Chapter 31 Dirty Secrets And Pretty Lies

As night rolled around, the cold settled in. The leaves were changing and falling all around the campsite. Bodies were buried and people grew quiet. Some fought over food rations while others tried to stock up just in case. Fact of the matter is none of us knew how long we were going to be here, I watched people leave in the middle of the night to who knows where- maybe even back to...

Martin.

I shuddered and squeezed my shaking body tighter as if that could possibly help retain body heat. I gave up my pillow and blanket to someone else because well, I got everyone into this situations anyways- not like I deserved it.

My body was falling asleep, tilting over until I snapped back to reality and focused on the fire in front of me. The fire was in fact probably the most lively being on this whole campsite, no signs of dwindling. Guess that made me lucky.

"Ayla..."

I gasped and quickly turned around with my hand on my stuttering heartbeat. "Are you kidding me, Jack?" I whispered harshly.

He couldn't help but grin which made me feel hot, "Sorry. I couldn't sleep and heard your inner-monologue so I thought I'd come see what you were doing."

I rolled my eyes and turned back around. "Can't sleep either."

"Looks to me like you just don't have a sleeping bag."

I sat silently before sighing and sinking into my knees, "Someone asked for it and I thought it was the least I can do."

"That sounds like you." He crouched beside me with his hands stretched in front of him, taking in the warmth from the fire. "I'm surprised you're even brave enough to be out here by yourself."

"I'm surprised you're even talking to me considering whatever the heck that was earlier." I didn't really mean to snap but it bothered me now normal he was suddenly being.

I heard his breath waver. "Come back to my tent with me and I'll tell you about it, I promise. I didn't tell you the truth because I didn't think I would have to but now we don't even have a base so..."

Part of me still wanted to be mad at him for keeping something from me, but I also wondered what a secret of that magnitude really means. Did he no longer feel he could keep me safe?

I stood up and followed him through the lantern path and into his own dark blue tent. All he had inside was a jacket and a blanket which made my heart ache from the drastic difference between his old room.

"I know this might be a difficult and confusing time for you..." Jack zipped up the tent.

I sat down and sighed, "It only ever gets more difficult and confusing."

He sat beside me and draped his jacket over my bare arms. "That is partially my own fault. I was scared and unsure of what to do with the information your parents told me. So I just chose to tell our group and the head and keep it away from you."

"That's just not fair, Jack," I whispered.

His silver eyes were glossy and I could see through the pale light soaking through the tent that he was chewing on his cheek. "This whole time I thought I was doing a great job with protecting you," he sighed. "And now we have nothing."

"That's all my fault. If you would've just gave up, never came for me, let them change me-"

"I can't let that happen," He said sternly.

I broke away from his gaze and ran my fingers through my hair. "My parents knew about this?" I shuddered when I called them that.

"He knew a telepath's mind couldn't be read. He told me the day of Sgt. Calvary's funeral right afterwards."

I reminisced on how oddly simple it all used to be. How I was just a girl barely alive and now feeling like death too. A girl who grieved by herself and wore a terrible dress to a funeral because it's all she had. Unaware that all the torment my "parents" put me through was to protect me.

"So who are my parents? They were terrible to me why bother even taking me in-"

"I told you who your father is. Your mother I don't know much about other than she was Amanda's sister."

"Was?" I scoffed. Of course she's dead.

"Not even dead no one knows what happened to her. After she gave you up she fell off the face of the planet." Jack scooted closer to me and put his hand over mine. "Ayla, they always knew what they signed up for when they took you in. Both of them were constantly feeling guilty and paranoid due to what they did to Martin so many years ago. They betrayed him. Martin used Amanda and her sister as brides to hopefully give him an heir."

I took a deep breath, "Why would they allow themselves to be with him? To have the same man?"

He shrugged, "They didn't know they had the same man. His first child was with Amanda, a defective son. Second time around both Amanda and her sister were pregnant at the same time. Amanda had a defective daughter and her sister had a defective son."

That meant that they were both cousins and siblings which made me feel sick to my stomach. That means that I have a real family out there, that I'm descended from the man that made my friend's lives terrible.

"And then he forced himself on your mom again and now here you are. Amanda took you knowing that Martin wouldn't be coming back for her after she gave him two ineligible heirs. You were basically hidden in plain sight."

Tears welled up in my eyes hearing that I was an unwanted product of assault. I brought great pain onto people before I was even born, my whole life seemed cursed. Everyday I'm constantly reminded of how bad things are and how I have to make up for them.

"Amanda didn't want to be attached to you and they didn't want you to be put through the same torture the three kids before you went through."

"Did he kill them?" I whispered. "Are my siblings dead?"

Jack paused before shaking his head. "No. But they are gruesome people. They live secluded away in California."

"Of course they are."

He sighed, "Which brings me to my next point." He squeezed my hand but wouldn't meet my eyes, "Ayla there are seven Insurgence bases throughout the United States and I think it's best we take you to one with a rebellion in it."

I yanked my hand away, "What?"

"Hiding out here is not going to keep you safe. I guarantee they already have some plan or people are already on their way to take you. That's not a fight we can win."

"So you just give me up?"

"Keep your voice down-"

"No!"

