Chapter 27 The Rooftop

I found Jack inside the gym, alone, grunting as he jabbed his fists into a large red bag hanging from the ceiling.

I leaned up against the doorway and watched him work, the different directions his arms were going, his speed, the grunting sound he made with every punch and kick.

He stopped with a gasp, running his hand through his gleaming black curls.

I gave him a couple claps, the muscles in his bare back tensed and he quickly turned around to face me.

"What did I scare you?"

He took a drink of his water bottle and inhaled deeply, his toned chest rising and falling in big breaths. "No," he said breathlessly. "I was waiting for you to talk- the clapping was a bit weird."

I blushed and shrugged, side-glancing to the floor and then back to him. "My bad."

He set his water bottle down and grabbed his shirt with his left hand, the wrist without the cuff around it this time.

"Please for the love of god don't say you want to see-"

"No! No that's really weird and definitely uncomfortable." Part of me was curious I won't lie but even I knew that that would be crossing the line.

We sat in silence for a couple minutes, him putting his same black long sleeve on and facing away from me. The distance between us seemed farther than it actually was, tension was eating away at my body.

"I was hoping talking to you would be easier than this..." I laughed to myself, "I don't know what I'm doing to be honest."

"I'm pretty sure I'm the one that's supposed to approach you," He finally broke his staring contest with the floor and turned his head toward me. "You know you didn't do anything wrong, right?"

"What event are we referring to-"

"All of them?" He shrugged. "I don't want to talk about what happened the day of-"

"And you don't have to-"

"I wanted to be mad at you but the more I thought about it the more I realized you were being a good friend and you kept me from running back to what I always do." He took a deep breath and sighed. "I have to thank you for that. But I also can't ignore how you just went and told Mavis right afterwards."

My eyebrows furrowed, "Was I not supposed to?"

"Just the way you described it all made me feel... bad." His head drooped low and I slowly sat next to him, putting my hand over his.

"Then I'm sorry for that. And I'm also sorry for hitting your chest back at that house..."

He chuckled, "I mean you were extremely angry I understand." He looked at me and I shivered as he tucked stray hairs behind my ear. "It's okay."

Jack certainly adores you.

I opened my mouth to speak but Jack cut me off before I could manage a sound. "Look Ayla, I'm not mad at you. Not anymore."

My eyebrows pushed together and I couldn't help but laugh, "And I don't want to be mad at you either. We can't change anything but... it's like I felt him die, Jack." I dropped my hands and held them together. "And then I was introduced to all these kids..."

He nodded, "It's heavy stuff."

"I have a privilege that they weren't lucky enough to get... I get to leave this place with my life and start something new that I can't even picture yet."

Jack's face darkened and he nodded to himself, staring at the floor, "That is the idea."

"I know it's not what you want to hear but I can't deny it. Being here, I found myself."

He looked up at me with a confused and somewhat angry expression, but he remained silent. I could see veins bulging out of his neck, fists balled, shoulders up and squared. I struck a cord.

"Not saying I want to undergo all the awful things that have happened, I'm not discrediting that. But, being here, meeting this group- meeting you... it's somehow the greatest thing that's ever happened to me." My chest was rising and falling, I didn't know I was out of breath until I was done rambling and all I could feel were the nerves in my stomach crawling through my skin.

He stood up, "Let's take a walk."

-

He opened a door and kicked a wooden block between the heavy door and the frame, "It'll lock behind us. It's the only entrance without a camera in its view so you know- safety."

I nodded and followed him out, smiling at the twinkling night sky and the same small of pine trees. The air was cold but Jack had made sure to bring blankets up to the rooftop with us.

"You brought me to the roof?" I fought off the urge to laugh just in case it offended him. Maybe this was the part where I get dramatically pushed off.

"I like to come here and think. It brings me back to reality."

I looked down and saw him holding out a hand for me and without even thinking, I grasped it.

