones made the floor tremble. A growl? Suddenly, pain shot through my shoulders as someone grabbed, right into the wounds. I groaned and opened my lids. The momentum was enough to bring my eyes back to reality.

I blinked. Several heads were bent over me, but only one of them was close enough for me to recognize it.

Astor.

New energy surged through my muscles and I tried to sit up. I was able to support myself halfway on one arm. New cough rattled through my body trying to clear the last drops scratching my lungs.

Water ran out of my ears and restored my hearing. The muffled noises turned into excited words.

"-drowned!"

"-others should stay here!"

"-trouble!"

The other heads disappeared and I never took my eyes off Astor for a second. As if sensing it, he turned his eyes back to me. Some of the anger drained from them and he slipped his arms under my knees and back.

With a jerk he lifted me into the air. I leaned against his shoulder and was grateful for the warmth he radiated. My body was completely limp. Right now I didn't want to do anything but sleep. My wolf nodded internally. We needed new strength to warm up and heal the wounds.

Only now and then did I cough the uncomfortable feeling out of my lungs. My hands began to tremble, whether from cold or lack of strength I couldn't tell. Astor hugged me closer. Anger glowed from him. I put my hand against his chest as if to calm him down.

"I can't even tell you how incredibly angry I am."

His voice vibrated against my hand and I dropped it in my lap. With strong steps we broke out of the forest and headed straight for the tents.

"I don't care," I said, surprised myself where the courage suddenly came from. Maybe from the near-death experience I had just a few minutes ago...

His hands gripped me tighter.

I stared pointedly into his eyes, which twinkled down at me. They were still the color of heated brown, though his heart was pounding hard against his chest. He must have had perfect control over his wolf.

I could see he was about to say something. Instead, Astor took his eyes off me and stared straight ahead. Part of me would have preferred it if he yelled at me. But instead of letting it out, he opted for freezing cold.

"Why are you ignoring me?" I asked, almost hurt by his actions. His eyes darted to mine, holding me captive.

"If you don't want me to lose control, all that's coming out of your mouth now is thank you," Astor replied, and my stomach clenched. I let my eyes drop.

"Thank you," I whispered hoarsely, my wet strands covering my face. I squeezed my lids shut to stop the tears forming behind them. I couldn't cry.

With all my strength, I swallowed the lump in my throat just in time before Astor pushed the tent open with his back. Contrary to his harsh words, he laid me gently on my bunk. Part of me longed for his warmth, but another part just wanted to sleep.

"You should change into a new uniform."

Astor put one on the end and his eyes lingered on me. I gave him a penetrating look and finally he turned around. I unbuttoned my uniform and peeled off the wet cloth clinging to me. Not a minute later I had the new one on.

The longing for sleep began to burn in my eyes. I flopped back onto the bunk, completely drained of energy.

"Your smell," Astor whispered and my eyes shot open.

The water must have washed away the effects of the potion. I felt for my bag and pulled out the bottle. I took a long gulp of the gross brew and stared at the cookies.

"You have permission to rest for today," Astor said, drawing my attention back to him. I nodded, far too powerless to utter another word. I laid my head back on the bunk. The sounds around me died away and i turned to the side...

Someone grabbed my shoulder and my eyes widened. Luke stood over me. To my relief, the claw marks on my shoulders had healed. Nothing but regret shimmered in Luke's eyes as drops of water fell from his strands.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am. Please, can you forgive me?"

"I've never been mad at you," I replied. "It was my fault. I shouldn't have talked you into something you were unsure about..."

His expression eased a bit.

"Nevertheless... because of the incident, we didn't do anything other than swim in the lake all day. We had to save each other. We didn't even get dinner."

"All day? I asked, looking around. The other soldiers poured into the tent, all dripping with water and exhaustion. Behind them was only the darkness of the oncoming night. Some glared at us.

"Yeah, it's 9 o'clock already," Luke replied, his stomach growling.

Suddenly someone ripped open the tent entrance and my own stomach dropped a floor, but not from hunger.

The rectangular blank came in. His hair hung in wet strands to his shoulders and he was panting like a bull. His eyes scanned the tent until they landed on me. My heart skipped three beats as he charged towards me.