He stared at me, his eyebrows furrowed together, creasing his skin. His lips trembled before he shook his head. "It's not up for debate. I'm your protector."

"And what about you? You're acting like I will never see you again, worse you'll be killed. I'm sorry but I can't live with that. I've thought you were dead all these years and lived with that guilt but now..."

He looked up at me, "Now what?"

Now I think I have feelings for you. Feelings I've literally never felt for anyone else in my entire life. I've never heard anyone say they loved me in any form but... in a way that made me more sure of my emotions.

I gasped when Jack's hand found my cheek but immediately I melted into the palm of his hand, closing my eyes.

"I don't want to lose you either, Ayla," he whispered. "I'm an Insurgent first but... if I wasn't?"

Slowly I bent myself backwards, letting my back hit the hard ground and the fabric of the tent. He followed me and braced his arms on either side of my head. I could feel the weight of his body even though he wasn't pressed against me- but I wanted him to be. I wanted him close, I wanted him to say he wasn't going to give me up to some other place. Maybe even admit that I'm not escaping this world.

His nose braced against mine and I felt my stomach twist with butterflies. I wanted him so badly- just to feel one kiss to know what that felt like.

I feel like I'm going to die soon.

His hand found my cheek and his thumb smoothed back and forth over the skin. A tear escaped my eyes and fell into his skin which made his breath hitch.

And then he was off of me, and I sprang back up. Within seconds the zipper to the tent opened and Jasmine's face looked in.

She made my stomach churn. He must've heard her thoughts and stopped.

"I'm sorry but I need to borrow Ayla."

I bit the inside of my cheek.

Jack's eyes narrowed, "For what," he spat.

"I just want to talk I promise. About earlier."

Jasmine had a worried look on her face which made me soften. I think she was being sincere which both made me and Jack obviously anxious.

"Well... if it's okay with you..." Jack gestured to me.

I had a sick feeling in my stomach but I stood up and followed her out of the tent, taking one last look at Jack. I took a brave breath and closed up the tent and followed her down the path of lanterns into the forest.

"Deeper into the forest," I said nervously. "Do we really need to travel far away from camp?" I looked over my shoulder and watched the pale lights slowly get smaller. We were already past as far as the lantern trail went and with each step the sickening feeling worsened. I don't trust Jasmine.

"Insurgents have enhanced senses. I don't want people hearing."

I rolled my eyes, "Of course you don't want anyone to hear your apology."

She side glanced at me and then rolled her eyes but yet... stayed eerily silent. I was trying to bait her with my words but we kept walking.

"I don't know how comfortable I am walking this far away-"

"Shut up."

I stopped walking when two people stood in the forest holding torches in their hands and putting them against trees.

"What is this?" I whispered, looking at Jasmine.

She glared and grabbed the fabric of Jack's jacket and threw me forward.

The faces of the unknown people got bigger fast and I landed right below their feet. My head was spinning as I sat myself upright. Quickly I tried to move backwards but one of them grabbed the jacket and set me up against a rock.

"Wow..." He purred. "She's awfully pretty." His finger etched it's way from my hairline down to my jaw. "Surely it would be wasteful to-"

"Paul," Jasmine interrupted. "You made me a deal."

The girl beside "Paul" laughed. "Dear Jasmine you'll get what you want. More than you deserve considering your betrayal."

"Well look where that led me," she cut her off quickly. "Back to you."

Paul wouldn't take his almost white eyes off of me, contrasting with his darker skin, they practically glowed in the dark.

I registered what Jasmine said and squirmed against Paul's body, "You- how could you!"

Jasmine closed her eyes, "You said everyone would be spared if I turned her. There. You have her. Now leave."

The girl laughed, "Jasmine don't you know by now that Martin always wins?"

I screamed when Paul flipped me over so my stomach was laying across the rock.

"What are you-"

"Martin already has a plan to bring Ayla home, along with the rest of you filthy rebels." She hummed, "Perhaps with your good behavior you're not going to be droned after all. Guess this means you're voluntarily coming home Jasmine. Aren't you excited?"

I squirmed and tried to push myself forward but Paul held me down and took off my jacket, throwing it somewhere into the forest. I called out for Jasmine but out of the corner of my eye she was as still as a statue.

"You... we made a deal!" I flinched at Jasmine's breaking voice. She sounded so helpless and afraid- I never thought I'd hear her voice change in such a way.

"You lost Jasmine! And you'll be the one to deliver Ayla back to the friends you just betrayed after Paul is done having fun. Let her be a message that you're all on death row."

I screamed as Paul grabbed my arms and lifted my shirt off my body. I immediately attempted to cover my chest before he slammed me back down to the rock, a ringing sensation filling my head and clouding my vision.

A burning sensation spread throughout my back as something hard whacked against it. I screamed at the feeling of my skin splitting and tearing with each hit. The clashing sound was so loud... and then I heard laughter in the back. I couldn't hear my own screams or my voice calling out to Jasmine hoping she'd save me in the last second. But the pain continued and the ringing in my ears got louder, a cacophony with all the sounds of laughter in my surroundings.

My vision is going blurry now. I don't know if I'm making any noise anymore, I can feel my body flinch and twitch. I think I'm going to die right now and... I think I'm maybe at peace with that thought.