28
I looked after the black-haired man and then went into the house to close the door and take a deep breath.
Then, as I slowly walked into the living room, I saw Chace and Lou both staring at me, sitting next to each other on the couch. "You didn't have to do that," I threw at the brown-haired man and dropped onto the soft cushion next to him. "But I wanted it," he smiled and took Lou's hand in his, which made the little one look up in surprise. I smiled at the sight of them and decided to leave them alone.
"I'm going to sleep. You're welcome to sleep on the couch." They nodded to me and I ran up the stairs to then lock myself in my room. Lost in thought, I stood on the soft carpet and took off Chace's jacket, letting it fall to the floor.
Ludwig didn't want me and even Jayden, who I didn't even want, wasn't interested in me. Maybe the alpha was right. I was just a weak person, too insignificant to be loved. I started pacing back and forth, fighting back tears as I contemplated the meaning of my life.
Eventually, when I couldn't hold back the grief, I cried bitterly and ripped my dress off while screaming in pain over and over again until I was just standing there in my underwear, shaking with rage. My head was spinning and I ignored the knock on my door. I deserved to be alone and had to start regaining my strength first.
At the thought of what Chace had said about being too strong that's why I didn't transform, I laughed and realized that there was a high probability that I was just too weak to be worth a to become a wolf.
I fell into my bed crying, pulled the blanket over me, closed my teary eyes and tried to block out my thoughts to just sleep, which I managed to do after what felt like an eternity.
When I opened my eyes, I looked through the window at the cloudy sky and was unable to move. I felt lost and lonely. Lonelier than ever.
I turned my head the other way and tried to go back to sleep, but the loud music emanating from the ground floor made it impossible for me to escape from this reality.
I shoved the covers off me in anger, pulled on a white cardigan and light-colored jeans, then yanked open the door and stomped down the stairs. "Good morning", Lisbeth greeted me in the kitchen and was in the process of baking rolls and preparing scrambled eggs. "Can you please turn that down? I want to go back to sleep," I asked her, pointing to the radio, but she just looked at me confused.
"You have guests, Chiara. It would be rude to just go back to sleep!" She gave me a serious look and then turned back to her pan, which made me breathe annoyed. I was glad that Chace and Lou were getting closer, but not glad to stay awake on this day when I wanted to shut out and forget so much.
I walked exhausted into the living room and found Lou crying with Chace holding her hands. There was no end to the drama in my life, I thought and took a deep breath. "What's going on?" I asked, standing in front of the couch to get a good look at the two of them.
"He doesn't want to tell Jayden anything about us and he regrets his decision from yesterday! That's the matter!", the brown-haired woman yelled and snatched her hands away from him. "Are you serious Chace?" I turned to Chace and sat down next to Lou, putting my arm around her shoulders to comfort her.
"I can't help it, Chiara. What should I do? Leave the pack?" he asked me excitedly and ran his hands through his brown hair in desperation.
I've had enough. I wouldn't continue to allow everyone to suffer and the big shots were fine with it. I got up and walked to the front door where my grandma stopped me and blocked my way. "None of your business," she whispered sternly, but I turned past her and angrily yanked open the front door to run into the cold and rain.
The day had come when I would teach him my rules, when he could choose to be one of the good guys, when things would change!
But I didn't know what that was, and I won't like what he had to say to me.
Driven by anger and desperation, I walked down the street and didn't look left or right. I was no longer aware of my surroundings. Only the rain that pelted down on me incessantly and the wind that blew through my loose hair.
I didn't care if I was cold or how I looked. I didn't seem to care about anything except telling him my opinion.
Arriving at the Wialtrama, I jogged across the street and ran into the forest. This path was not easy and I was also afraid to face it, but slowly I had no other choice. If I was too scared to defend myself, at least I did it for Lou, who deserved more than this lonely life.
He only saw the short dress on her, I saw her pain, her cry for attention and love, which sounded desperate and unfortunately didn't get through to him.
