37

It took all my strength to free myself from under the wolf's lifeless body. I hobbled a few steps backwards, seeing the sword lodged in his back that had saved my life while taking my nightmare's.

Aleks stood by, slowly pulling his gun out of Calvin and looking at me wide-eyed, head tilted to the side as if trying to realize what had just happened here, what had happened to me.

As he slowly took a few steps toward me, blood-soaked sword in hand, I backed away and let out a small yelp of pain radiating from my shoulder to deep in my heart. "Melody?" he whispered as the first rays of sun hit us, showing us in a new light and giving him a full look into my brown tired eyes.

I stood there frozen, not knowing what was going to happen. Scared, but too hurt to flee fast enough and too confused to even find a way out of the situation.

Again he came a little closer and gripped the sword more tightly, ready to attack. It would be quick, that was my only thought, which made me want to close my eyes and whimper. I would die but my conscience was clear.

I heard the sound of the blade and took my last breath, holding the air deep in my chest, ready to never breathe out again.

What happened next was beyond my imagination. My eyes opened cautiously when I felt his hands on my shoulder. The sword lay resting on the ground behind him. He was holding a piece of cloth in his hands, had cut it off his shirt, and was using it to gently bandage my wound, which was painful for me, but bearable.

His brown hair fell slightly over his face as he cautiously placed himself in front of me, looking me in the eyes with fascination. I would have expected everything. With my death, or that he would flee, but now he stood in front of me and was just as confused as I was.

I nudged his arm with my muzzle, wanting to convey to him that it was still me stuck inside this big black wolf. The smile he gave me when I approached him was exactly the same smile he gave me when I was sitting in the grass with him in my human form.

Although I was convinced that he would never tolerate the real me, he did so without showing even a shred of resentment towards me. "You're beautiful." He gently stroked my fur that lay between my ears and with his tenderness elicited a soft growl from me that made him smile.

His men, who had survived, gathered protectively behind him and watched what was happening between the two of us. It was our last moments together. I knew it and he knew it too. The moment when he should let me go had come. With my instincts fully restored, I would easily make it back to the castle and finally give Emma the freedom that Aleks would use to find peace of mind.

A few tears filled my eyes, slowly running down my fur, but before they could fall to the ground, he gently wiped them away. "We'll meet again in another life, when we're both free souls," he whispered in my ear. His voice was shaking, and his eyes were shining now, too, from the tears that were collecting in them.

Without avoiding my gaze, he took a step back from me and gave me one last smile. Inside I cried, I wanted to tell him so much more. Thank him for saving my life and letting me go without even trying to stop me.

I reluctantly turned to the forest, through which small rays of sun shone, and slowly hobbled forward. Shortly before the first trees, I looked back again, looked deep into his blue eyes again, and said goodbye to him forever.

***

The way to the castle seemed endless to me. My shoulder was the least evil, because what really tore me apart was my aching heart, which made me howl in agony over and over again. How could I allow myself to develop feelings for a human being. How could I stray so far from Damien and force Saphir to submit to me, to put her drives on the back.

Slowly the sun said goodbye and made way for the darkness, which also completely occupied my insides. I hobbled on and on until familiar smells hit my nostrils. When the castle was already in sight, I collapsed in exhaustion and everything around me became increasingly blurred until only black was left and I fell into a deep sleep.

"Melody? ... Melody?!" Her voice entered my head softly. She sounded like an angel and for a moment I was convinced I was in heaven, until I laboriously opened my eyes and looked into Emma's bright blue eyes, which immediately tore my heart apart again. I rolled onto my side in my bed, crying, just wanting to continue sleeping, escaping the cruel confusion of my reality. I felt embarrassed, even though they were true feelings, everything that happened while I was away was just plain wrong. At least that's what my wolf genes told me.

"Everything will be fine." She stroked my back soothingly, which made me wince for a moment. I knew where she got her loving nature from, unfortunately I was painfully aware of it.

"Is she awake?" Damien's deep voice echoed through the sunlit room, making Sapphire jump with delight. She was in a good mood again, but I couldn't be mad at her for her twisted ways, because she was the reason I was alive, why Aleks was alive. "Yeah but I think she needs a little rest." Emma whispered to him softly as if she didn't know I could hear her. "Please leave us alone." He ordered her.

After the door slammed shut, the next thing I knew was my mate laying close to my back. Even though I hardly knew him, the connection to him was immediately reestablished. Again he chased me with his touch goosebumps all over my body. Managed to get my heart racing without trying too hard. It all confused me, made me angry because now I finally knew what real feelings were. They had nothing to do with instincts, but with mutual acceptance, no matter how different you were.

Even though my tears were still falling, my heart was still broken in my chest, right now I wanted nothing more than to feel loved.

I rolled onto my back carefully, careful not to injure my shoulder. Looked deep into the black-haired man's eyes and wistfully wiped away my last tears. "What happened?!" he asked seriously, looking at the bandage. "Calvin-" I breathed, "but he will no longer be a problem."

Damien looked at me confused, but then his eyes widened. He realized what I had done and immediately took me in his arms and gently stroked my black hair. "I'm so sorry. I will never let anyone hurt you again." He promised and kissed my forehead tenderly.

