29

"Do you know how hurtful it is to have someone like you as a mate?" He looked away from me and sat down on the couch in frustration as my anger began to overcome my fear.

"Oh yes, shameful?" I replied and took a few cautious steps towards him. "You have no right to keep calling me weak just because I'm NOT a wolf! And your other actions aren't justified either, just because there were reasons that could easily have been discussed!"

I glared at him as he busied himself with adjusting his black hoodie and getting up. "It's so easy to judge others, Chiara! And it's easy for me to gain power, too. The difficult thing is to keep it. Should I always try to please everyone? How quickly would no one respect me anymore?! "

I shook my head in disbelief and put my hand to my forehead in disbelief. "You think the people here have respect for you? Surely not. That's just fear! Fear of you and your pack, that's all!" I explained to him in a trembling voice and suddenly saw a bra behind him on the couch, the made me boil inside

"And I could never have respect for someone who uses women like toys!" I turned to the door and was ready to go. My head couldn't stand this back and forth anymore, but he stood next to me and pressed his hand against the door.

"I've been looking for my mate for years, I'm almost desperate for this loneliness that has made me someone else. These women take away my loneliness, even if it's only for a short time. When I first saw you, I knew I know who you are and I knew right away that you were human."

He took a deep breath and leaned his back against the door while I crossed my arms and waited for him to continue, but I couldn't believe my eyes when I suddenly saw tears running down his face. "You're human and I think I'd judge you for that. But I'm just trying to cope with the fact that I'm sure I'll live a hundred years longer than you while you...."

He pushed away from the door and ran to the table to pour himself a glass, shaking. "That's why all this? That's why you take away the right to insult me? Take away the right to make me think I'm worthless? You know who's weak Jayden? You! Only you. Because you you're so scared of the pain that you think about the end before you even start."

He didn't say anything more and just stood there with his back to me, still holding the bottle. "Bye Jayden," I murmured glumly, then opened the door to head out into the rain again. Only this time I felt even worse than on the way there, because now, in addition to my hatred for him, I also felt pity and I didn't want to feel that for him.

Why did he keep digging into it and not just tell someone about his thoughts? If he had told me from the start, Chiara, I don't want you for fear you'll die before me, then such chaos would never have ensued. I would have understood and accepted his fear and I think Lou and Chace would have understood his thoughts on their connection as well. You were old enough to make that decision for yourself.

As for Ethan, it was no excuse for his behavior. Of course I saw him in a different light from that day on, but that didn't give him the right to treat others that way.

I tried to block it all out when I got to the street and sat down briefly on the wet curb. My legs felt weak, as did my spinning head. I had received so many answers, but there were still enough unanswered questions. Especially questions about the blond, who suddenly seemed so far away, as if we had never been close.

I felt like the more I learned about Jayden and the more time I spent with him, the more this connection compelled me to develop an interest in him, but I didn't want to let that happen, so I suppressed my thoughts and got up again to walk home down the main street.

When I got there, I was soaked through and shivering from the cold. I rang the bell and immediately my grandmother opened the door worried. She looked down at my wet clothes and made way for me to enter.

"Go to the bathroom! You're going to take a warm shower first," she asked, pushing me on the back, but I stopped briefly in front of the living room and glanced inside. "Wo-" "They went after you, but each one individually," my grandma interrupted, looking down sadly, as did I.

I walked alone to the bathroom and closed the door behind me to let myself slide down it exhausted and sit whimpering on the cold tiles of the floor.

It was just too much for me...

A week had passed since I sat on the bathroom floor and it all got to be too much.

Seven days in which Lou was there every day, Ludwig five days and Chace one day to check on my grandma but I told her I needed rest and time so she sent everyone away again.

I just lay in bed, listening to music and most of the time looking out the window to watch the sky changing from time to time. An emptiness spread in my heart that I could neither bear nor understand.

"We have to go to a meeting today, Chiara." Lisbeth told me about it through the door, but I didn't react and pulled the covers over my head.

As if I would even leave my house again after everything that had happened. I didn't want to see Jayden and I didn't want to see Ludwig either because I had read terrible things about him in some books.

_Guardian angels steal your lifetime with every kiss. _

_If your heart beats for a guardian angel, you will get sick and in the long run it will destroy you._

There was more to read about him, but those two things were the worst and absolutely unforgivable. By now I could understand Jayden keeping me away from Ludwig, not like he did, of course, but why.

"Chiara! I'm serious!", my grandma knocked loudly on the door, which made me get up sadly. My legs were shaking and my whole body was on fire, but I put that down to the stress in my head. I got up, padded to the door and unlocked it to see the worried expression on my grandma's face. "What is it... stay here!" she stuttered and I just rolled my eyes.

Where am I supposed to go please? The forest never ended and I wouldn't even have gotten to the mailbox with the fever. I carefully sit down on the edge of my bed and take off my t-shirt to just sit in my bra. I was so hot I thought I was going to go crazy.

My grandma came running, carrying a large bowl of ice water. She put him down in front of me and ran down the stairs again. I looked into the bowl with a skeptical look and shuddered at the thought of even touching the water with the ice cubes with my toe.

Before my grandma came back into the room, I heard her quick footsteps on the stairs and she was standing in front of me with a bottle of vodka. I looked at her in horror and shook my head no. "If you think that I put my feet in this ice water and drink pure vodka, then you are wrong!"

I stared at her, but she didn't seem to be listening at all. "Since when do you have a fever, Chiara?" "I don't know!" I said annoyed and fell back onto the bed.

"Show me the bite!" she demanded, leaning over me. I rolled onto my side and brushed my hair off my shoulder. "You're going to transform!", she suddenly breathed, startled, and staggered a few steps backwards.

I widened my eyes in disbelief and sat back up, exhausted. "What are you talking about? I read that you transform after a bite and not almost 2 weeks later!" I explained to her and took a deep breath. "I just have a fever!", I calmed her down and tried to take the fear out of her face with a smile.

"Drink this and put your feet in there!", she ordered me, pushed the wokda into my hand and ran out of the room again, agitated. I didn't want her to have another heart attack so I just did as she said and dipped my feet in the water.

The first second was so bad it hurt. The cold went through my entire body and then I suddenly felt much better. The cold calmed me down and gave me the cooling I needed. I still didn't drink the vodka and put it on my small bedside table.

I closed my eyes and just sat there feeling hot and cold at the same time. A condition that didn't even allow me to think clearly. Only when the doorbell rang after a while did I open my eyes in shock, grabbed my t-shirt and frantically pulled it on. Who knew who she had invited again.

I heard voices but was too exhausted to focus on who it could be. Loud footsteps on the stairs made me look to the door, through which suddenly Rudi and Chace entered my room, followed by my grandma, who covered her mouth with her hands as if to prevent herself from screaming.

"Hey, may I?" Rudi said and carefully put his hand in front of my forehead. I just nodded and he laid it firmly on my forehead and smiled at me. As soon as he removed his hand, he pushed my t-shirt aside and studied the bite, the sight of which changed his expression. I looked at him confused and slowly, all this fuss was getting to be too much.

I pulled my feet out of the water and staggered to my feet, only to fall forward, straight into Chace's arms, who was patting my back soothingly. "Everything will be fine. I know the feeling. Just let it happen," he whispered in my ear and I tried with the last of my strength to push myself away from him, but instead of gaining distance from him, I fell standing in his arms into a deep Sleep.