Arrived in front of the hut I stopped briefly and collected myself. As I nervously ran back and forth, I put my head together in my thoughts, which I immediately wanted to slam into his head, but a slamming of the wooden door tore me out of my preparation.
I looked over and straight into the eyes of Ethan, who looked grumpy and tired and walked past me without saying a word. Irritated, I turned to look after him, but he was gone as quickly as he appeared.
When I turned back to the cabin, a really wasted looking woman came out, whose dress seemed almost as short as Lou's. She glared at me and tried to light a cigarette in the rain but couldn't.
I ran up to her and angrily grabbed the lighter from her hand to light her cigarette. She tugged at it hard and blew the stinky smoke in my face with amusement. "He's all yours sweetie," she grinned, staggering past me.
Once again I clenched my hands into fists and once again I felt the wounds on my palms. I was about to kick the door open when it opened and Jayden stood in front of me in just his boxers. "Why are you standing here in the cold rain? Come in!"
He pulled me into the hut by the sleeve and closed the door behind me. "You have-" I started to yell angrily, but he cut me off. "Sit down in peace. I'll get you a towel for your hair and get dressed unless you want me to stay like this?"
He grinned cheekily at me while I tried not to jump at his throat. "It's okay. I'll be right back." As soon as he left the room, I ran to the couch and saw several empty bottles of whiskey on the table. My fingertips burned to smack him in the head, but I couldn't rule out the possibility that he might hit back. I would trust him.
I took one of the bottles in my hands and turned it around several times until I looked over at the door and pulled out and threw the bottle against it with full force. This anger put me in such a trance that I grabbed the next bottle and the next and the next until Jayden came running and hugged me tightly from behind.
"Calm down and stop it!" he said menacingly in my ear, causing me to pull away and glare at him angrily.
"You have nothing to say to me! You forbid your sister and Chace to love! You let Ethan treat me and her like dirt and you make Ludwig stay away from me!" I yelled at him. whereupon he glared at me angrily.
"Is something going on between you and Ludwig?" he asked with a growl and sat down unsteadily on the couch. "You took that with you from everything I told you?" I looked at him questioningly and didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't seem to be interested in anything but himself and he didn't care if others had to suffer because of him and that's what made him such a selfish man who could only arouse hatred in you.
"And you came here to hold all this against me?" He leaned back and looked straight into mine with his cold eyes, which made me afraid and panicky, but my hands didn't start shaking until he suddenly stood up and walked toward me.
My heart was racing with excitement, but he turned away from me, grabbed one of the remaining empty bottles and angrily threw it against the door. I jumped and took a few steps backwards until I felt the wall against my back.
"Do you know what your problem is? You don't think far! Just deal with the here and now. You don't care about the future or the past! What's the point? You don't have to lead a pack!" He snarled these questions and accusations at me as he got closer and closer until he was standing right in front of me and looking me straight in the eyes.
"You want me to leave Chace and Lou alone? Want them to start a relationship and love and honor each other?" he asked, still glaring at me. I could feel my heart beating in my throat and just nodded while my whole body started shaking. "Good! And if Chace finds his mate tomorrow, the day after, or in a few years and leaves Lou, then it will be you who broke her heart! Not me, Chace or his mate, just you!"
I stared at him and finally understood why he didn't accept their relationship. He wanted to protect her. Protection from not breaking love and he wanted to stop it before it was too late.
"And to Ethan. His mother is ill while his father beats and humiliates him every day. Should I say something about respect to someone like that? I tried. First the calm way and then we fought! What else do you expect? Should I hang him on the nearest tree?!"
He broke his cold gaze from me and turned his back on me. I tried to take a deep breath, but it was hard, like someone was squeezing my throat.
"Oh, and to you and your oh so great Ludwig. Do you know guardian angels? Do you know what their love can do to a person? Certainly not. But I know it and he does too and that makes me all the more angry what he could do to you with it! " He turned back to me and took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair while I still stood there, frozen, trying to process it all.
"And now we come to you, Chiara...."