Actually, it would bother me to cry in front of him, to show him that I was so fragile. Especially when I knew there was another one. But how could I be mad at Camilla now that I knew how easy it was to build up feelings outside of the connection.

It would take a few days for my wolf genes to heal the wound on my shoulder. But how long would my heart need. Would I ever be able to live without pain again? Would the longing for him be burned deep in my consciousness forever, or could Damien's affection turn me back into the wolf I was before, proud of myself and never giving up. I didn't know, just had to cling to the hope that I would be better soon.

I snuggled into his warm chest, allowing his scent to surround me, his hands to pull my broken body tightly against him, and for a brief moment I felt safe, even if it was the wrong man making me feel that way.

For hours I just lay there, staring at the black nothingness with my eyes closed. Felt Damien's breath on my hair. Heard his heart beating softly against his chest and then took a deep breath. Didn't want to let his closeness any longer, had to start putting the pieces of myself back together without him by my side. "I'd like to be alone, please." I breathed softly and pushed myself a little away from him to be able to look at him, to observe his reaction.

His eyes showed me disappointment and anger. It was certainly rare for a woman to push him away, but if he ever wanted me for himself, he would have to accept my need for freedom as much as everything else about me.

Without saying a word, he pulled away from me and growled so softly it was barely audible. His heavy footsteps receded, and when I heard the door slam shut, I sat on the edge of the bed and considered my next steps.

Emma. I had to convince Nero to let her go. Especially the king, who harbored so much hatred towards people that it destroyed him inside. My legs led me into the bathroom, where the first thing I did was look at my reflection. "You look like shit." "Thanks for that." I rolled my eyes. "I didn't just allow the transformation so you could save Aleks. I want to finally become one with Damien! Pull yourself together and start thinking like a strong wolf, not like a broken human!", she growled.

I wanted to tell her what I thought, driving her out of my head again, but I needed her now more than ever and I was tired of the endless battle with myself. The constant back and forth like I was destined to go insane someday. Worst of all, it wasn't just sapphire against me anymore, but my heart was fighting now too, no longer being guided by instinct and determination, having made a choice of its own, even if it seemed hopeless.

Without taking my eyes off the mirror, I washed my hands. The ice-cold water ran over my skin, briefly making me close my eyes and think back to the day at the lake. How free I felt that day. How clueless I was to what happened after the sun went down.

I turned off the water and left my room, walking slowly down the large hallway, wanting to breathe in the fresh air outside, to fill my lungs with it.

Emma stood at the top of the stairs, looking down at the market, which, as always, was full of people busily helping themselves from the stalls. "I met your brother," I whispered softly in her ear, making sure no one could overhear us.

She stopped breathing for a few seconds and stared at me wide-eyed, started shaking and for a moment I thought she was going to pass out. I took her arm carefully and sat down with her on the top steps of the stairs, let her calm down briefly and held my aching shoulder.

"Did he do this to you?" she asked softly, her gaze on my shoulder. "No. Oh god no. That was a bastard who can never hurt anyone again. Your brother saved me Emma." A half-hearted smile formed on her lips, which suddenly changed as she began to cry bitterly, covering her hands in front of her beautiful face. "I miss him so much," she sobbed, and I knew exactly how she felt. "You'll see him again soon. I promise you that." I gently stroked her back and gave her a hopeful smile that Camilla's voice immediately banished from my face.

"Probably stumbled while trying to escape?" A deep, ugly laugh came out of her as she eyed my shoulder and walked past us into the castle. "I'm going to eat with Damien now. Have fun." I heard her shrill voice disappear behind me.

Just annoyed by everything, I sat silently next to Emma, whose tears were slowly drying. Everything in my life was so scattered I didn't know where to begin to clean up the mess. The jealousy towards Camilla that I didn't want to feel. The animalistic need for Damien that Saphir increased whenever he was within range of my perception. The longing for someone who didn't come from my world, who still touched me emotionally more than my mate, who was destined for me by fate.

I got up angry and desperate, tried to ignore my feelings, but noticed more and more how they slowly destroyed me from the inside. "Are you alright?" Emma looked up at me, still sitting. I avoided her gaze immediately, couldn't bear the blue eyes for another second.

"Yes, I'm just tired. The wound is bothering me. Tomorrow we'll think about something and I'll talk to Nero. But for now I'll lie down." "Would you like me to accompany you?" she asked calmly. "No. Enjoy the weather. See you tomorrow." A glimpse of her beautiful face, then I walked down the hall to my room, lay down on my warm soft bed and smiled as I indulged in my dreams, which, if only for a short time, seemed more real to me than anything else.

***

Well rested and still powerless I looked at him. He sat at the head of the table, as always, waiting for what I had to say.