The redhead walked in behind him, a grin on his face. Luke got up and stood protectively in front of me. He raised his hands in a sign of peace.

"Take it easy," he tried, but the brute pushed him out of the way and grabbed my collar. He hoisted me into the air and pinned me against the wall. My legs were soft as pudding.

"Because of you we had to swim all day today and we didn't get any dinner," he ground out between his teeth. I wanted to turn my head to the side at the bad breath, but my fear prevented it.

Thoughts raced for an answer that didn't result in his fist approaching my face. As if he had looked inside my head, he swung back.

"Stop!" I shouted.

The brute looked at me in confusion, but his clenched fingers stayed in the air. I only had one chance...

"Do you want cookies?"

***

"Easy," Luke tried, but the brute pushed him out of the way and grabbed my collar. He hoisted me into the air and pinned me against the wall. My legs were soft as pudding.

"You made us swim all day today and we didn't get dinner," he ground out between his teeth. I wanted to turn my head to the side at the bad breath, but my fear prevented it.

Minds raced for an answer that didn't land his fist in my face. As if he had looked into my head, he swung.

"Stop!" I shouted.

The brute looked at me in confusion, but his clenched fingers stayed in the air. I only had one chance...

"Do you want cookies?"

-

The brute stared at me in complete shock. His fist hung in the air, forgotten, like a chilled threat. He drew his eyebrows together.

"Yes!" he yelled, almost surprising himself. He let me fall back onto my wobbly legs. I immediately rummaged in my pocket under the brute's menacing gaze.

Relief quickened my heartbeat as I felt the cool metal of the cookie jar. I lifted it out and opened the lid.

"Here."

As if it were a treasure chest, he stared into it with almost childlike anticipation while the sweet smell of oatmeal wafted around us. He put his paw into the can, which almost slipped out of my hands under the force.

I couldn't do anything but watch as he stuffed my only glimmer of light into his mouth and chewed it with relish. He brushed the crumbs from his beard and stared at me. His eyebrows were still down.

"Thanks," he snarled, scooting toward his bunk. I breathed a sigh of relief. Everyone around us started moving again, as if not expecting the brute to pound me to a pulp. The redhead seemed the vanished one Taking in anger as he glared at me, his green eyes piercing me like a snake's, maybe I should have offered him a biscuit.

"Simple muscles, simple man," whispered Ulf, who himself was still looking at the brute in shock.

"Are you all right?" Luke asked, brushing the dust off his uniform. I just nodded and took a deep breath. I was done with that day. Maybe tomorrow would be better...

"Slow down!" Ivan yelled as my lungs burned. My whole body was a battlefield and my leg muscles were shaking and screaming for a break. My arms had turned to lead and I could barely lift them.

Nevertheless, I continued to torment myself through the parkour of trees, hurdles and a mud pit. The gray rain that pounded down on us added the last bit of misery that brought new tears to my eyes.

Do not cry...

Why did I always cry?

Just one step at a time. I hauled myself back to my feet, mud covering my whole front. I looked back and my eyes widened. The redhead was hot on my heels and had his eyes fixed on me.

Fresh adrenaline shot through my veins and gave me new strength for the last run. I was pretty far ahead for being last too many times in the past few days. Endurance, strength, speed... I couldn't even list everything where Edgar's scratching pen had documented my defeat.

But this was finally not just about strength, it was about agility, and for the first time, my size gave me an advantage that I clung to with everything I had.

The redhead's angry footsteps drummed across the forest floor, louder than the raindrops. He caught up. I could feel Astor yelling at me with his eyes. He was at the finish line with the others and secretly cheered me on. My wolf didn't want to disappoint him and I certainly didn't want to lose.

Ever since the incident at the lake, Astor had avoided me as much as he could. But every time we had to swim, his gaze would fall on me, as if to make sure it didn't happen again.

The goal was not far away. I ignored the pain in my lungs and pushed my legs on, the last few meters. The redhead got closer with every step, as did the target. I could feel his angry breath on the back of my neck.

"Go, Dan!" Luke called through the rain, continuing to cheer me on.

In the last few meters I felt the redhead wanting to pass, but my wolf growled inwardly. With a leap I threw myself forward and crossed the line. Luke started cheering. He slammed his hand on my shoulder and I almost fell over from the force.

