Chapter 4 Independence Day

My new life started almost like the opening of a gift, which was tied together in beautiful ribbons and had the assurance of warmth in it as well as of more adventure to look forward to. In the past two weeks, I’ve learned one thing, that is to stop worrying about the stupid things and of the things kept in it. When we have a full life ahead of us, we should really be cool, confident and just keep moving forward. Chhavi Utkarsh and I were having an everlasting time in this new journey. Our friendship had strengthened me in ways that no one ever could. She was my backbone and supported me in every possible way.

Life was sailing smoothly. I was happy, rejuvenated, and beaming with excitement. Yet, something had started to bother me from within. I thought someone, somewhere was hiding something. That something was eating me up. I started seeing horrible dreams of being let down and how I’d drown in a river without a life jacket. These nightmares continued, and I started thinking negative thoughts. But, it took a significant turn on 15th August 2011.

I planned a short trip to Lonavla with my sister and mother. Around eight a.m. in the morning when Aparna woke me up.

“Wake up, Brother! It’s almost time, we have to get ready.”, She repeated as she started jumping on my bed with excitement. I shooed her away and asked her to let me sleep for thirty minutes more.

“What’s wrong, bro, you told me that you would wake up earlier than me, and yet you are still half asleep, “ She said as she nudged me.

“Aparna, let me sleep a bit more,” She didn’t listen to me. And started to poke me continuously just to keep me awake.

“Ohh god! you are so irritating,” I exclaimed as I woke up from my bed.

“Yup bro that I am, get ready until then, I will help mom in the kitchen, “she said.

Even though I was awoken up, I still wanted a bit more sleep. Nevertheless, I compelled myself to get up and get ready; I took my clothes and other stuff from the wardrobe and went to take a bath. After five minutes, I heard a loud voice, at first, I thought I had just imagined it, but then, the same voice grew louder than before.

“Avinash, bro... see what happened to mom,” it was my sister Aparna’s voice. As I heard it, I quickly jumped out of bath and I ran downstairs towards the kitchen. I saw mom lying on the floor, and Aparna was still in shock, to see mom like this. It came as a big blow to me; at that moment I didn’t know how to respond and what to do. I started crying in fear of losing my mother. I begun shouting, “Mom, mom!” but to no avail. My tongue felt dry. My throat felt as if someone had thrusted a handful of itching powder inside it. My eyes were scruffy. I looked down at her, leaning back to support her. I felt helpless. Somehow, I managed to call an ambulance as well as Utkarsh and Chhavi, with my shaking hands. I wanted to take her to the hospital as soon as possible.

In five minutes, an ambulance had arrived, and Utkarsh’s father accompanied us to the hospital. I told Aparna to stay with Chhavi, as it was the time to give the medicines to Dad.

We left for the hospital. On the way, I was helpless and clueless to what had just happened. We immediately took her to the emergency ward, the nurse there immediately called the doctor. The concerned Doctor Himansh declared it was a heart attack, and she was in a severe condition. Aparna got anxious. I took her by my side and conveyed to her that,” Maa is doing good now. So both of us have to take care of ourselves and dad now”.

I sat outside, waiting for the doctor. I didn’t move one bit. As I waited, I prayed. Many things were going around in my mind I could not escape from the monster of negative thoughts that were running in my mind. My mind was eating me from within.

“God. Please Save Her,” I begged God, as my heartbeat was growing running faster in fear.

After an hour, the doctor came out of the operation theatre and declared that it was a sudden and severe heart attack, and that they tried everything possible but still couldn’t save her. A bomb in my mind exploded. I still dumbstruck. My body didn’t react. I was in a state of disbelieve.

Even though Utkarsh was there to console me, I couldn’t process it and suddenly collapsed.

...

I was in a state of depression as I reached home in the ambulance with my mom’s dead body. The world suddenly felt bleak. The sky became dull. The birds’ chirping no longer felt like music to my ears and had started to irritate me more. I was hollowing deep in the dark, not from the practical point of view, but from my mental state. The tears wanted to roll down through my eyes. My face wanted to grimace and contort into a painful expression, I lost my world in just a flick of motions. We reached home. I was scared of what I was going to tell Aparna.

Aparna came running towards me and asked, “How is mom now? Is she alright?”

I didn’t say anything to her as I was in a state of silence. Aparna opened the back door of the ambulance. She fell into trauma to see her dead body. I went towards her and embraced her, “She left us in tears; doctors couldn’t save her,” I said all teary.

Mom always wanted to see our father recover from the paralysis and wished to see Aparna getting married. yet she left us before seeing it through, and we became helpless. But, I promised her, I pledged to fulfill all the dreams she had. It was the rueful day of our life; everything turned upside down again.

We begun walking on despair again,

Soaking with the sun and people looming against, It felt like the world turned against us,

And, the last ray of hope suddenly disappeared in a quick flash.

...

At the cremation ceremony, we both kissed on mom’s forehead and bid farewell to her. None from our relatives or family attended the ceremony, only some friends from school, Chhavi’s mom and Dad, Utkarsh, and his Dad.

IT WAS THE DARKEST NDEPENDENCE DAY OF MY LIFE THAT I WOULD NEVER FORGET.