Chapter 23 Somersaults

I feel stupid saying this, I've never felt this feeling before.

Mavis loaned me some workout clothing and staring at my body in the mirror, I felt like I was going to throw up. I discovered my body the day of Calvary's funeral where I was fighting to cover my own skin. The clothes were better obviously but... they were so tight. I'm used to things being baggy and ill-fitting but you could see every line of my body in this.

I had on a sports bra which I was used to wearing already and a blue tank top with leggings. Everything was just too tight and too revealing.

Tears were in my eyes- why? I felt hollow and cold, a newfound fear was taking over me and I couldn't stop it.

Jack opened the door to his bathroom and froze, "I'm sorry! I didn't know you were still in here!" This was the first time I've seen Jack wearing short sleeves and shorts. He wore his usual silver chain around his neck and an interesting black cuff around his left wrist.

My hands went to my stomach and then followed my body down to my thighs. I had a lot more skin than Jasmine had. All of her skin was tight and chiseled with muscle, I had never seen a body like hers before. Now, I was painfully aware of how much bigger I was compared to her. My arms were thicker, my chest wasn't as big as hers but seemed to fall more. My legs were bigger and hips more round compared to hers that were lean and full but with hard toned skin.

Jack stepped out of the bathroom and frowned. "I don't really know if I should say something in response to all the thoughts going on in your head right now. I don't even know if I could say the right thing to make all those thoughts go away but... Jasmine is not the standard. She was grilled to train from the time she was a kid."

Tears welled up in my eyes and I quickly shut them before I was crying again. I'm tired of crying.

"It just seems stupid when people are dying and I'm just now realizing what my body looks like in tight clothes." I wiped my eyes, "I'm  sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be sorry, apologize to yourself for thinking that way. We are going to work to make sure you can hold you own if you ever need to, not to change your appearance."

I thought back to how Jack said I was gorgeous and how he said that before I looked in the mirror. No one was going to judge me, I can believe that.

"Why was Jasmine training?" I changed the subject.

"Well being that Martin was her guardian growing up... He made her prepare."

I gasped and looked at him, "You're kidding. They're..."

He nodded, "Jasmine got crap thrown at her worse than I got yesterday, every single day for being Martin's niece. He didn't even love her, he just wanted an heir he could pass everything on to."

"That's horrible," I sighed.

He put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a sincere look, "Your body is not ugly just because someone else's looks different, okay?"

I smiled, "Thank you."

-

Jack led me through the gymnasium and to a room connected to it, full of fancy equipment and a sectioned off square in the middle with foam mats.

"This is where we train in case of a fight. Some of us don't take it seriously anymore since both sides haven't made a move in so long but, the smart ones still come here."

Jasmine and Mavis stood on opposite sides of the the ring, Kyle sat across from them drinking a water bottle.

I couldn't help but blush when I realized Kyle was shirtless, and his chest was chiseled and lined with abs. His arms were bulging with muscle along with the exposed skin of his legs. He looked like a machine.

"What Jasmine and Mavis are about to do I really think you should watch. They're perfect rivals and never really beat the other in combat. Dangerously equal."

My eyes widened and I nodded, "Okay then."

Jasmine had her usual regal and lethal look on her face holding a wooden stick while Mavis looked unbothered and wrapped her hands in a black fabric.

Jasmine was wearing a sport bra in the open. She has a very large chest and yet she can just... do that? She exposed her own impressive lines over her stomach and was aware of how stunning she looked, I just knew it.

Mavis faced Jasmine with a grin, "Ready!"

Jasmine smirked and twisted her wooden staff until it was in front of her, "Took you long enough."

Beside me, Kyle let out a singular laugh.

There was a tension in the air that had me at the edge of my seat with excitement for whatever I'm about to witness.

Jasmine came charging at Mavis who remained calm until the last second where she turned away from the edge of Jasmine's staff, grabbing it.

Jasmine's eyes widened but then narrowed. With a huff, she lurched the staff forward then backward, making Mavis' weight shift so Jasmine could easily sweep her leg under Mavis and knock her over.

Mavis landed on both arms and slid under Jasmine's parted legs, getting up swiftly to kick Jasmine in the side from her turning around, and knocked the staff to the ground.

They attacked each other, each blocking the other's jab as if it was rehearsed.

Jasmine arched backwards as Mavis' fist extended all the way out, springing back and catching her other arm and sending her elbow right into Mavis' cheek.