I gasped for air, unable to get a word out. Still, I glanced at Astor, who wore a contented expression behind the stone facade. The rain dripped from his strands, turning them darker than they actually were.

"You've got 20th place," Luke said, and as if on cue, Edgar, sheltering under a tree, scribbled around on the list. For me, that was a win.

I'd failed so many times over the past few days that even that could cheer me up. I hadn't been able to keep up with Luke for a long time, but that was okay. My body had slowly adapted to the training and was stronger than ever. Still no comparison to most of the other wolves here, but at least faster and more agile.

Suddenly someone grabbed my shoulder and jerked me around. The redhead glared down at me, but a tremulous growl sounded across the wet forest floor. Our eyes snapped to Astor, whose hands were balled into fists. Still, he had his wolf completely under control. His eyes were still the warm brown, blazing with anger.

"We don't need bad losers in the army," he growled, and I could almost smell the redhead's fear. He let go of me, and the brute came toward him.

"Come on, Mael," he said, but Mael slapped his hand away.

"Leave me," he growled, disappearing into the crowd of dripping wolves. His piercing gaze would have scared me were Astor not so close his scent mingled with the rain.

The last ones finished, among them Ulf. Unlike the others, it didn't seem to bother him.

"That's all," said Delta Ivan, who had walked the parkour one more time. Then he turned to us. Our gasping breaths were in the air and I felt the rain dripping down the back of my neck.

"You're halfway through hell week. Get a good night's sleep because the fighting will start tomorrow," Astor said, and while the others cheered and high-fived, my heart sank one floor down.

"Finally, this is what I've been waiting for," Luke said, pushing up the sleeves of his uniform.

"Be careful not to be disappointed," Ulf replied and without saying anything I agreed with him.

We made our way out of the forest back to camp. The trees thinned out for the tents and the rain overhead started to lighten. I yawned loudly while the sun was already setting behind the horizon.

After all, it was slowly getting warmer and soon it was finally summer.

Tomorrow's fighting worried me less. Over the days I had learned not to look too far ahead. Now I could sleep in peace. My eyes widened.

Not in a wet uniform.

The smell of fresh dinner made its way up my nostrils and set off a reservoir in my mouth. Everyone headed straight for the dining tent.

"Go without me," I said and turned to the tent. "I want to put on some dry clothes."

There was no understanding in Luke's eyes, but he shrugged.

"If I ate as little as you do, I'd be as small and skinny," he said with a smile before disappearing into the crowd with Ulf.

I breathed a sigh of relief and made my way to the tent. The sounds behind me stopped and I shuffled to my bunk. I looked around, listened once, but no one was around.

I dried off and pulled out a clean uniform. With every little movement, my muscles screamed with resistance. A yawn ran through me and I looked down at the hard fabric my neck had grown accustomed to. Actually, he looked pretty inviting.

I lay down and closed my eyes. Food could wait.

Just for a second...

I woke with a start as loud talk pricked through the fog of sleep. Outside, the crickets chirped while the other wolves slowly lay down on their bunks.

"Hey Dan, are you alright?" Luke asked, hands clasped behind his head.

"Yeah," I said, clearing my throat. "Just tired."

He nodded and stared at the ceiling. It was getting quiet around us. Sleep crept back into my body like I was weightless...

An unpleasant smell invaded my senses and suddenly something pressed over my mouth.

My eyes widened and I struggled, but my body was dragged without mercy out of the tent into the fresh air, away from the sleeping soldiers.

I started screaming through my hand, but suddenly a force hit my throat and I could only choke noiselessly and gasp for air. My larynx throbbed with pain, as if the blow had torn my vocal cords.

His arm was wrapped tightly around my body, tying me to him. I wanted nothing more than to get rid of his sweaty warmth, but all I could do was wriggle like a fish on land.

"Not so wild, wolfless one," whispered a voice in my ear, making the hair on the back of my neck stand upright. "We don't want anyone else to wake up."

Mael.

His voice was slightly out of breath, but that gave me little hope. He dragged me further and further away from the camp. A croak made his hand vibrate over my mouth.

The night around us was peaceful except for me.

"You really think you're better than me?"

I shook my head helplessly, smelling my own sweat of fear. My movements froze as I realized where he was headed.

The vervain field.