We sat down by the edge of the roof, our legs dangling, the chilling breeze carrying our hair. It was beautiful out here, it felt like I hadn't been out for a while even though I actually had for our failed mission. I could see lights off in the distance where the normal city people were worrying about their rent and social lives more than their actual lives out here. I wondered if anyone out there was looking for me or my parents. It all seemed so separate when visually it truly was all connected. It was all real.

"Ayla I want to tell you something that I think I've wanted to say for a while but couldn't. In fact... I probably shouldn't even be telling you now either. But I can't ignore it."

I looked at Jack who was already looking at me with relaxed eyes but a tense mouth sucking in both his lips.

"I went back and forth trying to decide if my feelings were real, and then if that made me selfish. My nightmares turned away from the usual to me losing you, everywhere I go I have the same stomach ache... This was supposed to be a job and you're... you."

I giggled, "Me?" My heart was beginning to race.

He shook his head with a grin, "I would do anything to keep you safe so it eats away at me knowing at some point you're going to have to forget about me. I adore this friendship, I adore seeing the world through your eyes, and I simply adore you."

I smiled, unsure of what to say.

He exhaled, "The only reason I'm telling you this is because I want to be honest. I want you to know that no matter what happens that you are extraordinary, Ayla." He gently grabbed my hand, his calloused thumb caressing the skin of my palm. "It feels wrong to sleep beside you without you knowing my feelings for you have... changed."

For some reason... I wasn't shocked. I'm not overjoyed or anything. My heart was racing, I feel like I'm sweating... but I just can't say anything. I don't know what to say or how I'm feeling. I didn't grow up with love or affection- I don't even know if I've had a crush or heard someone had a crush on me.

"How do you know that you feel that way?" I said softly.

He sighed, "Please don't feel like you have to reciprocate. I just wanted you to be honest considering I'm your companion and it's my job to protect you."

I wasn't sure what that R word meant but I think I got the point. "You're my best friend."

"And that is good enough for me," He let a smile through his sad face and put his arm around me, his body heat making my skin tingle.

We looked at the stars in the cloudy night sky, the moving lights in the city full of oblivious souls. Some perfectly normal people there were going to be kidnapped and taken just as Jack was, maybe it was someone's last night as a normal person or even alive. Maybe there's someone there that unknowingly is wishing for something like the Insurgence to sneak up on them.

"Do you think I will ever rejoin them? Will I ever feel the way that they do?" I couldn't even hear myself talking until I was already done asking. The question kept my up at night, knowing this all could potentially be for nothing. The plan was to erase my memory and send me back when it was safe but what would I be coming home to? Would I go back to school if they even let me? What if they ask me about the incident in the bathroom and I just have no idea what they're talking about? I will have nothing under my belt, suddenly I will have no family. I'll still be normal to their standard just as they wanted but there's no way I can become a member of society.

And what if it starts up again? Why would they just give up... if they found me again would they easily just take me back and I'm left with no knowledge of how to defend myself?

"You might not feel normal but you won't be an Insurgent. That's all we can ask for."

"But do you think it's going to work," I whispered.

Jack's body stiffened and he stayed silent, slowly sitting straight.

I pulled away from him and looked to find his eyes narrowed down at the ground below.

"Hello?"

His arm snapped and grabbed mine, "Ayla do you see something in the trees," he whispered.

I felt my mouth instantly go dry and I fixed my sight in the direction his head was facing. He was right, someone was walking through the tree line to the front doors of the base.

I gasped, my eyes widening.

Jack wasted no time and grabbed me, hauling me over to the rooftop stairway. 'Do not talk, do not run, keep yourself close to me. Act like you're unaware that someone is trying to break in.'

He held the door open for me at the end of the staircase and grabbed my arm before I could leave, forcing me to swing around.

"Go immediately to Kyle's room. Have him lurk to Mavis as soon as you get there. Jasmine should be on night watch duty so hopefully they'll get rid of the threat quickly." Jack was hyperventilating, gasping for air as soon as he stopped stammering.

