Chapter 26 Coloring Outside The Lines

It's been two days since the situation with the Insurgent boy. As I look back on it, I feel sick at how scared that child was. We broke into a house he saw as his own and acted like we were there to find him all stealthy as if we were going to take him away like he had been previously. It hadn't once crossed my mind that children can be Insurgents, it hadn't crossed my mind that that meant that kid had already died previously in order to be an Insurgent, as have all of my friends.

Jack doesn't want to speak to me and I'm fine with that, I don't really want to talk to him either. Mavis was nice enough to share her room with me and although it means I have to do a lot more talking, I was glad to get to know her better.

She helped me cope with everything going on and introduced me to the children's ward at the base. It was its own section of hallways upstairs where the children with powers played and honestly appeared relatively normal. They all had silver eyes but none of them were using their powers, just playing with toys, drawing and coloring. The inner child in me was thrilled to get the chance to do this while I couldn't shake what all these kids have gone through.

The play room was pretty dull but I helped decorate the beige walls with pictures the kids drew and told them to draw all over the walls with as many colors as possible. They were all ecstatic to have new people to play with and Mavis told me how often they were forgotten by everyone else.

Mavis and I sat on the floor with some of our new friends and played a game where we all drew the same thing and then showed it off.

"Ayla I've been wanting to tell you how proud of you I am."

I looked up from my fish, "Proud of me?"

She nodded cheerfully, "You did the best thing anyone could do when facing someone with such extreme amounts of power. You appealed to their own humanity."

I shook my head, "He was just a kid," I muttered. I didn't do anything special but be nice to him and it got him killed.

"You're very empathetic. You always seem to know how to calm people down and make them feel better." She showed our circle her drawing of a rainbow with a stick figure Mavis standing at the end of it.

I half laughed, "Why are you standing at the end of it?"

Mavis then did actually laugh, "You know I'm very open about all aspects of my life, but there's so many things I refrained from saying or telling you just because I don't know what all you were exposed to while being secluded."

I gulped, "Oh... I mean you can tell me anything."

She studied me but then nodded, "I like girls, Ayla."

A part of me was confused but I remembered all those movies and TV shows that featured girls romantically involved with one another. I remember watching those scenes and feeling like it was some sort of joke. "I didn't know that was a real thing."

She snorted which made the kids around us laugh and point at her.

"Gay people are real, Ayla. There's a whole spectrum of love and identity."

I smiled, "Then um... congrats?"

She scooted close to me, "I had the biggest crush on Jack's sister. We did everything together and it's like this place was our baby. I met her a couple days after Jack got sent to gene pool where he was supposed to impregnate me."

She said it so nonchalantly I almost got whiplash. Heat burned in my cheeks and I quickly cleared my throat, "But you like-"

"But I like girls, very good observation." She learned her head against the wall and I watched her face fade out, her thoughts clearly far away. "When you fail to do something you're sent to gene pool which is basically like this breeding pool of those who let down the society in some way. Jack's final task to get into the elite kill squad aka the silver primes with Kyle was to kill someone... Jack couldn't do it."

She looked at me, "In my life before this, when my name was Mariana Rivera, I knew all sorts of terrible men who's only intention was to take advantage of me. I got sent to the gene pool for mouthing off, had painful relations with dozens of men ranging from complete losers to absolute monsters. And then Jack comes in, stuttering, couldn't even undo his own zipper. He was just a kid too."

I closed my eyes and shook my head, "Why are you telling me all this."

"Because he didn't do anything to me which made him a decent person. Maybe others who took me were decent people too before the formula blew their heads up. Jack doesn't know it but he's stayed human all this time and I... really like the side of him you bring out."

I blushed but looked away, "He didn't even tell me about Eveline's anniversary. He avoided me for days before and after that day and then-"

"No offense but why would he? All of us knew he did that to himself which obviously shame on us for never going out of our ways to stop it but he didn't tell you because he didn't want to see your reaction. He knew you would do something about it." Her expression looked troubled as she talked about her own mistakes- at least I hope she realizes how messed up it all is.

"Ayla I think you think you don't know who you are because you're fixated on all the life you've lost but you've shown all of us who you are and it's made a difference in everyone's life. Jack certainly adores you."

I laughed, "Oh yeah I bet-"

"Don't even pretend like you didn't share a bed with that boy in my room. We all saw that."

She was referring to something I've been keen on avoiding. There's been moments where I've felt my own heart race when I'm next to him or when we are talking like the world around us wasn't dark or crumbling, and I've questioned if this feeling was friendly or if it was something entirely more than that.

"I just don't want you to give up on Jack after this one thing when he's the best of us. I know you look up to him and didn't expect the outcome that we got, believe me I didn't either but, he's not perfect."

This was true, I mean I knew how much guilt he carried everyday blaming himself for his family's deaths, when those clearly weren't even his fault. I could be imagining it but I know Jack likes me around and I don't want to lose whatever it is that's going on between us.

"Jack is my best friend. I know this will pass."

Mavis smiled and laughed, "I like hearing that." She straightened up and faced me, "Now I have another question for you. How much about your heritage do you know?"

It's honestly something I forget about, being half Argentinian. I bet there's something special about it but I wasn't connected to the culture. Mother never taught me anything about being Argentinian, all I know is that word and that's it. I can't speak Spanish, I don't eat any native food, or celebrate any native holidays. I don't even know if I count-

"Just that I'm Argentinian on Mother's side." I was worried she would judge me for being completely clueless.

She scrunched up her nose with a smile, I could tell she was containing some excitement with the way she was bouncing. "I'm from the Dominican Republic and I will teach you whatever Spanish you want to know," She dragged out the last word. "I've been wanting to get someone to celebrate all the stuff I know is passing by and I hate not being in touch with culture. When you're an Insurgent it feels like you're all suddenly the same race, no one cares about your color or sexuality or religion, and I miss it all." She breathed in heaps of air after stammering. It made me happy seeing her all giddy despite how out of place I feel.

A knock on the door made us all stop and look to see who came all the way up to say hi. Ethan waved his hand, "Mind if I join?"

I smiled and scooted over so Ethan could sit next to me. His face had finally healed from Kyle beating him you wouldn't even know he'd ever been touched.

"You're all healed," I beamed.

He awkwardly smiled, "Wouldn't be the first ass-beating Kyle gave me. He's been pummeling me since we were kids you'd think I would be totally used to it by now."

I giggled, "Brotherly love?"

His face darkened, "Something like that. We may look alike but I am nothing like his cocky, stupid self."

Mavis swatted at him, "What's gotten into you? Don't talk like that in front of kids."

I felt awkward sitting in the middle of them. He radiated tension that I wanted to ask about but decided to ignore, I've never heard him talk like that and I didn't want any part in it.

"I think I'm going to go talk to Jack," I nodded to myself, standing up quickly.

"Bye friends-" I giggled as the swarm of kids from toddlers to even preteens grabbed my legs and latched onto my clothes, giving me a hug with laughter filling the air around me.

Mavis was right, I couldn't ignore Jack forever and we needed to talk about what's happened so we can move on from it. His friendship isn't something I want to lose no matter what happened. I basically owed him.