I gasped while the boys laughed and hummed.

Mavis grabbed on to the railing, holding her cheek and part of me stated to panic as Jasmine slowly approached her again from behind.

But I could see Mavis smiling, waiting.

She turned over the railing and swung a kick right into Jasmine's stomach, sending her toppling to the ground with a thud and harsh gasp.

Mavis got on top of her and held her arms above her head, "I expected more from you, Jas. What gives?"

Jasmine smirked and flipped them over, grabbing the wooden staff next to her, spinning it over her head, and thrusting it right into Mavis's neck.

"You must love being on the bottom."

Jack and Kyle snickered, but I didn't understand the reference.

Jasmine got off and held out her hand to pull Mavis back up from the floor. The boys were already clapping so I joined in too, "That was super cool."

Jasmine smirked while Mavis came out of the ring and took her water bottle from Kyle, "Thank you Miss. Ayla."

It was interesting to see how the two were equally matched in force and yet have such different fighting styles. Mavis seemed to always be calm and on her toes and was super agile, meanwhile Jasmine was relentless and smart and sharp with every movement. Both barely broke a sweat and looked like they could keep going which made me somehow exhausted.

"I want her first," Jasmine called over.

Jack tensed up, "Now Jasmine please keep in mind this is a learning environment."

I really didn't want to start this off by getting my butt kicked by someone I was secretly comparing myself to.

She shook her head, "Now."

I slowly stood up and Mavis patted me on the back. "You've got this. Just listen to her and don't let her scare you."

I internally groaned and entered the ring, "You know I think you and I haven't really gotten off to a great start..."

Jasmine eyed me as she picked up her wooden staff, swinging it over to smack into her other hand.

"And you don't like me for whatever reason which I guess is... fine."

"Is that so?"

Oh god I'm about to die.

She slowly approached me, twisting her staff in her left hand to form a perfect circle. "You know what I don't like about you? I can't even tell you why I don't like you."

I gulped but tried to stand up tall and not flinch at the spinning stick or intimidating woman approaching me.

"What I don't like about you is how obviously weak you are. Easily manipulated by the environment you're in. You have no grit." She stopped her staff and shot it into the mat, "And you at your very core are nothing but an underdeveloped child."

I felt a chill slither down my spine that made me jump. What was I supposed to say to that? Something mean? Do I nod?

"You are all this but yet everyone is so eager to protect you. You are not different. You..." She slid her finger down my jawline, "Are not special. And you are not worthy of special treatment. You're just being babysat delaying the inevitable. When will you realize that we can't even protect you? We don't have the resources," She cackled.

I wanted her to stop.

"How long do you think we'll last? How far do you think these people who don't know or trust you will go to make sure you stay alive?"

I stared at her wide eyed with heat pouring through my skin. I wanted to disappear right then.

"Tell me Ayla!" She screamed into my face which made me flinch away from her.

She laughed, "So hung up on how mommy dearest mistreated you? Well my mommy wasn't the one who hit me." She threw her staff to the edge of the ring.

"You're not special because you survived cruel things-" I gasped and ducked when she swung her fist at me.

"Surviving only means seeing more cruel things. It doesn't make them stop." I watched her leg slowly creeping toward me but I couldn't bring myself to move. She kicked me in my stomach, knocking the air out of my lungs and sending me to the floor.

I heard my friends gasp and both our names were shouted but I could barely hear them.

She pressed her shoe down on my chest and stood looking down at me, "You could be going up against an Insurgent with a skill set far more powerful than you even know is possible and how do you expect to beat them? And if you do, doesn't mean the battles over." She grinned, "How do you get through it? Knowing you you'd probably just beg for help."

I groaned and shoved her leg off from me, forcing her to step over me. Quickly, I sat up and knocked her over from between her legs.

I heard her groan and watched her sit up, holding her shoulder.

"You don't want to train me! You just want to break me down!"

She stood up, "If you can't even handle that how can you handle someone with a blade, a gun, powers, all far more powerful than you!"

I ran to her but she quickly stepped out of the way, sending me rolling into the ring's railing.

"There are Insurgents whose skill sets revolve around degrading and breaking down their opponents. If your mind isn't sharp and if you don't let go of all the sure terrible stuff you've been through then they'll easily overtake you."

I looked up at her, she wasn't even phased.

"Let this be your first lesson: channel all the bullshit life has put you through, don't let it define you."

I was breathing heavily but nodded, holding my hand out.

But she didn't take it.