"Okay," I forced my wrist out of his tight grip and looked down the hallway. The front door wasn't that close to us and with the dim light I easily could get to the side hallway that lead to Jack's room and the others too.

"But what are you going to do?"

He shrugged, "I'll just stay within the area, maybe watch from the balcony up top. Don't worry about me, okay?"

I rolled my eyes, "Stop, how could I not?" I looked back down the hallway to the front door, still standing unopened.

This was probably the mole. The mole we thought had been gotten rid of when the old head of the base got frozen. Now we were going to be confronted in some way- I can't deal with seeing more bodies of people I know laying lifeless on the ground.

"Promise me that you'll be careful," I searched his eyes. "Please."

It took a second for Jack to nod, "I have to do whatever I can. Go. We are wasting time." He quickly shoved me out of the stairway and went calmly in the direction of the door, leaving me standing shakily.

Get it together.

I took a step back and turned around completely, inhaling and exhaling through my nose and then out my mouth to try and keep myself calm. I've been in too many situations where I've felt exactly like I do right now: powerless. I've done several sessions with both Jasmine and Mavis but who knows if I could actually use what I know if I had to? The same fear is all I can think of.

I quickened my step when I rounded the corner into the familiar hallway to everyone's rooms and turned right to find Kyle. I was praying his door wasn't locked.

I stopped in front of the wood door and peered in through the long rectangular window within the door to see him laying on his bed with some book in his hand. His eyes trailed off and found mine where his expression turned from blank to instantly happy.

He opened the door and I burst in, shutting it behind me, gasping at the sound it made.

"Damn. And to think I thought you came to hang out or something-"

"Kyle something happened," I croaked, my breath staggering.

He fell silent, his thick red eyebrows pushing together, "What?"

"Jack and I were on the rooftop just talking and then we saw someone coming from the woods, right towards the front door."

His eye twitched and I saw he was clearly thinking, "Okay... maybe it was just an undead? Sometimes they wonder their way through here thinking they'll explore an abandoned building and we have to scare them off-"

"We don't know that!" I covered my own mouth.

He slowly began to nod, "Okay, I believe you. What do you want me to do-"

"Lurk to Mavis. Lurk to Ethan. To Jasmine- lurk to anyone and everyone please."

Kyle nodded and turned around which made me release a relieved breath. Everything would be fine-

Until I realized Kyle no longer had his signature bun on the back of his head.

My heart stopped and as soon as my brain realized he turned around and smacked me across the face, sending me down hard onto the carpet. I felt the sting of fabric grazing my skin and gasped as droplets of blood singed the carpet.

"I don't know if I ought to be flattered you thought I was my brother or concerned that my only friend in this entire base couldn't even tell the difference."

I gagged as I sat up, crying out when something hard hit the middle of my spine and send me back to the ground.

I turned my head and looked up at Ethan, unfazed and unblinking.

"You..." I groaned. I couldn't breathe, everything felt so hot, my mind was racing and all over my body I felt pulsing sensations that kept me alert.

Right under the bed I saw Kyle's hopefully unconscious body, making me moan and squirm under Ethan's weight.

"I felt like I was at a crossroads when you all started to think that the mole situation was already taken care of. I was unsure of what to do or when to do it but..."

I yelped as he sunk his shoes deeper into my skin, my back cracking under him.

"But I realized I was cleared. I had nothing to worry about," His head leaned down closer to mine, "There was no better opportunity," He hissed.

He walked over me and shut the door behind him. I wanted to just lay there, wait for Kyle to stir, wait for someone to come. Someone would have to come right?

'Ayla no one has come through the door. I think whoever it was might have the power of invisibility.'

I wanted to reply but I couldn't.

I felt a heartbeat in my brain.

And that debilitating, degrading familiar feeling: fear.