"I wanted to ask your permission to set Emma free," I dared, sitting in my place at the long table, a long black dress draped around me. "I have to disappoint you Melody, but Emma was lucky enough to be allowed to live here the way she does. You have Damien to thank for that, you would never have gotten my permission for that." He took a deep sip from his mug, adjusted his gray suit, and then looked at me indifferently. "There has to be some way. I'll never expect or ask for anything again." I begged, which was quite difficult for me. After Calvin, I vowed never again to submit to a man

"Well, yes. There is a possibility-" he curiously drew my attention. "Close the bond with my son, stand by him faithfully, and Emma is a free person. I give you my word."

" Say yes! He'll be ours!" sapphire whimpered, but I couldn't quite share her enthusiasm. Becoming one with Damien was out of the question for me.

Letting him tag me now would mean being connected to him forever. Feelings for each other would only grow because of the union, not because we actually felt them. Nero could have asked for anything, but that was just impossible for me. I wasn't ready to give myself up completely and turn myself into a puppet drooling for my mate. I angrily picked up my glass and took a few sips. My throat was so dry from tension, the cold water relaxed it.

"I don't expect you to decide today. My offer stands. Now let's have breakfast. The others will surely come later."

Without looking at him again, let alone exchanging a word with him, I ate him up and thanked him afterwards before I disappeared outside into the sun.

"Good morning." Aiden met me halfway down the stairs. "Good morning." I caught a glimpse of the blonde's smiling face and walked past him to look at the beautiful little paintings at a stand. One was perfect for me. It showed a large apple tree, which, despite the snowy landscape around it, was blossoming beautifully.

"If you want it, I'll buy it." Damien's voice sounded behind me, who stood next to me and looked at the picture. "No it's okay." I quickly put it back and wanted to leave, but he held me and pulled me close to him. My heart pounded as I looked up into his deep warm brown eyes. "Come with me." He whispered and pulled me to his convertible. "What are you up to?" He looked at him questioningly, but he just laughed and held the door open for me to sit down.

"Wait a minute, I'll be right back." He ran to Camilla, who was standing at the bottom of the stairs, staring at me. I saw the two arguing, but couldn't understand a word. An uneasy feeling spread through me, and just as I was about to get out, Saphir protested louder than ever in my head, forcing me to sit right here.

"Here we go." Damien climbed in smiling. The thin black sweater and light blue jeans looked great on him. He looked perfect, like he was destined to sit in that convertible in those exact clothes. "Where are we going?" "Let yourself be surprised." "And what if I don't want to go anywhere with you." I raised an eyebrow. "You want my closeness, I know that, even if you still resist it." One look into his eyes and my heart beat faster again. He could hear it, and that confirmed his words. Grinning, he started the engine and drove through the big gate, over the bridge towards the forest.

I sat nervously in the passenger seat and let the pleasant wind blow through my black hair. While I felt comfortable next to him, I was sure it was just the connection that made me feel that way.

We drove through the dense forest for a long time, until it suddenly disappeared behind us and a huge meadow opened up to us, in the middle of which an apple tree blossomed. "Is that the tree from-" "Yes, that's it," he interrupted me and turned off the engine. After he got out, he immediately came to my side and opened the door for me. I was surprised at how friendly he had been since I got back. Previously so cold and dismissive, showing little interest in yours truly, and now he gave me his full attention.

"I want to ask you a question Melody-" he began to take a deep breath as we strolled towards the tree together, "do you even want to be here? Well, I mean voluntarily. I see you suffering, an inner struggle with yourself And I honestly don't know how to deal with you."

My eyes fell on his thoughtful face. He looked over at the tree and you could see the small desperation that was also in his voice. I had never seen him so vulnerable, or had Camilla's presence only focused on the negative. "I pictured my life differently. A man who would love me without feeling obligated by a connection," I replied quietly, wondering if he could even understand me. To what extent would a prince agree to my ideas, since he was the most desirable werewolf with so many choices. He could have had any woman, whether free or married, and they would all immediately submit to him, make themselves his,

He took a step towards me, snapping me out of the endless whirlpool of my thoughts and demanding my full attention. "Do you honestly think it's just the mate thing that makes me want to be close to you? I would have found you so incredibly attractive in that red silk dress.", he grinned from ear to ear and briefly the memory of Calvin came back to me my thoughts, which sent a shiver down my spine. I looked the black-haired man in the eye, let it catch my breath for a moment and then avoided his gaze. While it flattered me, I've known since puberty that men found me physically attractive. It wasn't what I wanted from men. My dream was to find someone who would see through the beautiful shell wanted to see and touch my insides would not be blinded by the black hair, the brown eyes and my figure. Aleks brought me that feeling by not caring about my looks. He gave me those amorous looks without a nice dress making me look elegant or my hair done nicely. But he was different, differed in so many ways from the men I knew.

Camilla, like me, was a woman who men looked at. Was that his goal? Damien just wanted to be around beautiful women to be the envy of other wolves. How was I supposed to ever make a decision when I was so divided myself in everything I felt or thought.

"I need time," I gave him back and then turned away from him to walk towards the tree that should free me from all the chaos in my head with its beauty. I didn't want to think anymore if I was just going to be a trophy for him or if at some point it would also be about real feelings on his part. I would have preferred to ban all feelings and thoughts from my consciousness for a while, but they would continue to control me, regardless of whether I would allow it or not.